NORMAL after RAPE???

Question

My g/f was raped a few months ago(not by me) and ever since then has only worn big baggy clothes that don't show off her hot body. Is this normal?? Why does she do this??She got consuling.
She reported the guy too.
Why isn't she ok with her body anymore?? She even quit gymnastics so she wouldn't have to wear leotards anymore.
Does she blame herself and is trying to change herself b/c of this??
Will it change eventually?? She says she is beginning to feel better again, so will it change soon?? I hate seeing her like this. I want her to be OK with herself and not hide who she is. Will she ever accept her appearance and inner self again??

She was gang raped by two guys she knew for many years. She said she should have never trusted them. Will she ever trust again??

Answer 1

I would say that she has,sadly, lost her self esteem. She may have gotten some physical harm that she doesn't want to tell anyone. On a good day, sit with her and ask her really whats wrong. It is very hard to come back from rape. It's a good thing she got counseling, and it will probably take much time to get her back to the way she was. She will, sooner or later accept herself, but it will take time, so be patient. Also, tell her to read Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. It will help. Im sure! Good Luck!

Answer 2

The poor thing, yes she blames herself because society says we ask for it when we dress provacatively....trouble is some women don't have to dress that way to get noticed by everyone. She hasn't had enough counseling......and she hasn't gotten mad. She has to get angry, very angry to reclaim herself. Right now she is hiding behind baggy clothes so no one is attracted to her. Thats not how it works, its a symptom that she needs more therapy. And babe, you have to quit calling her HOT, she is beautiful.....Hot implies sexuality, she is trying to avoid that. She can be as beautiful as ..... say, artwork, a greek statue etc. She is trying to hide her sexuality so she doesn't turn on anyone else who might attack her. So hold her and tell her shes beautiful and that she should be proud of her own strength for surviving what she has been through........but do not call her hot......that is an insult at this point. She also needs to realize a woman isn't raped because she looks good, has a nice figure etc.....its because a sick male is out to hurt and demean a woman, they want to beat her down and make her insecure. They are out to hurt and destroy that which makes us what we are. If were about our looks overweight women would never be raped right, thats not the case though is it? You two should probably get some counseling together too.

Answer 3

Give her time This happened to me when I was 13 and I trusted everyone by 2 men at the same time I really dont know how I did it but I guess I put it in the back of my mind somewhere and it never came up in my mind untill I had my first daughter and to me I wouldnt let this stop me from living n I blamed myself for a long time and than I got over it , it wasnt my fault I didnt have the problem it was the jerks that raped me they had the problem , yes it will take her a while just stick by her , every one says I am a strong person so , this has kept me ok but oyhers take this different just be patient and be there for her if you truley care and this is normal for some I can understand this I was just not going to let this ruin my life but it sure made me know how to raise my kids . Be There

Answer 4

Well, rape is exceedingly hard to "get over". I was raped 6 years ago, and am still not the same. I wore baggy clothes for over a year after the incident. Even now it has an effect on my sex-life with my husband...I don't know if a person is *EVER* the same after a sexual assault. Every person is different...give her time.

Answer 5

She will become herself again in time. Its such a big thing to have to deal with that shes bound to be like this for a while. Its part of her blaming herself thinking that if she'd covered herself up more then it wouldnt have happened, which isnt true its just the way her mind has reacted. You need to reassure her that it wasnt her fault and that its not going to happen again.

Answer 6

Give her TIME!!! if she does not want to advertise, respect it.

Most likely she is gonna have intimacy issues for some time. Its too bad but well, sadly, that is the way it is.

You can help her by providing support. First of all, enroll in self defense classes together.

Second, listen. Respect her feelings.

Third, got an excuse to do so and she does not mind hug her. Tell her you are there to help her win.

Answer 7

she was violated in the worst way possible. she isnt comfortable with wearing tight clothes because she is afraid. its good she got consuling, and she will probably accept herself again. dont mention anything about her hot body, because her rapist thought that 2. dont mention her wardrobe to her. she is too self consicious. do convince her to join gymnastics again, because this will help her gain her stability back. as her boyfriend, be there for her in every shape and form.

Answer 8

It's going to be hard for her for a while so just be there for her when she needs u and don't rush her to start trusting she will when she's ready.Eventually she wear clothes to fit her body again but now she's still trying to be comfortable she'll be ok!!!

Answer 9

First off, i am so sorry to hear the trauma that she has went through. Second, when a woman is raped, she is violated, and those scars can hang around for a lifetime. Just be with her, and be patient. And most of all, just be her friend.

Answer 10

There is little you can do other than support her. She will never forget what happened to her, even if she does learn to cope with her life with that memory. Rape is terrorism on the most personal level. Just be gentle and supportive of her.