do you believe that opposites attract each other?

Question

just wondering. "he" is my exact opposite. he writes, sings, so calm, quiet, and the serious type. me? i am into sports and i'm not good in writing. i dance but not more of singing. i am the jolly-type of person. but we're really having a good time together

Answer 1

We've all heard it over and over again. "If you want to find a great relationship, look for an opposite." Is that really the best approach? How can someone who has a different set of values, attitudes and hobbies be so attractive?

People who are dramatically different from us are often the most attractive. This comes from a common sense approach to social relationships. Our lives are usually enriched by connections to others who have abilities that we don't have. Unfortunately, applying this lesson to our romantic pursuits is often a recipe for disaster.

"If the qualities that attract you to someone are different from your own, be cautious," says Dr. Neil Clark Warren, clinical psychologist and author of "Date.or Soul Mate? How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates Or Less." He points out that, while opposites often attract, they also usually drive each other crazy over the long haul. Dr. Warren's three decades of counseling married couples has led him to make "finding someone similar to you" one of the pillars of his relationship advice." I don't discount how hard it is to find someone who is a lot like you. It has always been difficult, and it's become even more so as diversity increases. But when two people come from similar backgrounds, they operate from a position of strength. Their relationship is made significantly easier by all the customs and practices they have in common."

Forging a relationship with an opposite is so hard because every difference you have requires negotiation and adaptation. Accommodation and compromise will necessitate plenty of change. This change creates a kind of stress, and according to Dr. Warren, "If there are too many differences, you may not be able to survive all the strain involved in adapting to each other."

What sorts of differences cause the most trouble? When considering whether a particular person is a good relationship candidate for you, look to four specific areas:

Energy Level - If she likes to go dancing three times a week and he loves to relax on the couch most nights.look out.

Personal Habits - This includes punctuality, cleanliness, weight management, and smoking.

Use of Money - When one person wants to save for the future and the other is eager to spend and enjoy life NOW, the conflict can be deadly to a relationship.

Verbal Skills and Interests - If one person is dying for more conversation and the other wants more piece and quiet, there is a lot of stress.

Having considered all these points there is one personality trait that can mitigate the danger of a relationship between opposites. Dr. Warren calls it 'flexibility'. "This flexibility allows people to consider the differences, evaluate them, propose alternative solutions, and then resolve them. Of course, it is vital that two people be willing to compromise. When one partner bends and flexes every time, the relationship becomes unbalanced and 'out of whack.'"

So, next time you're feeling that tug of attraction to someone you know is drastically different than you, take a second look. Professor J. Phillippe Rushton of The University of Western Ontario, in his study on differences and marital happiness, put it this way: "One of the most important principles to follow in choosing a mate revolves around a highly established reality; stable and satisfying marriages usually involve two people who are very much alike."

Answer 2

Opposites do attract, but so do those of a like mind.

The attraction is different for each scenario.

Opposites attract because the two in the relationship can always find new and unknown things from the other, and be in delight over obvious differences with which the enlightenment of realization is present. In a way this type of attraction could be categorized as a very alive attraction that is just as lasting as those of similar qualities.

But those of similar qualities will in the long run have a more comfortable, but probably not more lasting, relationship. They would be able to agree on just about anything, and have kindred perceptives.

It's great that everything's good with your relationship right now. Good luck!

Answer 3

Opposites do attract. The biggest reason for this is because opposite, or opposing character traits play well off of each other and it can make for a lot of fun, however it is a lot harder to find things that you are both interested in. So while hanging out and stuff can be fun, the actual activities that you will find you are able to do together and both of you have fun with is less and less likely the more opposite you get.

Answer 4

For some people that's true, but for others like attracts like. Some of the longest lasting relationships (according to recent research) turn out to be the ones where people are very much alike. To address the answer below re: National Geographic: that's partially correct. People tended to be most attracted to those with some of the same genes and some different genes.

Answer 5

There is this study that we tend to be attracted to people who have genes uncommon to ours. According to the study, it is because we are trying to produce an offspring that has a wide susceptibility to diseases...If most of your genes are common to a person, you're most likely to produce a child which is susceptible to disease that you and your partner are susceptible too. Now, you try to find a mate that has genes not similar to yours so your child can have a variety of genes that can make him/her susceptible to a lot more diseases. This study is actually proven, you know, and it is manifested by our sense of smell. If we like the scent of the guy (which makes him attractive to us sometimes right?), we have different genes. If we didn't like it, it means we share similar genes. It is actually why, we are not attracted to our own brothers and sisters, etc.
Well, what i say to you is probably true why we sometimes like people who are opposite our traits. But i guess, in the long run, i guess, it is about how we deal to each other what is important, not the things we do. You like him because maybe you share a common ground, not necessarily about things you do, but maybe because, he listens to you or he is a gentleman...if you get what i mean.

Answer 6

I am not sure to be honest for example like if they do attract what if one wants the house clean and always tries to keep it clean and the other doesn't care? And all of these things will add up and it will be impossible in that case they don't attract?

Answer 7

I believe in opposites attracting. My hubby & I are complete opposites & its cool with us, 10 yrs next year. We also are best friends!

Answer 8

Absolutely! Because in a couple of years when the romance has faded away, you will still be able to have interesting conversations because you have done different things with your day. If you wanted to hang out with yourself, you would stay single.

Go as different as you can!

Answer 9

of course... sometimes, it's good to be with your complete opposite. you find new things, and both of you would have the opportunity to grow in the relationship. he would teach you new things, and you would teach him new things. that would keep the excitement going. sometimes, being with someone who has exactly the same interests as yours could be boring... unless of course, it is true love....:)

Answer 10

There are no answers to this in socio-politics.

The only place where this can be proven or otherwise is in the science related fields.

Apparently, you have a good relationship. Why would you question it?