When my kids are around, she doesn't want to see me, but she says that she loves me and simply can't deal with children in general. What should I do?
2006-12-10 02:54:02 · 49 answers · asked by pank1024 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should accept how she feels...and then leave it up to her. You have kids..two people who are a part of you ..who you should never feel as though you never have to choose between. Most assuredly times will come up that she will feel jealousy over the time you spend with them..times she will feel as though you are choosing them over her--and you Will be because she is setting you up for this. You and your children area apckage deal..all..or nothing. Your kids Need to feel this too, that no matter what and no matter who..that they will never lose you and that you love them No Matter What. It's a very sad and hurtful thing to realize that someone you love can't accept your children. I know, because I've been there. No one has the right to put someone they say they love in the position of feeling put in the middle of the very people they love most in the world. Just my opinion..with a heavy heart-I would let her go. Because that pain is far less and far less in healing from than the pain of hurting your children and the relationship you have with them. Children are ours forever..so is the love, the joy and the pain. You would regret choosing her over them...but you will Never regret choosing them over her. Take good care.
2006-12-10 03:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by kleinhead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't deal with children in general? Well, how do expect to have a long, loving relationship with her if she never wants to be around your kids? If "no children" was a requirement for her, she should have looked for a man with the same. You might love her but you're children should come first. If she loves you the way she claims, she needs to accept your children. It seems the only choices are minimal, she needs to accept them, or you need to move on. It might hurt moving on, but you and your kids deserve someone that will accept and love you all.
I'm in a similar situation - but with my husband. Had I known13 years ago he never wanted children, I would have never married him. I'm 32, with 2 kids, and getting divorced because of the man I have loved, never wanted to be a dad and just can't do it anymore. It hurt, but my kids are first, and they deserve a better life. Moving on sucks, because now I'm a divorced 32 year old mom of 2... not many men find that attractive. So now lonely seems like forever... but I'll live.
2006-12-10 03:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself do u really love this girl and can u see yourself married to her? Then ask her the same about u if the answers are yes then she will just have to deal with your kids and she really doesn't hate kids she hates bad kids we all do so make sure your kids are well mannered and well behaved. And if she loves you and still can't deal with well behaved kids then maybe u should re evaluate the relationship something may be wrong with her. Then again maybe she's the jealous type like most women are and doesn't want to be around u and your kids because they take away attention from her so be mindful of that also. let me know how it works out just be careful
2006-12-10 03:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by babygirl_sdh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump her.. You and your kids are a package deal. I don't see this relationship evolving into marriage or anything, because that would require you living together, and your kids would be there.. I don't think that would be a good place for your kids, around someone who doesn't like them... C'mon get with a woman who loves children.. you owe it to your kids.....They have to be loved by the person your with...
2006-12-10 02:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by Indymom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that part of loving you would include accepting your children. If she can't accept your children, what is going to happen if you decide to take your relationship to the next level?? If you live together, is she going to leave when your kids are over? I think that if she can't make the compromise of being cordial and involved with your children, you should dump her.
2006-12-10 02:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it to her straight up... you and your children are a package deal and if that doesn't suit her she needs to move on... those kids will be with you for the rest of your life... women come and go... don't choose her over these kids... show her where your priorities are and if she really cares... she'll get over her dislike for kids... hope this makes ence and good luck...
2006-12-10 02:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but a woman not liking children? I don't think it's natural. However, at least she's honest about it. I believe you have to make a choice.What do you want to do in the long run? My thoughts are that if she really loved you, automatically she would also love your children. Good luck to you.
2006-12-10 02:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by maryc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids should be top priority. You need to find a girl who likes kids. This girl will be jealous of your attention for your kids. She will not understand where you're coming from (your point-of-view) regarding things because she has no kids. As a lady, she will want to be your #1 priority, nothing less.
I wonder why she chose a guy with kids.
2006-12-10 02:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness, if she loved you she would accept your kids! Simple as that!
If she TRUELY loves you, she will make sacrifices for you. What does she want you to do? Get rid of your children?!
Your kids should come b4 your girlfriend.......always remember that.
As 4 the gf....try to get her to adjust to the kids. If they are young, I'm sure they'll like her easily. She needs to reach out to them.
Good Luck! ;-)
2006-12-10 02:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Charming's Princess♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usally if a girl likes you then she should love everything about you even your children and if she does not like your children than she is not the girl for you. you will find someone that loves you and your kids. so dump her and find someone who is a lover of kids.
2006-12-10 03:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋