I have disclosed my past with my girlfriend but she is never ready to disclose her past ?

Question

I have disclosed my past with my girlfriend but she is never ready to disclose her past ?Does this means that she does'nt love me?

Answer 1

It means she is worried about what your going to think for some reason.

Answer 2

By past, I suspect that you mean sexual history. Here's the thing: Women are not supposed to be sexual active. Society dictates that men can have as many girlfriends as they want in the past. It makes them more manly. But women are supposed to be virginal. Those that aren't are looked down upon. So you telling your past was no big deal. It just shows that you're a man. On the other hand, when it comes to sex these days, women are also supposed to have had a little bit and maybe she wants you to think she's experienced, too. Maybe she has no past and is embarrassed about that. Sex is such a schizophrenic thing in our society.

Also, some people are just private about their past.

Most likely, she doesn't want you to think poorly of her. If she's had too much sex, maybe you'll think she's a slut and throw her away. If she hasn't had enough, she'll feel inferior.

I remember, when I was a teenager, I asked this girl if she had a boyfriend. "That's private," she yelled back at me. I was just being friendly. Not even overtly sexual. It was just a conversation, but I really hit one of her buttons. Why would this be private? Usually, when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it becomes part of your identity (which makes it that much worse when you break up), so it isn't really private at all. What I realized very quickly was that she didn't have one. Maybe she'd never had one and she was so insecure about it that she was hostile toward me when I asked the question. If she'd just said no, I would have left it at that and wouldn't be telling you about it 20 years later. But her insecurities got the better of her.

And it is insecurities that get the better of most of us and almost all questions about behaviors can be traced to a person's insecurities. She is insecure about something. It is better to let her be and have fun with her that to look into this wound. Besides, who cares what she did or did not do in her past. If she loves you and you have fun together, it is the present and future and the past that you and her have had together that counts and not her past without you. I can't guarantee that she loves you, but I can say that, whether she loves you or not, her not telling you about her past has more to do with her desire that you think highly of her than her not caring about you.

Answer 3

Not necessarily. Perhaps she wants to keep the past the past and focus on the here and now with you. Maybe she's fearful that you will judge her based upon poor decisions that she may have made. Many guys have double standards. Just give her time. When she opens up... you'll know that she's doing so because she feels safe enough to... some people take longer to feel comfortable being that vulnerable.

Answer 4

No it means she may be afraid that she has done wilder things than you and is afraid that if she tells you she will lose you. If I were you, I would tell her that it's ok, that it doesn't matter if she tells you or not that you still want to be with her and maybe she will open up. Sometimes we women do stupid stuff. Just like guys. It doesn't mean that if we had sex with others it was great. It was just that and nothing else and we probably don't even remember it or think about it unless someone reminds us of it and all we think about is.. damn, I wish I hadn't done that... really.

Answer 5

Maybe she has done things she is not prud of. Maybe she has had a lot more partners than you have and she does not want you to think of differently, or something along the lines of that. Because she not ready to share with you does not mean she does not love you. Maybe its alot harder for her to tell you her past since she does love you.

Answer 6

Maybe, but she is obviously not ready to share that with you. I also don't share my past unless I trust the person, it was a turbulent one and I have only one set of pics to show..bruises all over. Showing them to my best friend was even hard for me and it was harder for him to look at them. One thing I do recommend, NEVER show old pictures of former g/f's. I had a b/f that still had a pic of an ex still in his wallet....I hated it. I never showed him pics of ex's or let b/f's take my pictures cause I never wanted to be someone who only ended up on my ex's drawer...know that from experience. Use your best judgment but I trust no one until they have been in my life longer than a couple of months.

Answer 7

Actually, sometimes it's not a very good idea to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend every single thing. I did and everytime my husband and I had an argument in later years, he threw ALOT up in my face. She might have the fear of that. And why must you know everything anyway?

Answer 8

right now i am suicidle and depressed and i have no girlfriend, if i got one i would not tell her right away, i would make the relationship was going to last, and then tell her. i'm not saying that she is depressed but people have reasons to not tell there past, so just lay off for now. let her know though that what ever it is, she can trust you, be safe with you.

Answer 9

It means that she's tried anal and doesn't want you throwing it back in her face when she tells you "no." Besides, do you really want to have visions of other guys doing her when you're trying to do your business? Don't ask, don't tell. That's the best policy.

Answer 10

no it doesnt mean she doesnt love you. she may just not be ready to bring it up or it could have been to painful for her to have to "relive" it again. dont presssure her about it jsut be there for her when she is ready. she will love you more if you dont force her and let her come to you in her own time.