My 6 year old son is keep hiting me and his dad and throwing a tantrum when we are grounding him or sending him in his room. What can we do to stop this?
2006-12-10 01:29:23 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Hope this helps - positivediscipline.com
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2006-12-10 01:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say how stern are you with him? Not how mean or how loud you yell. And you also have to pick your battles, and of course when he's hiting and/or biting, that's a battle! Also make sure when you punish him and putting him in his room he's not playing while he's in there, or looks at it as, "yes! I got away from..." let's say doing a certain chore! Always remember to continue where you left off. Ex. if he started misbehaving during a time where he was suppose to be cleaning up his room, take him to time out and then afterwards have him continue finishing his chores! The idea is to let him know you're in charge as a parent! Also I think it would be a good idea to have his time out where you can see him and where he can see you and if you have other children and see that when he misbehaves he's missing out on family time or an opprotunity to actually spend time with you. So that's another thing involve him more if you don't already, he's 6! he should be helping with dinner or setting it. And if he has an accident, breaks something, let him know it's ok, don't get mad at him for accidents! And you might also want to teach him the value of his things, not monetary, but how to take care of his things that he loves. If he misbehaves he might loose special tv time or get a toy taken away! And if he cleans up after himself or brushes his teech without being told, he gets it back!
GOOD LUCK
I'm including a link to a Q&A on iVillage.
2006-12-16 02:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by vetsmom_rgv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my 4-1/2 year old. Never his dad, only me. The hitting was a big deal - his father sat him down and had a long talk with him about how it was never, ever okay to hit anyone, and how it made people feel when they get hit. Kids have a good sense of empathy - tell them how they make other people feel and they are more apt to change their behavior. As for the tantrums, let it go. Believe me, I KNOW its hard to do - when someone told me to let the tantrums go I told them they were insane - but it worked for me. They throw tantrums for attention, and acknowledging the tantrum is enough attention to feed it. Ignore a few of them and he'll learn that tantrums aren't worth the energy. Hope it helps...
2006-12-16 18:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not respond by yelling or spanking this gives them attention whether negative or not it is still attention. I found a time out works great. Tell them calmly why they are going to Time out and put them there. It may take several attempts to keep them there but eventually they will get it. If you have to make several attempts don’t speak to them or try to explain anything, you have already done that once, that is enough! They want the conversation to be geared toward them. Don’t give them that pleasure. I run a daycare of my own and find it works well with many different types of behavior. I have had kids that bite, throw tantrums, hit, cheat and don’t share... You name it I have had it. One child I have started hitting his mother but doesn’t’ hit anyone else. She responds by loudly telling him “no” he thought this was cute and turned it into a game. She would get angry and he just won the game. She started putting him in time out with an immediate reason why. She then paid him no attention. He soon became aware it wasn’t a game and stopped within 3 days. If he is 6 then 6 (CALM) min in time out is appropriate. You may think he is past that point but it worked with my 9yr old too. He would mouth off in front of friends and land his behind on the time out chair right then and there. IT WORKS!
2006-12-14 11:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by kayozbun 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are responsible for your child's development. The way he deals with you is how he will deal with others. If he is hitting you and his father then he has no respect for either of you, so more then likely he will not know how to respect others and that is a big problem. You and his father, together, need to let him know that it is not acceptable for him to put his hands on anyone in that way, and be firm. First never hit a child in anger, this is not about hurting its about teaching. When he hits you or his father look him in the eyes, gently take the back of his hand, and give him a real good whack and while telling him "Do Not Hit Me Again" in a voice that is low but strong and when he start to cry leave his do not baby him. If you don't get him straight now it will be to late when he is 15yrs old
2006-12-15 10:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by williamcmiddleton 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hit him back (not hard) but give him a taste of his own medicine. Let him know hitting hurts, after that he should get the picture. Also when he throws tantrums ignore him. Go in your room and play some of your fave tunes. He yells because he knows it helps him gets what he wants, and get attention. Children are smarter than we think.
2006-12-14 23:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by kinkyafro22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try sending him to his room for 6 min.(1min for every year of his life) Be firm without yelling and tell him why he is being punished.(keep it short and simple) Use a timer, let him know that when he hears the timer go off he can come out and apologize for his actions. Hopefully you and your husband are working as a team. If he notices one gives in or is inconsistent that may be sending mixed signals. So back each other up, so he will know neither of you is giving in to his bad behavior. Good luck.
2006-12-17 21:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by nun ya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I find is working with my 7 yr old, 6 yr old and 3 yr old, is I let them throw their tantrum and do what they are going to do. Then, I take however many toys I need to to pay for the damage that they did. (Mommy's arm hurts...I need an icepack that costs about $6.00....I take 6 toys to pay for it-dollar store mentality, hole in wall costs about $12 Need to pay for spackle, paint, brushes if you need them). Yes it seems steep but PUTTING holes in the walls and hurting parents is STEEP! I keep these toys... and donate them to a cause or, throw them out. They have to learn that actions have reactions. And at 6 yrs old, Money and possessions are HUGE motivators. Hope this makes sense. Try to avoid fave possessions if possible. (After all you don't want an enemy for life lol)
2006-12-16 03:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you spare the rod you spoil the child.
the BIBLE speaks on disobedience by spanking them so why won't you do so.
I'm not saying beat your child but that's not a good sign for your child to be hitting his parents.
If you're going to punish him you must do that and stop feeling guilty.
It's either do it now or never.....your son will do this as he gets older then teenage years, you may be in the hospital or anything.... you may not think it's serious but it has many parents afraid of their children please don't be one!!!!
you have to take charge and be the parent and stop letting your child be the parent.
REAL TALK........TT 12/15/06
2006-12-15 22:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by TT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son is 3 and has started hitting as well when he has a temper tantrum i go into the next room and make him think that i am ignoring him i sneak my head round the door to check on him every so often soon stops then
hope that helps good luck hun
2006-12-14 10:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's in charge here?
I wouldn't and I didn't tolerate that behavior.
Are you going to let him continue being a tyrant at 6?
Keep it up....I promise you you'll be going to Juvenile Detention by the time he is 10. And, that is only the beginning. If he does not respect you he won't respect anyone. Keep it up or show him just who is boss. You better hope it is not too late.
2006-12-15 22:52:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋