I have been dating a very attractive and fairly nice woman for over a year. There have been some rough periods--I think it has to do with the fact that she was sexually abused as a child. After the child abuse, she had a series of abusive relationships. Sometimes she lashes out at me and gives me the cold shoulder without warning. She doesn't have any close friends. I think I'm the only person who's really close to her-other than her mom. There are times though that I think I can't handle this and want to move on. At other times, there appears to be hope for the future. I am torn. I wonder if this is worth all of the ups and downs.
2006-12-10 04:54:53 · 5 answers · asked by happy4u 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is up to you - whether or not you feel its worth it all. I feel that because of you, she has a chance to come back and have a good life. I hope you realize that what you are doing is very helpful to her. Yes, it takes time to work past all the demons - try to be patient. She will come around - maybe you could suggest some sort of counseling, it would help. If you feel she is worth the fight, stay there and help her thru it all. I wish you luck.
2006-12-10 05:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I am in the same boat. My girl is crazy.
The unpleasant truth is that as men, we want to "fix" these girls. But you can't. You can try to help, but it's up to her to find her own way and heal.
In the meantime, all you can do is hang on and enjoy the ride while it lasts. Only you can decide if it's worth it. Consider taking a break (if you're exclusive) or start looking for a replacement. Don't feel bad for her, she's a big girl and will be able to take care of herself.
2006-12-10 05:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by Quagmire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its is possible- but only if the victim gets counseling to help deal with the trauma. It takes alot of commitment to help someone who has experienced physical or sexual abuse. If you want to stay you will have to focus on the hope for the future, if you want to go, recommend she get some help on your way out... either way, she should get counseled for what happened to her.
2006-12-10 05:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by shiksaw 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOSH! My bf was made to rape his sisters when he was young. He can be abusive and break up with me 3x a month and then get me back with him again. (headtrip.) It is definitely worth it. What I suggest, and what I need to do is read alot of psychology books.
Stop having sex with her, let her know that she has more to offer than sex. Be friends with her. Support her about the abuse, tell her it wasn't her fault and only counsel her when she volunteers info, try to get her bornagain Christian. Good Luck.
2006-12-10 05:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kendra H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know its much less complicated stated than achieved, yet you in basic terms gotta make up your techniques and do it. EDIT: some all of us is obviously resilient; others decide for to be. Getting a physically powerful help device will additionally make it lots much less complicated. supply your self time to recover from all your grief. enable your self to stay a sprint shy for a whilst, besides the shown fact that it form of feels you may open on the internet without too lots concern, so why no longer seek for an online help team? You extremely decide for to seek for people who've suffered abuse and have overcame. avert surrounding your self with people who're suffering too lots additionally. you in addition to might might desire to attempt and make some acquaintances you may locate in individual. avert all those that are adverse/ unsupportive to the terrific of your skill. as nicely, you will possibly desire to seek for out people who've committed themselves to being style and useful. i'm hoping this does not sound patronizing, yet many church homes are crammed with people who've reliable values. whether you do no longer believe in God, a effective sermon could be very motivating, and church is an remarkable place to make lifelong acquaintances. evaluate attending in basic terms long sufficient to make acquaintances. If one church seems hyporcritical to you, pass directly to the subsequent. Be up front once you bypass. tell them you do no longer believe in God and don't decide for to be patronized, yet which you have been abused and in basic terms choose a chum. a lot of human beings would be extra effective than happy to have the skill to make a chum themselves. EDIT #2: make certain you get time-honored workout, sleep, and a balanced food regimen. Even in basic terms commencing out walking quarter-hour 4 x week will help. Do your terrific to bypass to sleep and wake interior the comparable hour each and on a daily basis, getting a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night, and if on occasion, you do no longer, make up for it. no longer looking after your self will in straightforward terms make you drained and / or sick, which will make it very confusing to experience beneficial, etc. i'm a qualified very own coach, with the help of how.
2016-10-14 09:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋