I told my friend I'm a not virgin...?

Question

you see, I'm 22 years old and all my friends are pretty, well, I hate to say it "loose". They use to pick on me all the time because I was a virgin. Finally, when I was about 19/20, I told them I had lost my virginity and I was pretty much sexually active in college. It's all a lie lie lie. I don't know why I did it. I wish I never did. The last time I was with them, I got so drunk that all I had in my mind was the lie I told them. I got so sick just having that in my head. I feel so ashamed. I can't believe I lied to one of my best friends. Sometimes I have a feeling that she really knows, but I'd be so embarrassed if they ever found out. It's not like they would never hang out with me, I would just loose their trust forever. My question is, how do you people cope with big lies that you've told? How can I make sure I never think of that lie when I'm with them? Please help!

If you must know, I'm not a virgin out of any religious reasons...I'm just a very insecure person, and I feel that when guys approach me it's out of pure pitty. Maybe one day, I'll get over it.

Answer 1

There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin, and saving yourself for someone special. And how terrible that you feel that in order to fit in you had to lie about such a major thing. Your sexuality is no ones business but your own, stop worrying about the 'lie' and stand strong in your convictions (even if it is just to yourself!)

Answer 2

I shouldn't worry about it.Your sexuality is a private thing...that's why a private life is called a private life.

I also lied about not being a virgin.I told all my friends that I lost it at 12, which was a biggggg lie.I was a firm believer in no sex outside marriage until I met my current bf.But sometimes you hav to play the game with friends.

Take your time, sex is hugely overrated and we get this idea that its the best ever from American sitcoms and blokes after a quick ****.

Chat later
Love ya Babez
XX

Answer 3

Hi Emily,

there seems to be lots of peer pressure in the teen and early 20s world to have sex. you probably lied because you wanted to fit in. i know how it feels to stick out like a sore thumb.

i am 32 yrs old and still a virgin. much like you, it's not about religion.. it's just that i haven't found the right woman. i want love before sex.

it's sad that your friends picked on you about your virginity.. sounds like you need to get some new friends..

being a virgin is special. you can still save it for the right man. all these other people may hide the truth.. most people who lose their virginity as teens often tell me it was a mistake that they regret.

best thing to do if a friend wants to talk about sex? tell them it is private and personal, and change the subject.

if all they want to do is talk about sex, then again, maybe you need to expand your network of friends and find some people who have a little more class, and aren't just interrested in talking and/or bragging about thier sex life..

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with being a 22 y/o virgin. Your friends were wrong to pick on you. On the other hand, you shouldn't have lied about it either. But since you did, you'll just have to remember everybody lies, sometimes when somebody asks you how they look and they look bad don't you say ok? Some lies are harmless and this is one of them. Little white lies...

Answer 5

Well if that is the biggest lie you have ever told then you are doing good. Since it worries you so much you should tell your friend. After all many people lie about this at some point in their life. However, I can almost guarantee they do not really think about what you told them.

Answer 6

Coping with your lies...hmmmmm............ think about the reasons you lied and what you accomplished at the time. Sometimes people have no choice and need to so as to get out of an embarrasing situation. You have no need to feel embarrassed or justify what you did to anyone else. And besides, if that, not being a virgin, is criteria for frindship, who needs it? Maybe you'd do better to ask yourself the value of their frendship, ya think?

Answer 7

First, don't allow yourself to get so drunk that you forget yourself and just talk, talk, talk. Always be in control of what you say. Next- do all your friends know EVERYONE you know. How can they check if you had sex with anyone? Do they keep you locked up? Do they film you wherever you go? You could of had a one-night-stand with a stranger, (although i don't recommend this).

Answer 8

Why would they pick on you because you're a virgin? If they are true friends then they should respect what you want and not wish you to be like them. I don't think they can be considered true friends if they keep on acting like that.

Answer 9

There is no way that she can find out that you lied so stick with your story and it will be OK.Don't keep worrying about it as you have not hurt anybody it is a harmless white lie

Answer 10

my buddy Gandhi said dont lie and that will be the only solution. but for now tell you friends the that you lie to them and they will understand. now you are not lieing. good luck!!!