My b/f and i have been together for 3years and living together and last night we broke up, all because he says he doesnt want a relationship anymore.
He says he still loves me and always will but i am completely heartbroken and dont know what to do!!
I really do love him and thought we were gunna be together for ever and know its all gone!!
Please help me what should i do??
i cant just let him walk away!!!
2006-12-09 19:47:58 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, im sad just reading this. But if its meant to be, he will realize that your the one he wants sooner or later, theres nothing you can do to change his mind if hes determined he doesnt want a relationship but the only thing is to just hope hell come back. Just tell him you love him everyday and always will if youre serious about him and if its meant to be he will return to you! Good luck!
2006-12-09 19:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can! He's already shown you his true colors, just be glad you found out b4 there were any children involved. You may both still be in love but you've simply outgrown each other. Don't let how long you've been together effect what the relationship really was, quality over quantity. I understand where you're coming from, I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years and I thought that my world would come crashing in, but after you've had a little time, you'll realize that your relationship was just a learning experience. He's makng his exit so that bigger and better things can come your way. Good luck.
2006-12-09 19:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by BeautifuLL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I feel for you I really do on thanksgiving my fiancé ended things with me told me he loved me but he couldn’t do it anymore.... The advice people gave me was to at all costs resist the urge to call him and beg him back every five seconds. Wait about a week or maybe a little more (more if you can stand to wait that long) and call him and be like hey just wanted to see what you've been up to and sound like that something amazing happened in that week and you aren’t totally crushed anymore....... everyone always says don’t let them know you want them back I am for that I just think its not so much not letting them know as it is about NOT calling them and being like why did you do this why why why..... Everyone told me that things would work out and I have held on to that and that is what made me wake up in the morning until the other he told me that things were done for good..... The thing that kept me getting up was being around my friends as much as possible it helped me hold back some of the urges to cry and a lot times you just need some one to sit there and talk about how much you don’t understand it.... Don’t smother him let him have his space and in that time he will see if he wants to be with you and if he comes back you’ll know its for real if he doesn’t you know it was better off that way no matter how hard it is for you to deal with that. I wish all the luck in getting through this and figuring it out......
2006-12-09 19:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by SunShineBabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry, I have been there once or twice in a lifetime. No one can hold on to someone who doesn't want to be held on. Well I of course did the stupid things that made him want to run faster away from me like showing up un announced at the door. It took me a few heart breaks to finally realize there are so many guys out there and there is not just one person who is made for me. Like I always say to my friends and family, there are over 6 billion people in the world and I still haven't even met 1 million of them yet. What I would do is spend time with someone you trust. I know it feels like you're going crazy with emotions, can't sit still, always wondering what he's doing. If you can take a short trip with a friend because your ego is bruised, go out to dinner and smile like you mean it. Take care of your self and buy 1 pretty item just for you. I always loved silk scarves, got lots of them cause they feel soft. Good luck to you.
2006-12-09 20:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are at the worst part of a terrible situation. Emotions are at a boil, and thoughts of "it can't be over -- I just have to, uh, have to, uh...." are going through your mind a 100 MPH. In calmer moments, you get a brief lift when you face up to the fact that now that the relationship is over, there are other fish in the sea! But then you sink into even deeper despair when it thought that now you are ALONE AGAIN finally insinuates its tendrils into your thoughts. After a few minutes of contemplating that, you suddenly have the horrid suspicion that NO ONE IS EVERY GOING TO BE INTERESTED IN YOU AGAIN! You're not worthy of anybody. You suck. After a few minutes in the dumps, a little spark of anger builds up as you realize that he's just a bastard! Dumping you like that?!? Who the heck does he think he is? Well, he's not as smart as he thinks he is, I can get him back if I just ... just ... just.....
You know what? We'll all been there. We ALL feel your pain, your anxiety and your fear. Let it have its head for now. Cry when you wanna cry, get mad when you feel like getting mad. It's very cathartic -- and you'll be over it, a little bit in just another day or so, and it will get consistently better over the next few weeks and months, and then some cute guy will catch your eye .... and the whole darn thing will start over again.
Welcome to Life. Learn to enjoy the good parts.
2006-12-09 19:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mark H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is not over in one night. It has either been happening for a while without your noticing or it is the beginning of the end. Either way ther decision cant have been made yet, surely.
I split form my (then) girlfriend after about three years. Best thing that ever happened as we got back together about a year later. Then lived together, then married. Now 20 years together.
Good luck. And I hope it ALL works out for you.
xxB
2006-12-09 19:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First try to get some more information on the reason why he dont want to have a relationship.Then if he gives a more ''satisfactory'' answer and the outcome is still void,then move on.There are thousands of millions of people out there..makes more friends and have more adventures,then you will be strong and more confident plus the main thing you will know more about yourself and others.
Good Luck
2006-12-09 19:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by Kaushall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is what you do:
Take what is left of your self esteem and discuss how you are going to split the house/apt or whatever. Make clear who is financially responsible for what and get him to sign an agreement stating that. (forcing him to think about this may also force him to face what he REALLY wants!)
If he tries to get you to be financially responsible for more than you feel you should, remind him he wants out not you, so he can pay for the freedom.
Good luck, HTH, and I'm so sorry this happened to you :-(
After that, do what you have agreed to. Take some time to reconnect with your friends and family. After about 6 months you should be recovered enough to make big decisions and possibly start dating again.
If after the initial steps you still do not feel you can handle this, get counselling. He wants out, no amount of debasing yourself is going to fix that. Do not wear yourself out working for something that is not going to happen. And do NOT fall right back into bed with the man thinking the problems are solved, I guarantee you will just hurt yourself more.
2006-12-09 19:55:45 · answer #8 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, back off and let him do what he "thinks" he wants to do. Don't beg, don't cry, don't try to reason with him, let him go. Be strong. If he is given time to think, maybe he will decide that he was out of his mind to leave you, and he will come back, but you can't MAKE him. If he needs time and space, give it to him, it's not the end of the world. If your relationship survives a separation, if you handle it right, it could end up being stronger.
2006-12-09 19:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space - let him figure out who he is again and what he wants. Sorry its like this but it won't work unless he can get his head together and realise he wants to stay with you.
And if he doesn't come back then you'll know his love wasn't as strong as yours.
tell him how you feel and let him know that he can come back. But you'll have to be strong mean time.
Good luck. I've just come out of a 3 year relationship myself so I know how you must be feeling.
2006-12-09 19:55:02 · answer #10 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋