What do you think of gay men adopting - is it better to adopt a boy or a girl child?

Question

I am thinking from the child's perspective.

Answer 1

i had this conversation with a friend not too long ago. he said gay couples period should not adopt. personally i feel like with all the unwanted babies in this world it's much better to have two loving parents of the same sex than no parents at all. i don't guess it matters what the sex of the baby they adopt is but i guess for sake of being made fun of a girl would probably not get picked on for having two gay men as parents as a boy would. if two people can raise a child and love a child then i say who cares at least that's one less child being lost in the foster system for their whole lives.

Answer 2

You don't teach someone how to become a man. You're either born with the male genitalia or female genitalia. It's like teaching someone to be fast, or tall, or caucasian. The question you are asking is very chauvenistic and stereotypical. As many other people have pointed out, single moms have been raising children (boys and girls) forever. I have also seen gay men that have adopted girls. It's a different world these days. It's apparently much more evolved than what you've experienced.

Answer 3

I don't think the gender of the child should be what's important. I think the important thing is that child being given the chance to live a better life than what they would have had--regardless of whether the adoptive parents are gay or straight.

I think what you are really trying to ask here is which is easier--a girl or a boy. Not that raising any child is easy, by any means, but easier in the sense of making the transition less difficult for all of you. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Fathers often run into difficulties in raising girls on their own, because of the the many changes that women must go through during their lives that men are not always knowledgeable about, and/or because they may not know how to broach certain subjects. And the same can be said about mothers that are raising boys. You may find it easier to raise a boy, given that as a male you just naturally have more of an understanding of the male anatomy and the changes that will occur during the preadolescent and adolescent years. However, if you and your partner would like to adopt a girl, that is your choice to make. I would make sure that there is a female around that can be there on standby for any questions or concerns that might pop up (and they will), that you are not able to cover.

I don't agree with those that may feel that gay parents are bad parents or that such an environment is unhealthy for a child to be reared in. When you consider the environment and living conditions that child has came from and the life he or she has most likely already led, then being given the chance to live a better life and with people that will love the child can only be beneficial to that child. Having only one loving parent, or in this case, loving gay parents, is better than having no parents at all or parents that are abusive or neglectful. If two gay men can adopt a child and give that child the love and security they need in a stable home environment and give that child opportunities that he or she otherwise wouldn't have had...that's a wonderful thing. More power to you!

Several years back I was working in a fast-food restaurant when I ran across this family that everyone seemed so curious about (small town--go figure). Upon closer inspection I noticed that this family wasn't what most would consider your "average" family. Instead of a mother and father and their child, this family consisted of two men and a child. I don't know what was more disconcerting to most of the people present that day--the fact that the two men were gay, that they were gay men with a daughter, or that they were gay men with an Asian daughter.

I tried talking to the little girl but she was very shy and reserved so she said very little. But oh, she was beautiful! One of her fathers came up to me and started talking to me, filling me in on the questions I had tried asking but the girl was too shy to answer. She had just turned 6 and her fathers had adopted her when she was just around a year old. She was born in Korea to a poverty-stricken family and her family could not afford to raise her or provide for her with all the children they already had. Her father said that they had traveled to Korea, met this Korean baby girl and instantly the three just fell in love with each other. He knew that they were being given this chance to make a world of difference in this one little girl's life and they both knew in their hearts that this wasn't something they could walk away from.

He said that it was hard at first, and they didn't know how things would be once she was older and her relationship with two fathers was under scrutiny by others, but they would deal with that when it came. All that mattered to either of them was that they loved their daughter and she them, and that they were giving her a new lease on life. A chance to really live and a chance at opportunities she wouldn't have been afforded if she had stayed in Korea. He said that they all make trips back to Korea a couple of times a year, so that she can see her biological family and so that she is exposed to her origins and her culture, but she's always eager to get back home and spend time with her daddies. They had their dessert and left soon after--the little girl holding both of their hands and looking up at both of her fathers lovingly.

I'll never forget my meeting with this little girl and her family. I remember most looking upon them out of curiosity or quiet aversion, but I couldn't help but feeling happy for them. You only had to look at the three of them to know how happy they were, how much they loved each other, and that this little girl was fortunate enough to have found a family--however unconventional--that would provide her with all the things, the life, that she really needed.

Answer 4

I think if the man/men truly love the child and can care for the child then by all means go for it. I don't think it would matter if the child was a boy or a girl.

Answer 5

I am personally against gay relationships. I think it's unhealthy for any child to grow up in such an environment. Don't do it. Put yourself in the child's position-think how you would respond and react to the things you do. A single parent (father) cannot provide all the needed and necessary info and uses a mother does to a daughter. It's only my opinion

Answer 6

All of these answers are fantastic, and may I say it's so refreshing to see maturity here instead of the name calling and insults I've seen in response to many questions on many topics.
I'm not sure the sex of the child matters, either, and I think the suggestion to adopt one of each is excellent.
I wish you both the best of luck and happiness :)

Answer 7

I wouldn't say that it would be "better" to adopt either sex. A child loves its parents unreservedly and if it is brought up to accept same-sex relationships then it won't be a problem for it as it gets older. It will feel comfortable with itself and its parents when it gets to school age, and most likely won't feel embarrassed or ashamed. It is the upbringing and the morals instilled that counts.

Answer 8

I don't think that it matters whether it's a boy or a girl. Think of it, at a time when more kids than ever are being raised by single mothers a girl who is a daddy's girl times two or a boy who has two dads instead of no dad.

Answer 9

It does not matter as a straight mother of 3, I feel as if Boy/Girl it does not matter. You can not make some one gay. And con-grad's there are so many unwanted Babbie's in this world, good for you. Just hope for a healthy one, and don't give a **** what others think!

Answer 10

i dont agree that gays should raise a child. i have nothing against your relationship together at all, i have gay friends, but children need a mother and father, and i am just as against single parents.

... and if you become single parents, who gets the child??? and dont say it will never happen, do you think any other of the single parents thought it would happen.