Is there a 'Book of Penguins' in the Bible? If so, what does it teach?

Question

Chica: I was raised Roman Catholic and attended Catholic school. You assume too much.

Answer 1

Of course hon! It says specifically to not bear false flippers and to not judge lest be thrown a rotten smelly fish.

Any flightless fowl that blaspheme the holy Emperor penguin shall be cast into the nasty waters created by the Exxon Valdiz, forever and ever.

And many other scriptures I cannot remember at this time.
Blessed by the weak in flight, for they shall inherit the icy waters of the polar regions.

Answer 2

If there is ever a political need for a book of penguins, to influence voters, bring more power to the church, or start a war, you better believe there will suddenly be a "book of penguins" found in a cave in Israel.

Answer 3

No "Book of Penguins" in the Bible unless you are referring to some joke...like

Did you know there was baseball in the Bible...In the Big Inning...

Did you know there were cigarettes in the Bible? ...Rebecca lit off her Camel.

No Book of Penguins unless this is a joke...sounds like a good one. Maybe it teaches something about the "Under" world?

Answer 4

Genesis 3

The Fall of Man

1 Now the penguin was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

2 The woman said to the penguin, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,

3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

4 "You will not surely die," the penguin said to the woman.

5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.

9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"

12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The penguin deceived me, and I ate."

14 So the LORD God said to the penguin, "Because you have done this,
"Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals!
You will walk funny
and you will eat snow
all the days of your life.

Answer 5

No, but there is a publisher called Penguin Books.

Answer 6

How to waddle without sin. Frankly they don't need a bible. They mate for life and the men tend to the eggs while the woman gets food. That's heaven enough for me.

Answer 7

There is no mention of Penguins in the Bible so GOD doesn't exist!!!!! LOL,
I can see it now. "The Penguin Movement"

May GOD richly bless you my fine feathered friend.

Answer 8

Obviously, you've never picked up a Bible in your entire life.

Answer 9

Can penguins even read.

Answer 10

Somebody on this forum asked, "What is worse, a stupid question or a rude answer?" Well I'll forgo the rude answer.