My Dad passed away 12-5-05. I 'talk' to him every night after I pray. Is this unhealthy?

Question

He was only 45 yrs. & a police officer. I was so proud of him. He passed 3 months before my wedding. We were very close. I understand that he's gone, but it doesn't seem 'real' to me. Is it making it all worse by 'talking' to him at night? I feel like it's part of the grieving process, but I just want to feel better & don't know if the way I'm dealing with it's unhealthy for me. I still miss him so much & part of me feels like it helps to 'talk' to him, but I also wonder if that's keeping it all from becoming 'real' to me. I'm just so confused & hurt right now. Sometimes it makes me physically sick when I think about him really being gone. By the time I found out he was in the hospital & not doing well, I had to drive 2 hrs on the ice to get to him. By the time I got there, he was gone. I partially think that's the reason I am still holding on so strongly. . . because I didn't really get to say goodbye. I'm a psychology major, & I feel like I should be able to deal with it, but I can't

Answer 1

I am sorry for your loss, I hope this helps you a bit.

I lost my son 14 years ago and I still talk to him every night. Even if its something small like an "I love you and miss you baby boy" I still say it.
Hold on strong to your father, he was and still is an important man in your life.

You are dealing with your loss, you breath and live life everyday. You are keeping his memory alive with each word you speak to him.

Best wishes honey.

Answer 2

My Dad died Sept 30 1990. He was hundreds of miles away and I couldn't get there in time. But I still talk to him. And in his way, he still speaks to me. Grief takes time, and time may heal, but it's the continued contact that really soothes the spirit. You're not "holding on", you're communing. Whether it's with the spirit of your Dad or the memories you have of him in your own heart, or whatever else your belief system tells you ... doesn't matter, it's as natural as air.

Answer 3

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved father. I can empathize because I lost my father at the tender age of 52. It devastated my family. Live one day at a time, keep praying and keep talking to him. I believe he is in a better place and feels your love. Keep him in your heart and he'll be with you forever. One day you will all be reunited.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. I lost my Dad 15 years ago and still talk to him frequently. It actually makes me feel good, like he is an extra angel on my side. It also helps to be able to talk to a good friend about your grief.

Answer 5

growing up i was close to my grandfather and grandmother, they both died like 10 years ago. i still talk to them today, i believe strongly that they are around me and my two kids. it does make me feel better sometimes to talk to them. my grandparents suffered alot in the hospital and i feel confident that they are so much better off.

Answer 6

your father will always be alive as long as you remember him. my moms dad passed on the year my daughter was born, she was disabled but my grandpa still prayed over her until he died and i feel that in heaven he still watches out for us. he is with us always. i only need to look at my beautiful healthy girl to know it's true. she is no longer disabled.

Answer 7

yes its perfectlly ok to talk to your dad.. no you havent hard closure yet... so it doesnt seem real , time will help your process in the mean time seek out a pastor or priest to talk to or even a counselor good luck to you hon god bless!!

Answer 8

there is nothing wrong with still talking to your dad, especially if it gives you comfort.

Answer 9

you don't have to deal with emotional pain. sometimes it is good.
i am sorry about your dad