i need help with my mom?

Question

we argue like every day now she says we arent getting any thing for christmas and i really want to just stay out of her way, do my chors and be good so we can have some peace in our house so how can i teach my self to bite my lip and be really good from now on (im fourteen) thanx

sorry for any spelling mistakes!!!

Answer 1

For one, i know how hard it can be to get along with moms (im a dads girl) and my mom gets on my last nerve.....secondly, when parents say "youre not getting anything for x-mas, dont believe them(even though thats not what christmas is about...im sure everything youre getting has been bought unless shesa very last minute shopper.....The best thing to do would be not to talk to her at all unless she talks to you...and if she takes offense to "being ignored" just agree with what ever she says, but in your mind you can be saying/thinking what ever you want.....youre at the age where youre deciding and thinking/doing things for your sefl for yourself, but youre not quite there yet ;)

Answer 2

Wow, that's huge, I'm sorry you're both going through this tough time. I'm a Mom with three children, now all grown, but how well I remember the arguments with my daughter when she was 14. The biggest things we'd argue about were the chores and the curfew. She wanted to be so independant and I still wanted to control her, sound familar? What I didn't do then, but can see so clearly now, we should have just sat down and talked things out, without all the anger and resentment you both may be feeling. My daughter never did anything to make me mistrust her, so my need to control her was all me, not her, yet she was the one that paid for my issues. Our arguments led her to start avoiding me, she began to not tell me where she was going and when she'd tell me she was going somewhere she knew I'd let her go, basketball games and such, she'd really go to places she knew I'd never let her go. Is this the same for you? Ask your Mom and try to resolve this. Is your Mom going through something that may be causing her to act differently? Another thing I can see clearly now, when one child made me angry I would punish everyone by saying things like your Mom did about no one getting Christmas presents. I didn't really mean it, I was just trying to make everyone else feel as bad as I was feeling. I wish I had never done things like that, but at the time I didn't realize I was doing it, you know? It will take a lot of courage on your part to ask her to talk freely with you, but I know she loves you more than anything. You both should try to give each other a chance, and another, and another....keep trying to trust each other and try not to give her reason to mistrust you, you'll see and so will she. Maybe you can let her read this too? You won't be 14 forever and you'll want your Mom to be your best friend when you too are a full grown woman, trust me! Good luck to you, and I hope your family has a very Merry Christmas!

Answer 3

well whenever I get upset w/ my mom I try my best to just be quiet (which I am not always able to do, unfortunately!)and get the heck out of there as fast as I can! I go to my room, shut the door, might put on some music and write in my journal or call one of my friends, get on the computer, stuff like that. I pray, try to calm down and realize what went wrong. A lot of times our parents are right, but sometimes they snap at us if they're having a bad day. They might get upset about little things that normally wouldn't affect them that way. That's sad that she says you all won't be getting anything for Christmas, maybe finances are tight. Chances are you all might get something, but even if you all don't, you still have a house, family, etc. Just whenever she gets to you realize that if it is her mistake and she is getting all mad at you over nothing, you are being more mature by holding back, which will get you farther in life than any Christmas present ever could. Hope I helped. Feel free to email me. good luck=)

Answer 4

Your mom could be acting spiteful for a number of reasons. Hormones, love life, jealousy (toward you). You can not fix any of these things. The only thing you can do is exactly what you are doing, staying out of her way. Best thing to do is never make a comment negative or positive. Just listen. If you have another household you could move to that may be another option. (A grandparents, aunts, father's house). Busy yourself with your friends, hobbies, activities. We don't get to choose our parents. If we can not learn from them then we have to learn what not to do from them.

Instead of always saying "sorry for any spelling mistakes" isn't there a "check spelling " button when you ask a question?

Answer 5

Yeah i feel your pain. my mom kicked me out of the house and sent me to military school for running away from home. But she is a really good person i promise, shes just a perfectionist and is really strict at times. I forgive her and try to be good when i come home from the military, just suck it up and give in, shes trying to teach u some consistency and some motivation. Believe me when u get older u will have a boss that will not care what your excuse is and they will fire u. Its worse when u are an adult. U are not an adult and i know that. But your mom wants u to start somewhere. And her vision of an adult is doing your chores and being good. As long as she doesnt send u to bootcamp u should be good. lol good luck happy holidays.

Answer 6

Some people may say talk to her about your feelings and all that wishy washy stuff and on some occasions i might say that too, but since i have first hand experience in that area i know that does not work. You have to learn to be passive and let things just flow through you. In one ear and out the other. I found that there were less arguments and less problems if you don't talk back. Just do whats asked of you but do it when your told not a while later because that pisses them off. Hang in there, when you get older it lessens

Answer 7

Everybody says that you must respect your Mother, just as they did when i was 14. What noone tells you is that she should respect you too. Mothers usually tell you to do things for your own good so try to listen to her and if you dont agree then tell her why calmly, dont sulk and dont strop and she might be more inclined to listen. As for staying out of her way sorry but your 14 and she's your mom you cant really manage that, and don't worry about the no presents thing, my 6 year old sons been told that twice today already, but i dont mean it.

Answer 8

the good thing is you are admitting that you are contributing to the problem at home... i think the best you can do is do what is expected of you before she says anything.... like your chores for example... homeworks...etc. and yes, don't be quick on yelling back at your mom as you know it's not going anywhere except on to more fights. write down your chores if that would help remind you. your chores should be part of your everyday routine so you will not forget. and to make up with your mom, try to be more willing to help around the house, come up to her and ask her if she needs help with anything like if she is in the kitchen cooking,,, you will melt her heart. but be consistent. don't just do it when she is angry...
goodluck...

Answer 9

what i think you should do is apologize to her mayb and think of how much you want presents for christmas everytime she tries to strike up an argument so that way you like know u mite get ur present if u just dont say n e thing at all. n everytime she says somethin agree even if u relly disagree.

Answer 10

Just stay calm and keep other things on your mind. I know it can be hard but just obey your parents and look forward to when you turn 18, then you can do whatever you want.