Good honest clean Christian Joke! Anybody laugh? 10 points for best LOL?

Question

Ok, an old man was on his death bed. So he called his doctor and his lawyer to come in.

He took the doctor with his right hand and the lawyer by his left.
About 5 minutes passed by and the doctor said "look I get paid thousands of dollars for minor surgical procedures....what do you want?"

Then, the lawyer said, "look I get paid $400 an hour to stand in court. Hurry up old man, and tell me what you want!"

The old man says " I want to die like Jesus, between 2 theives"

AHAHHAaa



http://www.migdalohrcanada.com/
http://www.migdalohrusa.org/

Blessings,
David

Answer 1

LOL

my 10 cents:

(Catholic) Daughter: Mom I wish to marry John
Mom: What is the problem then?
Daughter: Oh he is an atheist. He does not believe in hell nor does he pray to god

Mom: dont worry Marry him right away. after marrying you he will start believing in HELL and would pray god to get rid of you

Answer 2

This is funny. See David, I knew you had a softer more tangible side to you. I've read your posts tonight and you're much warmer than the other night. Way to go.

Of course, all of that would mean a whole lot more to you if you actually cared what I thought, right?

:) Be blessed, brother.

Answer 3

Morals the instructor gave her 5th grade type an task: Have your parents inform you a narrative with a ethical on the top. here day the youngsters got here back and one via one began to tell their memories. 'Johnny, do you have a narrative t o proportion?' 'definite ma'am. My daddy informed a narrative approximately my Aunt Carol. She replaced right into a pilot in desolate tract typhoon and her airplane have been given hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had replaced right into a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it does not ruin and then her parachute landed precise interior the process twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun till she ran out of bullets, killed 4 extra with the knife, till ultimately the blade broke, and then she killed the final Iraqi along with her bare palms.' 'stable Heavens' reported the horrified instructor. 'what style of ethical did your daddy inform you from this terrible tale?' 'stay the hell far flung from Aunt Carol while she's ingesting.'

Answer 4

Your support of Migdal Ohr is commendable. A very Christian thing to do.
I Cr 13;8a
12-10-6

Answer 5

Ha Ha I will have to tell that to my senior pastor, he is always coming in and telling cheesy jokes...

So here is one for you ^_^

A burgular is attempting to break into this house, he suceeds in getting in when he hears a voice say "Jesus is watching you". Startled he looks around to see no one thinking it was just in his head.

So he creeps a little farther into the house and he hears it again "Jesus is watching you" at this point the burglar is thinking there is some one in here.
So he carefully scans the room to see a cage half covered so he goes over and finds a parrot and he asks the parrot if it was him who said "Jesus is watching you"

The parrot replied yes.
So the burgular asks the parrot what his name is and the parrot replies "Clarance"

The burgular says "what kind of idiot would name their parrot Clarance"

The parrot replied "the same idiot who would name his rottweiler Jesus"

Answer 6

If he wanted to die between great criminals he should have asked for **** Cheney and GWB they are two of the worst living criminals ever. 9/11 was a false flag operation. The above named men are the true terrorists.

The joke is on you. There is no God. It is a delusion many people are under. Read the God Delusion and then we can talk and jest and more. LA LA HA ha

Answer 7

LMAO!!!

Thanks, David!

I'd just answered a question by a Muslim going be "WorldPeace" [like anybody would believe, a Muslim and WorldPeace???] where I did my usual thing of giving him and Poki, who was, naturally, there; all the relevent embarrasing quotes from their own Koran.

I really needed this laugh!

OMG, Wings, good one, too! LMAO!

Thanks, again.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Edit:

Here's my contribution:

Jane Seymour, Dr Quinn Medicine Woman was going to open her Clinic, one day, when she saw a brave patiently waiting for her there.

"How?" asked Dr. Quinn

"Big Chief, no $hit," replied the Brave.

So, she gave him 4 laxatives and told him to give them to the Big Chief.

Come afternoon, when she was closing to go out for lunch, the Brave was back with "Big Chief, no $hit."

So, this time, she gave him a dozen laxatives and told him to give it to the big Chief.

And, in the evening, when she was closing shop, the Brave was back with "Big Chief, no $hit."

Fed up, now, she gave him the whole bottle full of laxatives and told him to give them to the Big Chief.

The next few days, there was no sign of the Brave and one day, when she was going back home, she met the Brave staggering out of the saloon carrying his bottle of "fire water".

"How, Big Chief?" asked Dr. Quinn.

"Big $hit, no Chief!" replied the Brave.

Answer 8

Smart-hahahahaha:)

Answer 9

ROTFL!! What a good joke. And to think that these are only two thieves he may have come in contact with! Ha!

Answer 10

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. ~H.L. Mencken, Notebooks, 1956