What is the longest, rudest joke you ever heard?

Question

im sure you wont be reported and im sure that you want to win best answer. so come on and tell me your rudest longest, joke

Answer 1

You tell me yours and i'll tell you mine !

Answer 2

This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches in length. It's function is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually found hung, dangling loosely and ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. When used, it is inserted -- almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly -- into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft. After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

What am I??As you may have already guessed, the answer to the riddle is none other than your very own...



toothbrush.

Answer 3

A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink. He then notices a jar that is
full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for.
The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and "if anyone can make
him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars."

The man says, "I can do it!" So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes
later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes
the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.

About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money.
The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.

The bartender looks at the man and says, "if you can make the donkey cry
the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars." The man says, "ok I'll do it!"

He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes goes by when the bartender hears
the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the
man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?"

The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that
I had a bigger pecker then he did".

"How did you make him cry?" asks the bartender?
"Well I showed him."

Answer 4

95 year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm sample for analysis at the hospital.he turns up 2 days later with an empty jar.the nurse asks why no sample?he says he tried with his right hand,then his left hand,then his wife tried with both hands!then later with her mouth,first teeth in then teeth out.then they got ethel from next doorto try.but it was no good,they just couldn`t get the lid off the jar.

Answer 5

A man fell into a puddle of mud no seriously Blonde - Sir, i pricked my finger, Can i put it in Cider Teacher - Why do you need Cider? Blonde - Everytime my sister has a prick she puts it insider

Answer 6

once there was a man . he got a child . in his first day he gave him a piggi bank as a gift.next year too he gave him a piggibank.next time he asked child what he needed and he asked for a piggibank.
next 10 years he went on getting a piggibank as a gift.
now he got a girlfriend from whome also he always had a piggibank.on his marriege , his each b'day ,his marriege annuiversary, his promotion day, and every day he used to celebrate he used to get a plenty of piggibank.now time came he was going to get died.and the day came.
he was on the bed .in his last momentz his father what was such a reason he always demanded a piggibank.
the child said- i did so becoz...becoz...becoz...bec aaaaaaah





and he dead

Answer 7

Sam is 7 year old innocent kid. One morning while playing at his parents master bedroom, he heard his dad shouted, "Oh Cu.nt!!" inside the toilet. He quickly went inside the toilet and saw his dad's cheek bleeding. His dad cut himself while shaving his facial hair. Worried his son might learn the vulgar word "cu.nt", he lied to Sam saying that "cu.nt" means "facial hair" and reminded him not to use the word. He then told Sam to get the medicine from Sam's Mom at the kitchen.

On his way down the stairs he heard his Mom shouted, "Ah f*ck!!" Curious, he went to see his Mom. His Mom had cut her fingers while cutting the chicken. Feeling embarrased, she lied to Sam saying that "f*ck" means "cut" and he should not use the word again. Awhile later, the phone rang, its Sam's Grandpa. As he had not met Sam's family for years, he asked the well-being of Sam's parents. Anxious to show-off the "new" words he had learned from his parents, Sam said, "Well, mommy is in the kitchen f*cking the chicken and dad is in the bathroom shaving his cu.nt.”

Answer 8

It is too long and rude to tell here!

Answer 9

any version of the aristocrats