cant decide to home school or not the small school they go to is great but 1 son struggles?

Question

younger son would do well so would older son. for the last year they have gone to school after homeschooling i have had no peace about it it has been easy than having them home as homeschooling the last 2 years was hard work and i think i was to slack 11 year old done well 8 year old is so far behind. 5 year old starts next year will do well, we know the 8 year old has learning problems im typing this with 9 month old on lap



only vetran homeschoolers reply thankyou

the school they attend is great,he really does have a problem he really is very disorganised and frustrating how he forgets simple things like hats or putting p.js away or putting dishes in the wrong place its like hes from another world sometimes we have belonged to a homeschool ccop group out here they dont really have answers for me?he is a sweet lovable boys who has no behavior problems

Answer 1

There is no magic answer. No matter which way you go, it's going to be a lot of work. Parenting and teaching your children, no matter where they learn, will be a lot of work.

The question is, what kind of "work" fits best with your parenting and educational philosophies?

I would suggest reading some books on homeschooling and "how to help your child succeed in school" and get a feel for which books "speak" to you better.

There are a million books on homeschooling. I would suggest Fundamentals of Home Education and Homeschooling: The Early Years (or any other Linda Dobson books).

Also, if you are learning towards the homeschooling direction, join a Yahoo group for your state's homeschoolers. Go to http://groups.yahoo.com and search for "homeschool yourstate". You can find out exactly what's in your area.

There are also many lists for homeschooling children with special needs.

I homeschool three children - 8, 6 and 3, and it works really well for us, because it fits our lifestyle and educational philosophy. We enjoy it, so even though it's a lot of work, we like it. Just like our feelings towards being parents in general.

And, BTW, give yourself some time to yourself. It will help you think more clearly and not make decisions based on the search for just getting a moment to calm. That's not a good reason to make educational decisions. So, figure out a way to give yourself time, even if it's just 30 minutes alone, in the back, nursing your baby.

Good luck!

Answer 2

There is sometimes an issue with a middle child. He is not the "first" oldest, biggest...and he is not the "baby" youngest, still learning, etc.
Middle children often feel odd in the family.
Do not assume he has a learning disability, have the child tested thru a couselor, psychologist or similar person that can give a valid test. Do not be afraid or scared that one child is "behind".
This is added pressure on you and the child if you decide he is "behind"!!!
>> Have the child tested via a proctor on an standardized SAT, which you can order thru BYU Press. You will recieve the results in several weeks, this will show you the exact areas of strength, weakness or "normalcy". He may understand geometry better than math for example, he may be a bad speller, but he may understand connection better, may be better in analogies or logic. Once you have this information in your hand, DESIGN a curriculum for him, choose books, workbooks, and exercises that will improve his weaknesses, even if they are "below" his grade level! Keep the regular and above areas going, but do concentrate on pinpointing his exact problems, and design your assistance accordingly.
Remember to explain to your son, he is not behind, or dumb, or whatever. You must tell him he learns differently and you want to help him by getting the right kind of books for him. Show him too, that he has areas of talent.
You will need to find the time to dedicate an hour a day just for HIM. In this hour, help with subjects, but also be patient, understanding, listen to his fears or dreams, and be a good friend to him...this will do more than you know.
Have the SAT repeated in one year and compare the scores, if it has improved, explain this to him, show him his results. If it is getting worse, you may need outside help.

FInd out if he has problems in the family too...how does he feel about the baby? Does he feel left behind by mom and dad lately???

Answer 3

That's something you will have to just decide I guess after you look at all the pros and cons (you haven't really listed them in your question: but the quality of the school, how you and your spouse feel about it, how your children feel, etc.). You say you have had "no peace about it". If that is totally true you would probably want to homeschool your children. But for some reason I sense you may be somewhat satisfied with the school as well. I noticed you don't list any problems with the school or specific reasons you are unhappy with it. If the only reason you are unhappy about not homeschooling is that you feel you should be doing it to be a good mother, then I think you should allow yourself to let go of any possible guilt and do whatever makes you and your children happy.

I will say that I have two autistic spectrum children, my ds also has dyslexia and writing difficulties, and he attended preschool and did attend school for Kindergarten and first grade. He was very stressed out trying to keep up with the non-LD children and was crying and having stomach aches each day. I was tutoring him (after being asked by his teachers) in reading, math, handwriting, and then they asked me to tutor him in language arts at the end of 1st grade. It is stressful trying to have an LD child I think in school, and easier to do the one-on-one pace of homeschooling where you can tailor the curriculum to their exact level. Your child that is behind, probably would have been behind as my ds was, even if he had been in school all along (as was my son) and getting hours of tutoring (as was my son). If he has learning problems that probably will continue in the school environment. What I like about homeschooling is that my ds doesn't have to learn each concept in X amount of time, if he needs an extra day or even a week to learn a concept it's OK. It's very low-key, low-stress, we try to make learning fun by playing games, reading fun books, etc.

I also agree with the other posters that answered that you can homeschool some children and not others. We have thought of that as a possibility at one point, although we have been hsing both, and are always open to the possibility. Although my ds says he does want to remain hsing until college, my dd may someday attend school at some point, and I will try to not be too crushed about it!

Answer 4

Ok you sound overwhelmed. It happens. I have only 2 children but they are 8 and 2 and my 8 year old is a little ADD so distractions are hard for him. My 2 year old can be very distracting so it is hard to get as much done as I would like.

To me you need to decide this. If you think you can find a schedule and make it work, or a curriculm that has a little more independant learning (we are using switched on schoolhouse this year and since it is all computer it helps and then I just supplement) you could homeschool. But not all public schools are bad. If yours is a good one, stop feeling guilty, you are not wonder woman. You cannot do it all. Do your best.

Homeschooling is great. There are tons of reasons to do it. We all have friends who are super moms and seem to do it all. Active in church homeschooling 6 well behaved children, always seem happy, but we are not all like that. And the reason to homeschool is because you want to give your children a better envioronment, it you feel you are not able to do that right now then I applaud you for looking out for the best interest of your children rather than try to fake it to fullfill an ideal. Because just like we all know the super mom, we all also know the mom who has let too much slide and is doing a disservice. We all have those moments, but constant underacheivement isn't good enough.

So, look around. Decide what is best for your family, talk to your spouse, talk to your kids, pray about it.

Good Luck.

I just saw your addition to the post. Your son sounds just like my 8 year old!! Ty is a little ADD and it causes him to be easily distracted. Other ADD moms and I call it the shiny object syndrome. The littlest thing can draw his focus away from where it needs to be. But then if he is really interested he can focus like nobodys business.

For my son I have found he is a strong reader, but likes to read out loud and have my attention. He is better learning hands on and having us talk something out rather than just sitting doing worksheets. He needs a lot of reminding, but the reminding is frustrating to him. It is tough with a 2 year old who also claims a lot of attention. The switched on schoolhouse helps a little because it has little videos to it, but it is not a total fix.

I am looking in to a classical education program because it would allow me to teach both kids some of the same things despite age differences. Here is a website you might look at classical-homeschooling.org. and a book is A Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise. Basically it has you teaching one kind of history and science to every child with variying levels of difficulty. (Ancient History covering 5000 BC to 400 AD taught with biology, classification, and the human body...Medieval to early renaisannce taught with earth science and astronomy...Late Renaisannce to early modern taught with chemistry...Modern taught with physics and computer science. They have it divided by grade, but I have friends who just follow the schedule and teach everyone. It lets you build a curriculum you can use again in 4 years with the next level of child. It allows the oppourtunity for a lot of group reading, maybe the older could read to the younger. Plus even though the littler kids might not understand the theories behind all the science the experiments could be fun. It comes with large resource lists.

It might help with scheduling.

Answer 5

Who said they ALL have to go to school.. or ALL be homeschooled?
Your the Mom let the 11 year old and 5 year old go to regular school and see how it goes.
You sound overwhelmed and you wont' be doing the best for your children in that condition.

Two of my kids went to public school K-12 the other 2 went to public school K-5 but that was my particular situation.
Tailor this to fit your needs and your children's needs. That is the beauty of the system you have choices!

Answer 6

Do you have a home school group with which you work? The 8 year old might benefit from specialized instruction. The home school groups usually have resources where you can have design help for curriculum geared for kids who have special challenges. - ACE does as well. It's hard to tell from the bit typed.

Answer 7

I think there are questions you need to ask yourself: Are you willing to take on the work? Are you able to help your 8yo? What will be different if you homeschool him again? What is the school doing about your 8yo? What does your 8yo want? What is your heart telling you?

I know families who do pull just one child out of school to homeschool. If you wanted to just pull him, there'd be nothing wrong with that.

Answer 8

Maybe your 8yo would do better if you only had him to teach one on one but first ask yourself if the school is doing anything to help him that you couldn't. We have hs our son for five years and just started our daughter in k this year but she has a strong desire to go to public school and I hate to admit it but even though my son does well at home I think public school might be better for my daughter. It's great to be able to tailor their education to what works best for all of you.

Answer 9

A-If you are a hard teacher, teach your son harder.
B-If he needs some other perspective, let him go to school.

Answer 10

it matters on the individual, no harm in trying it out with him