My sister is an....?

Question

alcoholic and drug addict. She has 2 kids ages 5 & 8. Last summer my husband and I ended up with her kids for 3 months because we called DCFS on her. She has a bad habit of leaving for several days at a time and we always get the kids dropped in our lap from someone else. I love my neice and nephew very much and I also love my sister......BUT......she needs help and this is not good for her kids. How do I help her to realize what she's doing to her kids and to the rest of the family?? Should I call and turn her into DCFS again?? What are foster homes like?? I heard some bad things about them?? The end of the rope is here and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this. Would they go to a foster home? Would the kids be split up? I feel sick about all this and so in the middle of it all. I'm tired and weary. Any suggestions would be nice. Thanks.

Answer 1

You have a complex situation on your hands and you need to always remember to act in the best interest of the children.
I know that can be hard because it is your sister, but the children come first.
Although drugs and alcohol is an addition it is also an illness and your sister needs help, but the down side to that is you can't make her get help.
She will one day get help, But it will be when SHE is ready. That is the only real way the help will work. A possible suggestion would be that you petition the court for custody and if that is not a responsiblity that you want to take on then you need to talk with family or friends and see if they want to raise them and if not you need to look into foster homes for the child.
No matter what the case maybe if the children's safety is being comprimised you need to contact child protection services and maybe just temporialy place them with you.
There is NO real way to say what a foster home would be like because each is different, as to each is a seperate home. What I can say about foster homes is that in most states they have to take a training class and a home study would be done and most of the times the family/home has had other foster child on a temporay basis.
As far as the kids being split up there is that possibilty but you can always request that they stay togther in the placement and they will look for a home that would take the both of them. Most social workers try to keep the childrn together.
I think it is unfair to say all foster homes bad, because their are still some good ones. You just need to do your research.

Answer 2

First of all you need to get those kids away from her; their situation is not good. Perhaps you can go to Social Services, and or a special chapter that deals with this sort of problem and talk to them about your concerns for the children. Yes their are foster homes that are not so good, and there are those that are really good. Last of all your sister is lucky to have you for a sister and I hope that she realizes the enough is enough and yes I would call the DCFS. Another thought is if you are able take temporary custody of her children, then for sure you'll know they are safe. Whether or not the kids will be split up I have no idea, so that is why I suggested if possible you take custody, you or another member of your family if possible. Your sister has a very serious problem and it has to be addressed.
Good luck

Answer 3

You need to do what is best for the kids, no matter how much it hurts. Why are you asking about foster homes? The first thing the county would do is ask if any family wants them. If you kept the kids out of the foster system that would be better for the kids and your sister. Let your sister heal in rehab and not worry about the kids. She is numb from the dope, she doesn't care right now, at least she doesn't show it. Her habit is preventing her from being any kind of parent or role model. she needs help and fast. For her and her kids. If you are unable to keep the kids, do your best to support the family who gets them, stay in contact with the kids, remind them it is not their fault and that hopefully their mom will get better. Try your hardest to get custody of them while she proves to the court her intentions, do what's right for all involved.
God Bless

Answer 4

I would make sure someone in the family is willing to take the kids before I called DCFS. That is your blood. I hope you don't let them get taken and put into foster homes.

Answer 5

i think you SHOULD call DCFS on her again. but if she doesn't want to change any help that you give her will not make a difference so turn her in and let her learn from her mistakes.
on the kids, pleeeez don't let them go to a foster home. get custody of them and keep them. their mother obviously doesn't care about them nobody will love them like you do so keep them and show them how to be good loving human beings. right now those kids need more of your love and attention than your sister does, so turn her in and let God help her find her way. in the mean time show those kids that their aunt loves them very much and will not abandon them.
please keep me posted will help in any way i can.

Answer 6

Shes on dope...getting her clean is gonna be hard she gonna want to get help..but if she cant stop for her kids chances are she wont stop at all....the longer the kids are exposed to this lifestyle the more its gonna effect them in the long run..not to mention the dangers of this lifestyle presents....strange people at all hours...the coma toast sleeping on a come down...and the method she getting her money for the drugs...pawning of personal items...sleeping for the drug....but putting the kids in a foster home that's a hard one.....family is family...they can be adopted you may never see them again..if you don't have the means to take care of them what about other family members....can they take them in??or help out???if not these kids are in for a rough life unless they can get adopted be a good family...........

Answer 7

why dont you tell her she needs help. if she denies then call up dr phil or something and they will get her into the treatment she needs. ALSO you said that you had the kids why dont you take them FOR GOOD!!! if she doesn't get the help. yeah i have heard really bad things about foster homes and stuff. but there are great people out there to. oh and to your question most of the time kids will get SPLIT UP! good luck and keep up the good work for looking out for your sis and her kids!

Answer 8

why does foster homes have to bean issue?? once i read that i changed my perception of you "loving ur neice & nephew" not that u would care huh? couldnt u love them enough to offer them a good, loving home?? well chances r they will be split up, or abused any # of things under the care of complete strangers..how about this~ have ur sista put away into a program "free" of course contact ur local counseling cener/mental health & seewhat assistance they have available, b/c u being her sister have the authority to have her put into a program to help her with her adiction & shortcomings as a parent, they will keep her anywhere from 60days-6mos, but the upside is they will also assist her with daily living & 12step programs, look into that & once that is taking care of i think perhaps u & hubby can look after the babies, it will all be worth it & everyone can & will be happy~ good luck & best wishes..

Answer 9

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Answer 10

wouldn't it be better if your neice and nephew were in your care instead of a stranger? There could be a chance that they will split up and get abused by a foster family.