he was on the lookout.Year passed, only 3 people came forward: a Japanese, Chinese and Jewish samurai. The Emperor asked the Japanese samurai to demonstrate why he should be the chief. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bee dropped dead, chopped in half. The Emperor exclaimed, "Velly implessive!" The Emperor then called on the Chinese samurai to come in and show why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into 3 small pieces. The Emperor exclaimed, "Velly, velly implessive!" Turning to the Jewish samurai, asking why he should be the chief. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around. The Emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Velly ambitious, but why is gnat not dead?" Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision not meant to kill."
2006-12-10 03:44:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding
meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."
Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah (good thing) within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man?
"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the rabbi."
"Why not?" asks the man?
"Could lead to dancing."
2006-12-10 03:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hehehhehehhehehhe!!! That's the funniest joke i've heard today!! 12/10!!!!
2006-12-10 03:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by funmzire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good 1 and hv'nt heard it b4 10/10
2006-12-10 04:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a good one larry havent heard it before10/10
2006-12-10 03:50:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL, I like it, but did he get chosen?
10 out of 10 larry:))
2006-12-10 03:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is that the end of it?
2006-12-10 04:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did not get it til five seconds later, it just hit me
2006-12-10 03:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hehe like it
2006-12-10 15:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by ellen b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
great joke lol
2006-12-10 03:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Cynical 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
great
2006-12-10 03:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by CLARABELLE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋