On average, how close does an emotionally healthy uncle get towards a newborn niece and nephew? i.e. how often do they visit, do they get involved with the nitty gritty? (changing nappies) and what is the bond like? I'm finding it difficult to establish an emotional bond towards my new niece and nephew (they haven't done anything wrong to me). Its a horrible sensation as I feel I can't convey "family love" towards them. To me, they're just babies, and normally I try to avoid babies. I have tried to take an interest in them but I'm really struggling. It seems like a lot of hard work, and yet I'm not feeling anything.
One person says I'm normal, as they never got involved with their niece/nephews. Someone else says I need to play an active part e.g. babysitting, doing nappy changes, holding and cuddling them etc.
I hope the above makes sense!
2006-12-10 01:25:59 · 16 answers · asked by nemesis 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you do not feel that close to the baby then that,s OK some people are just not baby people
2006-12-10 01:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never expect too much from yourself. These emotions and affections that you would like to convey towards your newborn niece and nephew should come out naturally. You are struggling because you think too much about your responsibilities towards them. Learn to appreciate and love everything about them(how they smile or laugh everytime you make funny faces at them; study their faces if what attributes they have look more like their dad or mom). When situation arises that you need to play an active part like babysitting and chaning nappies, et al...hey there is always the first time, you will learn these things. I believe that family love can be conveyed if you get yourself involved even in the most simplest task. So have fun with them and enjoy being an uncle.Good luck.
2006-12-10 02:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by paul_sokor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am quite close to my niece and nephew. Dominique is 10 and Andrew is nearly 2. It is harder to form an early bond because babies don't do anything really, other than eat, wet themselves and cry. The little moments will get you, like the first time they fall asleep in your arms or when they try to say your name (nunkie), or when they start to show interest in something you can teach them. Kids are really great and they can make you laugh and feel like a kid yourself again. I do think that the more time you spend with them the stronger your bond will be, but it could just be that you are not very good with kids. I only see the kids on weekends, sometimes 2 weeks apart. I think that that is a good amount of time for an aunt or uncle to see them.
2006-12-10 01:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be tricky when they are little babies because they don't do a lot - you said you usually avoid babies. However, I think you might find if you take the time to give them a cuddle and try talking to them too, you may find that the bond is there.
I was a little nervous of babies too at the start, but now I worship my 4 year old nephew and 18 month old niece, and they worship me back.
Give it a go, you might surpise yourself! Good luck.
2006-12-10 01:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by Funky Little Spacegirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very normal. My son is in California & his two nephews are in Michigan. They see each other once a year. Very seldom talk on the phone. But the boys absolutely love to hear from him.
Just let them know you are there. Especially when they are older.Take them to the movies or McDonald's etc. You will develop a "bond". Maybe just not a tight one.
2006-12-10 01:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are perfectly fine. Your job as an uncle is to be there for them if they need any advice. To occasionally bring them gifts or take them to a movie. There is no set guideline for the minimum amount of times you must show up per week and how many diapers you must change. Relax and enjoy being an uncle.
2006-12-10 01:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by kwightman69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These children are not YOUR children. But do respect them. You could sit them AT TIMES- you could get involved somewhat- then say goodbye. You can bring them gifts at B'days, Christmas , and other times when you see them, but NOT EVERY time. You can hold, cuddle, make funny faces, and help, but you are not their parent. Then you say "You made plans to go........ and go. You politely excuse yourself-and sometime in the future, come back and visit some more.
2006-12-10 01:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its easier to bond with them when they are older,,my brother didn't have much to do with mine when they were babies but now they are good friends and meet up for a drink and to watch a match,they have become good friends and look out or each other
2006-12-10 01:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO matter how hard It is, pls try to bond with cuties as much as u can.i dont know if u know about this,but un uncle play a very important role in nieces &naphews.
2006-12-10 03:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't knock yourself out over it. It would probably take being a parent yourself to change your feeling towards kids. Just be nice, buy presents, play with them when they are older. If you aren't comfortable doing stuff, don't do it.
2006-12-10 01:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by GC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋