i love my ex, i need tips on how to help get her back?

Question

ok, i was goin out with this girl for about a year and three months she always told me she is really happy being in a serious relationship with me, then we had a fight three weeks ago she thought she was pregnant n wudnt talk to me she is not pregnant though it was a stupid fight, and she broke up with me 2 weeks ago, she said she doesnt want a relation ship anymore cause of the preassure, i havent really left her alone ive being calling her n stuff, and i know i shoulndnt. so i left her alone for a few days, she emailed me yesterday and said she was going to flynns(bar) she said she was goin with a freind and said she will see me if im there.. i didnt go i wanted her to have space and i didnt want her thinking im desperate.she called me a a few mins ago and asked if she could get her stuff from my room,sumtime this week i said of course you can(im trying to keep cool) she said ok, i
didnt make small talk, i think she expected me too, but i think its up to her, she nos i luv her

Answer 1

i think u should tell her, becuase i think by da sound of this, she thinks u move on

Answer 2

Ok well the way the question is asked is vague in a way: what type of "pressure" does she say she feels from you? Because she used the word "pressure", though (a quite awkward defensive word), I have a strong feeling she's hiding something.

My best guess is this girl is happy with you as a supportive person but not as a physically/sexually exciting person. Faked pregnancy can be a rather awkward, nasty way of a girl's telling a guy she's scared having a baby with you might not make a "good enough" looking kid. This is annoying and darwinistic, I know, but girls give tremendous weight to social impressions popularity often outweighs stability for them.
Think about it, if she were really looking for "a happy stable relationship" why would she be at a bar (even if she was going with a female friend not a potential date)?!

On the other hand you can turn this around by going the next "bar hop" she mentions but mostly talking to her friends. Chances are either she'll get jealous and realize you are not to be taken for granted or one of her friends will notice you (and, even though it isn't right to date her friends if you become friends with her and she introduces you to another girl dating her is fair game).

But, here's the crux/point of it, the point, like you said, is to be cool and not look desperate. Other things that help include getting in better shape and being caught in front of her in situations where you are happier than her (IE you go out to a bar with your guy friends and have a blast dance with girls and she pops up at the bar wishing she could be happy like you).

Also, if she starts making small talk with you, tell her something like "you know going on about adult problems isn't my think I'd rather be out dancing/hanging with my friends/working out... And this long-term thing got boring I don't want to live like we're 36 and about to have kids. I shouldn't be taking your paranoia if you're not ready to turn around be a real woman stop whining and enjoy yourself why are you even talking? Either be a woman or be gone I have a life to live. If you give a da*n you can go with me and buy me a drink, then I want to go (for example, something a bit risque and, yes, kinky) swimming tonight." The last part is essential as it let's her know, while you're good at long-term relationships with her, she's not going to get more exciting dates by ditching you for a fling (why get someone new hoping to see something new if you keep reinventing yourself and surprising her?). ;-) Also remember, you should be confident, you've been with her in many physical situations before and this one should be easier because the environment alone makes it, yes, erotic.

This will let her know you are strong, not desperate at all, and, besides being decent to her, she should realize if she's leaving for someone "stronger" to have her baby just she's barking up a tree.
Furthermore it lets her know the only reason you were with her is she made life fun and if she's doing a lousy job of it, she's fired by you it's not just that she dumped you it also goes that you realized you should be a stronger advocate for yourself over her.

And, in short, that will send her a clear message: I'm not the nice guy doormat I'm not "Al Bundy" my attitude is more "James Bond".

Answer 3

sounds like a soap opera to me. When she comes to collect her things help her move them out. When she asks if you love her don't say a thing. Next time she wants a meeting give her "space" so she knows you are just loving her in your special screwed up way. Then when she finds another more honest guy......be happy for her....
she'll know you love her. Never forget how cool you are. After all that's why she's so happy she left.

Answer 4

Just kiss and make up. How old are you ? Maybe she wants you to marry her when she found out she got pregnant and that was where your problem started.If you really like her court and date her again. Give her presents she likes. By these time you already know her favorite food and restaurant.

Answer 5

hey...dude i total understand. I dated a girl for 3 years and she broke up with me. When people go through "hard times" ...like being pregnant...there world get fliped upside down. They need time to get back and forget about what happen. I really dont know the whole story..so i cant tell you what to exactly do, but she seems like she still care about you, and i can feel she still thinks about you. But my best suggestion for you, is that you talk with her ...take her out to eat...or take her to a quiet place... tell her how you feel about her...let everything out...then tell her at the end."

i love you and you mean the world to me, but i dont want to make you do something that you dont want to do, I want to be with you, but if you dont want too or your not ready then i let you go, but i wait for you as long as it takes."

After you two talk,, see what she says and then go with what you feel in your heart. If you feel she doesnt care, then dude you need to move on, but if you feel she still care, wait for her. If she says that i need time..GIVE HER TIME...trust me she will call you and want you back. But i think the best thing for you and i know it hurts. is to give her time, but as least tell her how u feel..it make you feel better

Answer 6

i know you might love her but you just have to go on, because my boyfriend brokeup with me and went out with my best girl, i' havent called him since then maybe like once only, but know i'm ok, just find someone that likes u for real and leave that girl alone cause she's probably laughing behind your back.

Answer 7

Think you're doing the right thing by leaving her alone.

She's obviously confused at the moment. Don't ask her to come back to her, the ball is in her court

Answer 8

if she deosnt want you back then dont force her back with you. let her deal with the loss of you and you do the same. it hurts because it happend to me with my ex who i dated for 3 years. if she keeps on saying she was prego that is dirty. when she comes to your place dont act all hyped out about losing her because i am sure you can remain friends. friends can get along and maybe might become more than friends if you care that much about her.

Answer 9

If you steal love her i thikn that you should give her a few weeks to breathe, then you tell your steal in love with her, if she does not love you anymore then you should just move on

Answer 10

Just tell her how you feel without the begging, crying and pressuring. If she stays good, if she leaves oh well.