Can someone please help me.....I hate my mom.?

Question

I'm 21 years old getting ready to finish college, and work on my master, i have two jobs paid jobs and an internship as well as school. This is a big accomplishement for me. My brother and sister aren't doing **** with there lives, and my mom treats them better than me, !!!! She calls me all types on names in the book for no reason. My brother still lives at home at 28 she would do anything for him. The only thing I have ever asked her was to take me grocery shopping when I was little low on cash and she wound't do it. When I was young in college she took, my cell phone away from me, so nobody would call me and so i can't call anyone in case of an emergency.
I HATE HER SO BAD. THIS IS SO MEAN, BUT IF SOMETHING WAS TO HAPPEN I WOULDN'T SHED A TEAR. SHE HAS DID THIS TO ME A MOST MOTHERS WOULD BE PROUD OF THEIR KID WHAT WOULD YOU DO NEXT AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? SHE IS JUST A ***** FOR NO REASON

Answer 1

Sounds like you have your act together.And they don't keep doing what your doing in school. And get your masters,when your done with school and have a great job, and can afford what you want,you will truly be from from your family. And then you can choose what kind of relationship you want with your family. Chances are they will be coming to you for help. Pay backs a @#$%. Good Luck...

Answer 2

You two have a pretty rotten relationship, it's true, but obviously you still rely on her to some extent, or she wouldn't have the power to take your cell phone away from you. When you become financially independent you can choose to talk to her as much or as little as you want. Look forward to that day!

In the meantime, remember that your mother isn't you; she went through very different experiences that made her what she is today. Perhaps her ideas about what a woman should be like are different from yours - maybe she expects you to be doing the 'right thing' by getting married and being a stay at home mother, and so finds your college education a needless drain on the family's finances. Maybe she hopes for grandchildren and is impatient with you. Maybe she blames your birth for the problems in her relationship with her husband. Maybe your siblings know how to manipulate her! She could be bitter and angry about her life and attacks you because she knows you won't put up a fight. Who knows?

Years from now, you may be lucky enough to have a heart-to-heart chat with your Mom about this, and I hope on that day you can both come closer together for it.

Answer 3

Without knowing what her educational background is, it could very possibly be that she envy's your life, and the fact that you have the motivation and drive to have a better life than she does. What was your relationship like before you left home to go to college? Something drastic happened between the two of you, and she is now being resentful and retaliating against you however she can. Your brother and sister have made no effort to better themselves, and as far as your mother is concerned, she can still be a driving controlling force in their lives. You- on the other hand, have become independant and moved from her grasp of control, so she acts out negatively towards you.

What you really need to do is communicate how you feel to your mother. You will never understand where she is coming from, unless you sit down and talk with her, as a rational, grown-up adult that you've become. If she still refuses to treat you with an ounce of respect, maybe it's time to cut ties with her for a while, until she realizes that what she is doing, is very wrong and demeaning.

By the way, congratulations on continuing your education, and making the effort to provide yourself with a better life.

Answer 4

You don't need her approval anymore. You should be damned proud of your accomplishments and if she doesn't show it, that's her problem. One day you should confront her and tell her how you feel and how she has hurt you. It's hard to do but it works and if she's still a ***** about it, then you just shut her out until she gets the message and she will one day. It took me 3 years of not talking to my mother but now she treats me better than my siblings because she sees what she did wrong and she knows I wont take her crap anymore. Good luck dear. You've done good and don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise! Now, go and have a great life!

Answer 5

With your level of education you should know to confront this issue head on; in a logical non attacking mode. Have you ever confronted her expressing to her your feelings and how she treats you so far different? Put her on the carpet so to speak asking her to explain why! I would! I would want one of my adult children to with me as well if I ever acted like this. Maybe she thinks that your brother needs her as he is a loser where you succeeded and you dont. Warped way of thinking I agree but it might be. Schedule a meeting with her, tell her how your feeling and have felt; ask for answers then determine if this is a person that you should shut the door on. I am 51 and believe strongly we do not just get handed love and respect, it is an honor and something earned. Give her one more opportunity.

Answer 6

You have accomplished a lot. way to go. You know what hard times are and how to live with out so you get what you want. When you get out of school just have a get along with her attidude and some distance. It is not good to hate, family esspecially. Talk to your brother and ask him why he thinks she does this but in a nice way as to not make him feel small. She may just fel lik you have abandoned her. Thinking good thoughts don't hurt niether.

Answer 7

This is horrible, and must be very difficult for you to deal with. Yes, you should be very proud of your accomplishments. And if she is not, Oh well! Be very proud of yourself. Keep doing what you are doing and if her attitude does not change. Simply leave her out of your life. I know this sounds horrible, however, it is not worth the stress and strain of trying to have her in your life. You are making major accomplishments and one day very soon, it is all going to pay off. Just remember these things and how you feel when you begin having children, so you wont make the same mistakes. Good luck to you and God bless****

Answer 8

My mom treats my younger sister sooo much better than me. I can't explain why either. I was always better behaved, and my sister used to use drugs. But my mom would always do for her before me. I think I've just come to the conclusion that she feels my sister needs her help more than I do. Maybe your mother feels the same way. You will be successful and she knows this. Don't stoop to her level and hate her, just know you are better than that, and you will be a better mother than she ever dreamed about someday!

Answer 9

It sounds like you have good reason to dislike her. However, there is a chance that she saw how her two older children turned out, figured out that being permissive and loving wouldn't get them anywhere, and decided to try the exact opposite with you to push you.
Either way, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of making your life turn out how you want it to, and are on your way to becoming a very successful person. I would ask her, politely, if there is any reason she has treated you differently. However, she might not answer how you want her to. Just know that you are excelling, and take that as its own reward.

Answer 10

the squeaky wheel gets the grease, ever hear of that. you sound like you have never been the squeaky wheel, so you have never needed any grease. meaning any attention. i feel for ya, i wont go into any personals but my brother still lives off of my mom, and she buys his food and sometime utilites and he has been "away" for awhile, and when he came back she had to have a place for him, but i have been on my own since i was 15, paying my own bills driving nice cars, living in nice houses, cuz i work ALOT, but whenever i get down low and ask, i get the riot act, just sit down and write her a letter about how you feel and mail it to her, whats it gonna hurt, and that way she cant cut you off or tell you why your wrong or anything, she has to sit and read it all!!!!!