I love my girlfriend and want to be with her, but her mom is such a royal B****! Her mom controls everything her and her sister's do. She makes them clean, cook, teach her classes (her mom runs her own tutoring business) and even makes her take days off of her own job to teach her mother's classes because her mom decided to go out and find another job somewhere.
When we first started dating about a year ago her mother wanted her to break up with me and badmouthed me and my family in front of her. Even though she's never met my parents and rarely talked to me. Now I get the feeling she's trying to establish the same type of control over me as she has on her daughters. She's asked me on occasion to drive all the way over to her house and talk to her, told her daughter that a woman should always have control over her man, and asked me today to go out on a saturday to help in one of her classes.
Should I stand my ground and refuse? I don't want her thinking she can control me.
2006-12-09 23:20:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you feel that you can cope the rest of your life with this controlling woman, then by all means let her control you.
if on the other hand it drives you crazy, you should consider talking your g/f into standing her ground with you. if you girlfriend won't do this then you know exactly where you stand with her.
2006-12-09 23:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by desert_rose1274 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people live in a family they should all respect each other. That means when dinner is ready and you are informed; unless you have already told your mom that you are not eating with her before she prepared the meal, it is appropriate for you to come to the table no matter what age you are. Mom may be over eating for any number of reasons. Stress, self esteem, etc... In any case your being critical will not do anything to help her with that problem. Sounds like you need to start asking your mom (in a respectful way) why she has the rules set up the way she does. And really listen to her answers do not debate. WHEN YOU LISTEN YOU LEARN BUT WHEN YOU TALK YOU ONLY REPEAT WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW.
2016-03-29 01:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably stay out of that stuff. Blood is thicker than water. If your girlfriend wanted things to be different with her mom, she would have them be different. A family's dynamics isn't something an outsider can reconstruct that easily, if at all. That behaviour will pass from this generation to the next, just like it probably passed from the previous generation to your girlfriend's mother. Think about that. I don't know how far your plans go, but do you want to be married to a woman like her mom. Because if you marry this girl, you probably will be. "History repeats itself" isn't a cliché for nothing.
2006-12-09 23:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Janette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it and dump the girl. I'm guessing you're pretty young so chances are you'll break up anyway. However if you were to marry this girl, even if you got her away from her mom, she'd be left with a lot of baggage and you'd have to deal with her issues.
or punch the mom in the face.
2006-12-09 23:24:56 · answer #4 · answered by hot carl sagan: ninja for hire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you must be good with her just cause you love her daughter. May be she take care of her daughters and want them to feel safe. May be she want to be sure that you love her daughter. And if she asks you to do anything you don't like, just tell her sorry, i can't. and be clear with her and honest but not to do anything you don't like.
2006-12-09 23:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet_kitten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground!
2006-12-09 23:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
refuse
2006-12-09 23:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋