What do I do about my family?

Question

My sister and I are not talking to my mother and brother since my father died. My mother has signed over all her assets to my younger brother (2 mill.) My brother talked her into it, because he is her favorite. The worst part is they kept it a secret for 6 years. When we found out, by mistake neither of them tried to rectify it and don't care that we are hurt. In the six year period of the secret, I myself built my brother a large house for his family to live in (at cost - and saved him at least $400K). My sister and I both have families with children who will not receive any inheritance because of this. Now that it is holiday, they still want to spend it with us, but we don't want any part of them. It not about the money, it's about the deceit and the hurt. My younger brother is living off of my mother's money and he is jealous of me and my sister. He just wants us to accept the situation and we can't. His wife is rude and abusive to our mother and he does not care. He controls her.

Answer 1

You are directing most of your anger towards your brother.
He must be very good at manipulating others. Not just your mother, but you too, to help build his home!

I'd get together with mom and you and your sister have a list already made up to make your mother see his manipulation.

A part of your anger is the money. You can't say it's not!

Stopping all ties to your brother I can understand, but if your mom was manipulated just like you, I really think you should give her one more chance.

Answer 2

MamaBear is right!!! They can't do something like that and expect you 2 to sit back and accept it. If you do, it will continue with more secrets etc. figuring that you 2 will be ok with it. Tell them that the 2 of you will spend Christmas with each other and they can spend Christmas with themselves. They deserve each other and you and your sister will be better off without them.

Answer 3

wow that sounds like my family I have 4 sisters and 1 brother, that has not talked to my mom since my dad died and that was 22 years ago., LIfe is to short, you only have one mother, no matter what flaws she has , love her. The inheritance should not matter, tell them what you think, be honest. but don't ignore your mother, its not her fault that your brother is controlling her, for your brother tell him you don't like how he is controlling your mother, and and stop doing him favors, let him do it himself.maybe it will teach him how to live on his own two feet. and tell his wife that she is to stop abusing your mother, or she will have to talk to the courts. Your mother needs you. I just wish that i could get my family back together and i tried, but im not dwelling on it. good luck, remember you only have one mother do something before its too late.

Answer 4

it so true you have your reason to be ma want you should do i spend Christmas with your sister but just think about that your mother how much you and your sister don't talk to he she always going to be your mother and inside of her she feels bad of what i happened because believe it or not your mother love you and your sister and maybe she don't show it but she really love the both of you.i also think that you and your sister should confront your sister because your mom is probably sacred to confront him and she need help so go and talk to your mom so you could have a feeling that you always try to help her and you and your sister is going to be the bigger person.

Answer 5

you need to tell her that you don't want anything to do with either of them for the fact that they kept it a secret and didn't tell you. plus you might not want to take it out on your mom because she did lose her soulmate and best friend. so you decide . good luck!

Answer 6

Spend christmas with your sister and her family. Let them spend it together, they deserve each other. What they did was wrong.