My name only is on the lease? Would child protective services/police remove 14 yo step son from my apartment?

Question

I sponsored my husband’s 14 yo son from a 1st marriage to come to the USA from an impoverished African country due to both his parent’s request that I do so "to give him a much better life”. 1st week here stepson was hateful and contemptuous towards me, openly mocked me in his language and English and told me “Most Americans are stupid and greedy people.” SS's father either accused me of lying or just did nothing! He refuses to give letters to us from his teachers and vice versa saying it’s “not your business what I do in school”. Last night I asked him to go to his room b/c he was mocking me repeatedly. He said, “You want to make me?!” I grab him, he pushed me, I put him out. His father, yelled at him for a minute, telling me later that we will "probably need to divorce" due to this. No one has the $$ to leave for 3 mo. Today SS is same. Glaring at me contemptuously, talking over me when I speak, etc. can I have him removed by a child-protection agency...? Law Enfocement? It's my apt.

Please no more dumb answers. I've had enough.

Answer 1

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting a teenager.
This is not your child and you should not be disciplining him, that is his father's job. If dad doesn't want to do it then it is between you and dad, not you and the son.
You may want to remind each of them that if it wasn't for you that the son would still be living in Africa, and because of that fact he needs to respect you. He doesn't have to like you, but he does need to respect you.
Having the child removed may result in the child being sent back to Africa. Since you are his sponsor and you don't even want him in your home, why would the government want him in the country.
Again this type of behaviour is very common in teens no matter where they are from.

Answer 2

Someone is sounding very judgmental. Why are you jumping to conclusions? Oh right, simple and understandable answer to that- he is your son. However, one invitation to harmless game of tennis right next door and you automatically assume he is predatory. Let your son do it; if you're uncomfortable, then supervise. If you need to, just explain that you're not comfortable with your son being alone with him yet since you barely know him. It's perfectly reasonable. There was no indication of grooming in any part of the story that you have given us, nor proof that the man is homosexual. He smiled and tried talking to him; is it a crime to be a friendly neighbor? If I turn out to be wrong, then I will humbly apologize for my complete misinterpretation of the situation. But until then, loosen up a bit.

Answer 3

at 14 he's not too big to pull over your lap and deliver some well deserved swats.
If the brat assaults you (pushing counts), call the police to remove him, at least temporarily, he might be a little nicer after a couple days in a juvenile detention center, CPS won't get involved unless its to protect the ss, not you, if this doesn't work, withdraw your sponsorship and get the little ingrate deported.
with the hubby, you'll probably have to go through eviction proceedings. It doesn't matter that your's is the only name on the lease, he has "established residence"

Answer 4

Dont give up- you were wrong to thing the transition for him would be easy. Seriously, go read some discipline books on kids. He needs BOUNDARIES. A good book is boundaries for kids... Anyways- if he refuses to show you papers from school on his progress... then you just say, "ok fine, then I will go call your teacher and have a meeting with her so I can find out what's going on". you are letting him run your household and he knows this. you are letting him get away with whatever he wants and he knows this so he is doing it.

And where would he go if you kicked him out? And does your husband know you want his son kicked out? You will only hurt him more and make things worse for the child--

It's like your marriage-- you made a 'promise' that you would stick with him through good or bad.. Kids are the same way- wether they are your own biological children, adopted OR STEP CHILDREN... you can't be selfish and throw in the towel and just kick them out when it gets too hard..

Answer 5

If yours is the only name on the lease in most states you, have the right to have ss and his father removed from the apt, if father can't support your right to be respected in your own home he and the unruly child should either get right or get out. But the legal answer is if your name is on the lease it is your house and local law enforcement will remove anyone you choose by issuing a criminal tresspass warning and if the person returns they will be taken to jail.

Answer 6

This boy has been completely disrespectful to you from the beginning. You may have sponsored him to come to this country, but he is not your child, he is your husband's. Your husband is allowing his son to run the show and to treat you badly. There is no excuse for that. This boy obviously needs discipline, and your husband is refusing to give it to him...and what's worse, he's threatening to divorce you for stepping in to do his job. I would tell your husband that he needs to find a hotel or other living arrangements for himself and his son for a few days until they can both treat you with the courtesy and respect you deserve.

Answer 7

Change the locks and put their stuff out. You don't need that kind of nonsense. Husband and son both need to go home.

Stop the situation now before it gets worse and you become financially liable for damage the child does outside of the home.

Good luck!

Answer 8

the laws of your state determine what you can do. contact the department of children and families. they will be able to explain what you can or can't do. good luck. you shouldn't have to put up with that in your own home.

Answer 9

Ask a lawyer.

Answer 10

why did u get married