so i've liked this guy for a very long time. and over the year as his close friend became my close friends, we became friends. the more i got to know him, the more i started to like him. though i never heard it for myself, i believed he did had feelings for me. as i tried to confess my feelings to him, i somehow couldn't because i really enjoy having his friendship. i was afraid that if i did do it, it might make things ackward if things don't go right between me and him and the rest of our friends?
what should i do? risk it? am i just using this as an excuse to not face my fear?
2006-12-09 22:23:47 · 22 answers · asked by skittles... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When in doubt.....be your true self.
What are you now?
According to you...
"A friend with special feelings and a desire to become closer." Give him a gift of something that is special to you and ask him to keep it. If he accepts, then you wait to see what he does. If he doesn't reciprocate then you haven't lost anything.
Tell. Friends will understand.
You won't lose a friend for sharing your good feelings for them. If they can't handle that then question who you are befriending.
He may not reciprocate your feelings, and that is what is making you fearful.
If you are mature and secure enough to accept that he doesn't have the same feelings, then nothing will happen to your friendship.
If you react negatively then you could spoil it by getting angry and resentful. There is no compulsion or coercion in love. Just be accepting. Accept your feelings and his eother way. He will continue to accept you I am sure.
Risk when you are ready, and that is when you just cant wait any longer. Lol,
2006-12-09 23:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by TransformYour.World 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, that's probably what my bf and i went through before. now after 6 years of relationship,we're tying the knot next year...but the thing is, he went to confess first that he liked me...
What you are trying to do is tell him your feelings right?Can't you wait a bit more so he could go first?A lot of guys seem to be interested but they are only being nice, if you know what i mean. IF you are afraid that friendship with him will be awkward if you tell him you like him, then don't...it might just as well happen, that is, if he is not ready to commit or he takes it the wrong way. I say, try to grow the feeling a bit more, I'm sure when he couldn't hold it in any longer, it will blast off without notice.
I also think, it will be a little more exciting if you prolong the chase, if you know what i mean. Let him do the move, girl. Enjoy the moments with him for a while as friends-in-love. It will be a lot more romantic when you finally confess it to each other
2006-12-09 22:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by nozmiat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him before it's too late... doing nothing is always the worst thing you can do. there is a better chance of good things happening if you tell him.
CASE: TELLING HIM
#1: if you tell him, he may feel the same and the two of you will be happy =P
#2: if you tell him, he may not feel the same. you will be hurt, but he may still want to be your friend.
#3: if you tell him, he may not feel the same and he may not want to be friends anymore. but you know that you tried your best and will not have to wonder how it could have been.
#4: there's a possibility that if he still wants to be your friend but he doesn't want to be more than that, you will not be able to handle it.
CASE: NOT TELLING HIM
#1: you will feel like you missed your chance for the rest of your life.
#2: you will always wonder how it could have been if only you told him.
#3: you may get over him in time and he'll still be your friend. maybe even best friend.
#4: there's a possibility that your friendship might end anyway...
2006-12-09 22:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by HALPMEH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever heard of the movie Groundhog Day? When the same thing happened again and again and again? This question is asked so many times and it amazes me because it happened to me 28 yrs ago. I had this wonderful friend in high school. We did everything together to where everyone thought we would end up married. I fell in love with him..he with me..but we never did anything out of fear of losing our friendship. We always excused it with ..naw..we are just good friends that's all..one day we kissed and knew better but walked away from it again..out of fear. We still keep in touch..he married..divorced. I am still married..but would lie if I tell you I don't wonder at times..what could our lives have been if we had taken that chance..I think life is full of chances..and we have to take them! With that, make your decision.
2006-12-09 22:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by Ness 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him your feelings. What better mate than your best friend. It may be awkward at first, but look at the possibilities. If you are really good friends and things don't work out, than chances are likely you will remain great friends. If you don't confess your feelings, you may regret it in the future, and than you will have to deal with resentments. Not good. DO IT.
2006-12-09 22:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by pofdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go out on a date with him and see what happens. It couldn't hurt. It's not like you're going to marry the guy right away, as soon as you confess. Take it easy and take it one step at a time. You would be lucky to find someone that can actually go the distance to marriage. Why diminish your chances when you haven't even started?
2006-12-09 22:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly don't think you should fear Friends ,Friends are made for confessions and to tell each others secrets and stuff, other whys you guys are not very closed Friends ...if he is your good Friend then it is cheating not to tell him your true feelings ,now wither he understand or not he should and must except the fact with out having to wary about loosing his Friend ship if he is a true Friend...and if you do loose him then he is not your true Friend then you got nothing to loose...!
2006-12-09 22:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i recently went by using this. I actually have a woman that I even have been super acquaintances with for 10 years, on condition that highschool. we've the two had relationships and not in any respect been single on an analogous time. we'd pass out on double dates with our previous peeps. We have been in simple terms super acquaintances. nicely, we ended up single on an analogous time, grew actual close and then took the step in to a actual relationship. It replaced into super. regrettably, after a collectively as, i'd desire to ascertain that we've been in simple terms too plenty alike for it to artwork out. i think of she observed it too. We ended our actual relationship. We didnt communicate plenty for a pair of month, yet now we are only as close as ever, like no longer something befell. I advise, it incredibly is there, yet no annoying thoughts and its no longer wierd in any respect. i think the sole project is that if between the events incredibly gets harm.
2016-10-05 03:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear friend ,ur story sounds like mine.even i had a similar incident in my past.i was very close to my cousin and we were truly best of friends for more than five yrs.slowly i reaslised i really love him but because of fear i never told him,even i knew he did like me but within himself he didnot dare to come to a dicission,his sister knew i loved him but never told.he got married to the girl he thought loves him and also that he did with her deeply.i just kept quite,later i got married to a very good and understandin guy,a year later heard that my cousin got a divorce from that girl,he was broke and that time he realised that it was me and not that girl as his life partner but it was too late.truly speakin i am happy with my husband and family now but still wonder sometimes only if boldly i wish could have spoken to him.
if ur friendship is strong ,then just give a try but in a very smart and tactful way so that u donot hurt him neither wonder only if...........for the rest of ur life like me.all the best take care.
2006-12-09 22:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by reena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you should risk it, i know in "friends" rachel and ross, get by just fine and its not awkward, but it will be awkward if things dont work out.
a lil motto for you...bf/gf are there now, but friends are there forever.
you will only ever be with one person for the rest of your life, out of the 100 people you may date in a lifetime, do you want to lose a friend with a 1:100 change? 1% chance it will last.
I dont think so, stay friends with them, dont try something that might not succeed, because you will lose more than just a companion you'll lose your best bud too.
2006-12-09 22:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by John B 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋