I have finished with a guy twice this week (!) because I feel our relationship is going nowhere. Both times he has apologised and says he does want to see me and is interested. My daughter is at Uni and I now have time to do all the things I want to do..... including dating guys again. I am 37.
This guy I met was very attentive at first but then as time goes by I realise he is very depressed about his ex throwing him out last year and the fact he is no longer part of the family. He says it was over with her long ago. I am not a serial dater and there are qualities about him I really like. Should I hang around or get out quick!!! I realize most people have lots of baggage when you first meet them. I feel I am getting down about 'us' now though, like these should be the happiest times where we are getting to know each other and having lots of fun. I just don't know what to do..... Has anyone else experienced this?
2006-12-09 19:10:31 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like this guy is still hung up on his past relationship and not ready to move on. try to view the relationship as friends if you can and not get to attached.No problem haging around but try to do it on terms that suit you rather than him having the control Good luck!!
2006-12-09 20:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by kate c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personaly think that he should not be getting into a new relationship so early, coming out of a long serious relationship can take a long time to recover for most people, as it appears to be in this case. He is problay feeling very insecure, if you break up with him then it will make him feel even worse, but that is not your fault, so try not to feel guilty if you do decide to finish it for good. It's hard to give an answer to this, because really it is something only you can decide, but if your not happy at this early stage of your relationship then get out!
2006-12-10 03:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by luan r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN, RUN, stop take a breath and then RUN somemore. This is the best it is ever going to be. You have already seen the pattern things have already gone downhill. do yu think that his ex is going away? do you think he is going to suddenly get over it and be attentive to you? the answer to these and all your other questions is NO NO NO. I understand about baggage if you have lived you have some but there are limits. This guy is quicksand and unless you want to get sucked down too get out now.
2006-12-10 03:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by cindyloo f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really up to you ,If you feel you really like him and he kinda needs you so stay with him and try to show a new world of love to him to forget his past and helps him to start over new ,He will be probably more depressed if you leave him and throw him away just like his ex .But it's again up to you because it's not easy to be with him knowing that he cant make you happy in the way you expect from your partner !
2006-12-10 03:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, from experience, it's only gonna get worse. You are the rebound and he's gonna dump his baggage on you. My advice is to leave the guy, but if you want to have a clear conscious, then give him a second chance to prove that he's normal, fun, worthy of putting up with:) Good luck
2006-12-10 03:18:11 · answer #5 · answered by SAM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have to ask yourself whether this man is good enough to wait for,if you think he is then at least give him more time to put some issues behind him.im in a similar situation myself,i met my partner 6 months ago and he had just left his wife because she cheated,she took their 2 year old son away and my partner had just lost his business.he was in a mess when we met but i could see through that.we have been to hell and back but we are now closer than ever and the future looks good.if its still early days for you,give him a little more time would be my advice
2006-12-10 03:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space and treat the relationship as just a good friendship and see what happens ... sounds to me like he's got a whole van load of baggage which he needs to unload before moving on
2006-12-10 03:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by JOHN W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow your heart there are more out there you sound very nice and sure you can do better but i was in the same situation as him 6 months ago slowly getting back on my feet now
2006-12-10 03:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shud cool off a bit with him let him get in touch with u coz he's clearly not over this or talk to him about it an ask he maybe it is to early 4 him 2 b dating again
2006-12-10 03:18:41 · answer #9 · answered by dr_gonzo_1974 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such as life - you seem to get the age where everyone has baggage - personally leave him be - if the fun has gone it's gone
2006-12-10 03:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by Me xx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋