i've met a man who is older than me. well, he's about my father's age. at first i haven't thought about having a relationship with him. but after i have hnown him closely i realised that he is a special person, that he knows many things and makes me feel very confortable when i'm with him.
but he told me that he wanted us to be more than friends and confessed he's in love with me.
i didn't really know how to react because i wasn't expecting to it, so i didn't answer for the moment . i'm very attached to him, maybe as a father, maybe as a friend or a lover i don't seem to realize it now.
but, anyway, this feeling is very confusing because, no matter what kind of feeling it might be, i care about him and i wouldn't like us to drift apart.
my friends say that he's too old for me and i should get out with guys of my age, because i might regret years after.
but would it be wrong to have a relationship with an older man? could this affect our friendship?
what do you think about it?
2006-12-10 04:50:24 · 14 answers · asked by AnneMarie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Five years, ten years age difference, no problem. Fifteen years is pushing it. Thirty years? That's just too damn different. I don't care what people say "age is only a number, blah blah", those people never understood the meaning of two people, in love, SHARING their lives together. Now how can you share a life with someone who is thirty years older than you? You can't get through learning experiences with him (which is part of the joy of relationships) because he's already gone through them all and is bored of it. He will always be telling you "trust me, I have been through it." You'll always feel younger, less experienced, even stupid around him. You won't enjoy your life milestones if you're with him. You'll be forced to age too quickly and you'll miss out on the joys of being young. He won't go out and socialize the same way you'll want to do with your friends, you won't go through your "firsts" together, as your friends are -- first house, etc. He might think he's in love with you, and why not? You're young, vibrant, beautiful -- he probably doesn't think women his age suit him for various (superficial, probably) reasons. Maybe he wants someone younger so he always feels right. You have to think about his reasons for wanting someone so young...and perhaps even go far enough to think about maybe why he's not married already, to someone his own age.
Bottom line? 30 years is just pushing it, darlin. Don't throw your precious youth away, you'll regret it when you're 40 and he dumps you for someone else who is the age you are now.
2006-12-10 05:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Age is in basic terms a style--in case you sense a connection with him, do out with him and notice the place it is going. inspite of the incontrovertible fact that age is in basic terms a style, a 19 year old who's in college is going to have lots much less existence stories than a guy who's 30 with a 4 year old daughter. that's something you will ought to take into consideration in case you modify into severe with him. he's possibly have been given an ex/toddler mama to handle. human beings substitute a protracted between the age of nineteen-30! inspite of the incontrovertible fact that it incredibly is real, i think of you're able to desire to choose for it and notice what takes place! :) sturdy-success!
2016-12-18 10:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by ehiginator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong? No.. is it what is best for you.. probably not.. if you dont want to lose your friendship with him or drift away.. then if you and he are so close... it should not be a problem to tell him that. It could cause problems with your family and friends to date someone that much older... Its your life and relationship.. but you really need to think hard about this issue.. What is looking to gain by changing the friendship.. Why does he want to date someone so much younger.. I think its twisted to treat a girl like a daughter and be in that kind of thing.. I dont know... i wish you the best
2006-12-10 04:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by gotseatbelts 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't be going out with a man who's 30 years older with you if you want to have a family someday then definatly dump this guy because he's not capable of that!!!! Still be friends with him but just not gf and bf ! Think about this do you want to have a bf your age or a boyfriend who reminds you of your dad ? Come out into the real world and stop dating this guy !
2006-12-10 05:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by taste the rainbow<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously moved past friend stage, so your only choices that would not rip him to shreds are either return his love or move on.
Attention all girls: "Just be friends" to a guy is equal to "maybe I can find a way to make her love me given time". Be decent and don't put him through that if you don't love him, because he will spin his wheels trying to make something happen if you continue in relationship to him.
Stay his friend and stomp on his heart. So don't be a selfish lass who needs attention more than considering his feelings.
2006-12-10 04:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're okay with the age difference, it doesn't matter what your friend think. Just take it slow. Real slow.
2006-12-10 04:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Quagmire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think ahead. When you're 48 he'll be 78. At 48 you will not be 'past it' but at 78 he will.
2006-12-10 20:58:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're 18 or older, go for it. If he treats you with respect there's no reason not to give it a try. Age is only a # when there's 2 consenting, willing adults...
2006-12-10 04:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ray 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
personally i think its sick, but to each their own , whatever makes a person happy is all that really matters, no one elses opinion shouldnt matter when it comes to your heart and the love you have for that person.....You can only answer whether it is wrong or right!
2006-12-10 04:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Melindakaye 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if it feels right then do it , you wont know until you try, make it clear from the start though, if it dosnt work out that you still want to remain friends,
2006-12-10 12:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by Calais 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋