I have four children two have left home and two still live with me..I'm a singel mum so I have trouble making ends meet some weeks....My older two have there own place together and work full time,, but they are alway skink and asking to borrow money i am getting deeper into dept over this but i can't say no to them,,as they always promise to pay back and go on and on till they get it ,, I feel i'm losing it sometimes as i have no one to turn to for help and surport,,Please give advice as im sure there are parents out there with the same problem
2006-12-10 03:41:52 · 29 answers · asked by sophie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have said NO so many time's ..they leave me alone for a while and i start picking up ,,then they are back like a rubber ball and catch me unaware again,, they are good at it and they are very good at reading my moods
2006-12-10 03:51:20 · update #1
You just say it like you just did.....
You tell them you would LIKE TO, but you CAN'T!!!
2006-12-10 03:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i have three kids and i don't allow them to have every thing they want.Once you start they would always expect it.You have to live your life as well to be able to take care of your family.I don't know the ages of your children but they need to respect you and back off give you the chance to make ends meat.What i mean is there is only one you and you can only do for so much.You can still show a child you love them,and make them understand that they can always come to you not only for money.You are not a bank and if they borrow money from you that means to pay it back.If they don't pay it back i won't give them no more until they pay me back.Don't worry if they get mad because you have to think about number one first that is you.We as parents can't take care of our family with out taking care of our selves.If your kids love you then they should understand what you are going through and back you up all the way.Also pray to God he answers prayers he knows us better than we know our selves.We love our children but we must make sacrifices in life,life is how you live it.You don't want to live your life always given in to your children,just say no and stick with it.No matter if they cry or say stuff you don't,like you have to learn to not be so easy we lived our lives so we know how hard it is in life.
2006-12-10 16:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by school_chili_blue 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them until they have paid you back what they have borrowed before it is no.
Show them how much debt you are in because of them and ask them how they are to help you pay it back!
And when you get yourself out of debt - no more lending! Think of how much interest you will save not getting into debt and how less stressed you are.
If your children don't have any children of their own, remind them you still have to think of your other 2 children. If they do have their own children help them understand that you are in the same position only you have no one to rely on at all!
2006-12-10 13:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a lot of single mothers about nowadays. You are paying the price for that kind of lifestyle. Since the old values of society have been degraded, the chickens are coming home to roost. There is nothing you can do , and things can only get worse.
2006-12-10 11:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by Tracker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathise...it's always hard to say no to your children, but the time comes when you have to...I know it's not easy, but if you're getting deeper and deeper into debt, sit down and tell the older ones they are being selfish and inconsiderate, it's hard enough for you to support yourself and your two other children..if they have any sense of responsibility they will understand...if they don't, then they have to grow up and start acting their ages..
2006-12-10 11:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by murphy51024 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No is a complete sentence. They are out on their own and work full time? They have enough money to make ends meet, assuming they don't have children of their own. You need to be the adult here and say no, you're on your own, and it's time you started earning the money you need. You have financial needs of your own and you can't spend your cash trying to finance their lives too.
2006-12-10 11:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have a daughter who left home and now lives with her boyfreind ,he does'nt know what work is and they are always asking for money ,i have now got to the stage where i just say NO .If her boyfreind and my daughter can't go and get a job to earn money ,i'm sure i am not going to provide for them ,after all ,it was my daughter who wanted to leave home to set up house on her own .I f your children are big enough and old enough to shoulder the responsabilty of living alone then they should be big enough and responsable enough to earn the money to pay for it and give you a rest from dipping in to YOUR pocket .
2006-12-12 17:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by ALLAN B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok let me help you out here.. my mom has been a single mom since i was 12 and my sister was 7... i have always been very independent and at one time my independence got me into some financial trouble.. unless your kids are going to starve to death (which i highly doubt is what they want the money for) i wouldn't give it to them... tell them to get a job and take on some adult responsibility if they were able to move out and be on their own they should be able to take care of themselves.. if you keep helping them out they will end up back under roof and you will be in even more trouble.. tell them you love them but you just financially can't afford it they are adults and should be able to understand that
2006-12-10 11:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by ypsilady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say no or attach incredibly demanding conditions to the deal! In fact make it as horrible as possible for them if you cave in! Start borrowing from them. If they work full time and have their own place maybe it's time that THEY help you out.
2006-12-10 16:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by Stef 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they're working full-time they really shouldn't be asking you for money. Explain to them that you're struggling and really can't help them for much longer. They should understand. Do some things for when they come round, like make sure your fridge is empty, no milk for their coffee etc to let them see you're skint - the message should soon sink in.
2006-12-10 11:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it is easier said than done, but you really just have to say 'no'.
You've fallen for their lies, now you should be wise enough to learn from your mistakes.
You may think you are being cruel, but in fact you are teaching your kids a vaulable lesson in life. You can't have what you cannot afford.
Finally you have two kids that are depending on you to keep a roof over their heads!
2006-12-10 14:17:20 · answer #11 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋