Does anyone here have/know a child with Asperger's, or other form of Autism?

Question

Would like to hear stories from anyone who has a family member, or knows someone with Autism (Mainly Asperger's Syndrome). One of my sons was diagnosed with this, and I would like to know what other children with this disorder are like. Does having this disability greatly complicate their life? If anyone can give me any advice, or websites to visit that would also be great. Thanks.

Answer 1

I know Asperger's two different ways.
"Does... complicate their life?" Undoubtedly.

The first thing to say is that the diagnosis does not make everyone with it the same. Very far from it. Not all lack humour, some are avid readers, some hate books some have major hobby obsessions, others do not...

Very often the biggest problem people with Asperger's have is the expectation of the majority that they should conform to the mainstream, be more normal. While some features can be limiting or even debilitating, very often there's a lot which is just "marching to the beat of a different drum" and the stress and difficulty arises just from being out of step.

The trick is negotiating the difference between how most see the world and the viewpoint of the AS individual. Initially, explanations and instructions are going to be absorbed and accepted much better if they are phrased in terms of the child's own thinking. (If you wanted an English speaker to learn German, a lot of the early explanations would take place in English. Just talking in German is a very ineffective method!)
For example: social conventions and behaviours are not just "right" or "done": that often has no reason in the AS world. But it may be graspable as "the rules of a game that people play."

Two ways? As an optometrist I have worked with a good number of Autistic children, most frequently Asperger's.
Adusting to suit the person in the chair is standard good practice, but often that principle is not extended outside the consulting room.

And I have Asperger's Syndrome too.
I was diagnosed with the condition at the age of 48.
It explained a lot about why I have often felt I was on the wrong planet. The URL below is the best and friendliest messageboard I've encountered,a nd has links to other resources.

Oh, and to balance the idea that Asperger's is just a disability (the idea is out there, along with the idea that it needs curing), there is a view that the world needs aspies:

"Able autistic individuals can rise to eminent positions with such outstanding success that one may conclude that only such people are capable of certain achievements. Their unswerving determination and penetrating intellectual powers, part of their spontaneous and original mental activity, their narrowness and single-mindedness, as manifested in their special interests, can be immensely valuable and can lead to outstanding achievements in their chosen areas." (Hans Asperger 1944)

Answer 2

The good news is that children with Asperger's do grow up and do normal things, I was in college with two women who lived with Asperger's and I was a counselor for another young lady at a camp as lives with Asperger's. If caught early on, you can work with your child. The most that I noticed about these women was that they were all very, very intelligent, yet they lacked communication/people skills. They call this a high functioning form of autism. Normally, I noticed that they could do their work, if able to stay focused/interested. The students that I attended college with needed guidance every now and then, or a little extra push to keep them going. Their conversations were usually a bit one-sided, but they were great people. And because of the poor communication/social skills they would stay in their rooms. To me it actually seemed that Asperger's causes a bit of OCD to rise, or maybe it just comes hand in hand.


http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aswhatisit.html

http://www.med.yale.edu/chldstdy/autism/aspergers.html

Please for further information go to Google and your local library...Asperger's is not uncommon, although it is usually not diagnosed. Learn about this syndrome for yourself and your child. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

I know of some children who have been diagnosed in that spectrum. It complicates life in that none of them are able to live on their own. It also means that there are some things that they may not be good at - math and money management are big problems for some. Interpersonal skills are also a very big issue.
There are cases where people have done well with it. There was a story in the Reader's Digest of a young man who has the entire transit system map of (Chicago) in his head and works at the Transit office helping people get from place to place. He comes up with better routes than the computer and faster. He has won awards for courtesy and customer service. He still cant manage his money and basic affairs of life.
If you recently received the diagnosis, I would recommend some books by Dr. Temple Grandin. She is one of the first autistic people to describe what the world looks like through her eyes. Her web site is templegrandin.com
Talk to others who have children with a similar diagnosis and through the early childhood intervention program that you hare in, find others who have the same condtion and speak to them about this.

Answer 4

Well, it's possible, all sorts of things are, but his ped thinks he has a delay. Why don't you think this is right? My son didn't speak until he was older, we went to the speech therapist and then all of a sudden a few weeks later, he started talking in whole sentences (I don't think this was because of anything she did though), I know he was close to three because we didn't move in to this house until he was two and a half. He also arranged in lines and did other "odd" things. He's taking your hand and leading you to what he needs you to do/see because he can't tell you since he doesn't talk yet. That makes sense. He's frustrated with himself and has tantrums and hits his head - while this isn't a good thing, it might not mean anything other then he is cross at not being able to express himself, plus he is still two....and two year olds have tantrums, that's why they call it The Terrible Twos. My son had perfect hearing in the original hospital tests as a baby, but by the time he was six, he was diagnosed with one sided moderate inner ear hearing loss. They are still trying to find out what caused this, but you wouldn't know to talk to him, he doesn't appear to be a partially deaf kid. I think for your own peace of mind, you should speak to the pediatrician again, and definitely get a referral to a speech therapist, but don't assume he is autistic, he might just be a kid who hasn't started talking yet.

Answer 5

You might be interested in reading books written by individuals with Asperger's Syndrome or autism. I have found that these types of books are very interesting and insightful. Here are some of my favorite resources. Best of luck and I hope this helps!

Websites:

"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm - http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story

"The Discovery of "Aspie" Criteria" ~ What if Asperger’s Syndrome was defined by its strengths? - http://www.thegraycenter.org/sectionsdetails.cfm?id=38

Website of Paula Kluth, Ph.D. - http://www.paulakluth.com/autism.html

Positively Autism (free online magazine, includes free lessons/activities) - http://www.positivelyautism.com

Teaching Tips for Children and Adults with Autism by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. (a college professor with autism) - http://www.autism.org/temple/tips.html


Books:

"Your Life is Not a Label: A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by Jerry Newport (an author with Asperger's Syndrome)

"You're Going to Love This Kid!: Teaching Students With Autism in the Inclusive Classroom" By Paula Kluth

"Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism" By Paul Collins

"Beyond the Wall: Personal Experiences with Autism and Asperger Syndrome" by Stephen M. Shore and Temple Grandin

Any book by Temple Grandin (a college professor with autism)

"I Am Utterly Unique: Celebrating the Strengths of Children with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism" by Vivian Strand (a children's book)

Answer 6

My younger brother has Aspberger's. Well for a long time my parents couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and the schools had no idea either they just thought he was "anti-social". So they forced him into sports and after school activites (not meant for autistic kids) this only damaged him futher he'd shut down from the world. Finally a dr. was able to tell us what the problem was and give advice. My brother is currently enrolled in a school specifically designed for children with mental disorders and is doing great. He's studying to be a graphic artist and is currently learning to speak Japanese. It's hard in the beginning, but with counseling and proper schooling he'll be fine and especially the support of his family he'll be doing great ;o)

Answer 7

My nephew has autism. He can be so easy to deal with and an absolute pleasure to be around but sometimes it is like he just shuts off. He won't look anyone in the eye and he won't respond to us other than to kick and scream. He is four now and it seems to be lessening but his is mild. I typed in autism on yahoo search and found a few good websites that helped.

Answer 8

My 8 yr. old son has PDD-NOS which, on the spectrum, is one step "worse" than Asperger's. (It stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified, meaning he has autistic traits but not profoundly) I also have a nephew with Asperger's, however, the boys are not blood relatives. Here's a short version of my experience thus far. Ry was first dx'd with ADHD, then an Auditory Processing Disorder, and then Sensory Integration Disorder. After many hours on the internet and at the library, I discovered that many times the ASD child has varying degrees of each of these disorders and sometimes others as well, so it makes it rather hard to diagnose. Frequently the less profound cases are diagnosed as something else first, or missed completely. My son was only dx'd this last spring after he was lucky enough to be placed in a lst grade class that had a caring and observant teacher. Before that I couldn't get anyone to listen to me! My son has problems with receptive and expressive language so he frequently misunderstands what's said to him. Couple that with the impulsivity of the ADHD and you get a kid who often can't control himself and follow the rules, because he hasn't understood the rule to begin with and won't take his communication the next necessary step by asking ?'s when he doesn't "get it." I have him going to an excellent Occupational Therapist who is helping him with his sensory input issues and he get services through our local mental health agency for his social issues. He isn't a violent, mean child but he gets very upset and angry lots of times because he thinks people have said something "mean" to him when they really haven't. He is full of energy and needs lots of proprioceptive input to his joints, which means lots of running and jumping. He used to hug us so hard as a little guy that it would hurt. He also used to squeeze my arm many times during the day or anytime he was stressed out. He has trouble staying focused and on task and frequently talks very loud. My suggestion to you would be to learn very early to be an advocate for your son and make sure those who deal with him understand what he needs to maintain control, etc. He isn't trying to be a "bad kid" and probably wants very badly to be "normal" although can't know what that even is. It amazes me the judgmental mentalities most people have when our kids can't conform to what is expected of them. I hope your son has a teacher who is patient and willing to overlook some of the oddities, for lack of a better word. These kids are some of the neatest kids, especially when we stop trying to change them, unless of course they are violent and hurting themselves or others, then we don't have a choice. I certainly learned early on, before we even had a diagnosis, to pick my battles and leave it alone if it truly didn't matter and it made him feel better. Good luck, I hope you have a good support system...if not, find one, you're gonna need it! My thoughts are with you! :o) Oh yeah, as far as this disorder complicating anyone's life, well, anytime someone is different, no matter what the issue is, I think their lives and those around them have a more "complicated" life, but that doesn't mean their lives are less meaningful and full, they just have to learn to adapt and adjust so they can enjoy life. A few small changes, to accomodate your son, can make a world of difference to him and you! Don't worry about people who judge you both, your son is your priority, not them. I know this has been a sore spot for me and I still find it hard. One of the problems I/he face too is that he phyically looks completely normal so you expect "normal" behavior...when people don't get "normal" from him, well, then he gets into trouble because he looks like he's being manipulative or defiant, etc. It affects lots of areas in his life, things that don't bother us at all can build up and send him over the edge and then he just looks like he's throwing a fit. He mentally obsesses over things too, so getting an idea out of his head once it's there is like pulling teeth! Again, good luck! I will stop here, because I can go on and on about this subject for days, just ask my family and his therapists! :o)

Answer 9

Most people around me are Autists, if you know what I mean :), but sorry I only know someone who has down sindrom. He is pretty friendly and can beat you even if you swear. But most people make fun of him and he retires in his room, trying to read smart stuff. Also he is pudic and slaps you if you say something about sex etc.

Answer 10

yea...my mom is the superintendent of a children's home. and there was one boy with autism...he needed special care and special support...so they trained one of the staff here...you have to find out wat the boy doesnt like...in this case he doesnt like animals...so we have to really be careful not to let him see animals...