My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 5 months(aniversery right after xmas) and we have realized that throughout most of our relationship we have just given up our own ideas and attempted to make the other happy. Sometimes we could see breif periods of pure happyness where it worked perfectly, but almost since the begining all we have been trying to do is change the other and just giving in to make the other happy. We now realized this, but we dont know what to do about it, we utterly need to find us.
We have contemplated several options
we could break up, but that would hurt alot, and it might not b useful because we still might b meant for each other
we could take a break, find us and get back together to see how it works out, but that would hurt alot, and we might not b able to think under that pain
we could just continue like this, but that wouldnt help either of us find who we are and make sure we are meant for each other
we would desprately like another option
2006-12-10 04:31:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
since you are mature enough to recognize that this is what is going on be mature enough to each make a separate list of what bothers you about the other and what you like most about the other then compare lists that will help you understand just how much you have each given up of your personality toward the other. If you truly love a person doing what they want is a good thing if it is equally shared but being what they want is dangerous and causes no end of problems. continue to be really honest about who you really want to be and develope something that each of you does without the other being there that gives you some separation that is planned for and that help built trust and mutual respect for who the other person really is if you love her man don't loose he.....r go for it will all your heart.... just don't try to be something that you are not... in the end neither of you will like that as a way to live or I should say as a way to pretend.
2006-12-10 04:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by doc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay just to be clear you are the guy right? okay here goes the fact the neither of you is leading is the reason for the falling apart. every relationship needs some direction and if you cannot stand up and slowly work toward a common goal that brings your partner with you then things will tend to fall apart. be a leader make the hard choice and move on thats what leaders do they make choices that maybe arent the best for the individual but best for everyone. so if you think that you can help each other find out what you want and have that happen with in a careing loving relationship then great but look down the road and see if it has a future based on what you know for sure about your partner and yourself.
2006-12-10 12:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about each of you speak to the other honestly about what your life used to be like before you started breathing each others air?
You both need to revisit any interests you had that you have perhaps neglected since you became involved with each other.
Reacquaint yourselves with your friends and family, and spend some time with them without each other. Go out by yourselves, and then together with friends. Start appreciating each others differences. Its okay to be your own person.
2006-12-10 12:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely take a break...this will give you and your gf time to think....personally I think you should break up....if you are just going to pretend to be happy to please the other person then you are just miserable not happy. I know you lover her but just think of how this relationship will look five years from now...I don't see a healthy one...but it's not for me to decide....but you should take a break.
2006-12-10 12:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by Han Solo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try working on just giving up and trying 2 change the other person, u cant change a person, if u like them, like them for who they are not who they could become
2006-12-10 12:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by shortsagitarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a break. see if something better is out there. if not, you have your true love.
2006-12-10 12:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by Flutie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋