AHH...My 2 year old son JUST WILL NOT listen to me?

Question

esp in public. So lately I have resorted to taking him into the washroom and spanking his bare butt.
Not too hard, but hard enough.
I have tried talking calmly with him (he shakes his head and goes limp with that crap) but I have noticed this asss whipping techinique works for me and for him.
He is a good boy after an *** whipin, he will listen to me once business has been done.
I dont like doing this, but I also dont like having an unruly toddler running around in stores, and sometimes granma needs a break, so I cant leave him there all the time.
Is this a good method, if not, got any oter suggestions.

I also noticed today at IKEA that some old bag was staring at me when I was asking my osn not to touch the items on a stand for UNICEF, he wouldnt listen so I took him into the washroom, and when I came out this old bag gave me a dirty look and kept staring at me.

Answer 1

You say you hit him?
And he still - glory be! - acts like a 2 year-old?
It ain't working!
You'll just have to let him be himself.
What you are doing is abuse. Sorry. No other way to word it. No way to temper that fact.
Kneel down, get on your son's level, and TALK to him. Expect him to act like a two year-old. That "old bag" was absolutely right to look at what you were doing disdainfully. You are hurting your baby.
There is no excuse for hitting. How would you like it if someone hit you every time you behaved in a way they didn't like.
If he is out of control (screaming, throwing things, etc.), carry him outside, let him calm down in your arms, and let him know that the two of you cannot go back inside until he quiets down because people don't like the loud noise, etc.
Let your child know you love him and would never hurt him. Begin by telling him you will never 'spank' him again. Prove it in practice. You'll be shocked at how far a little kindness and empathy goes.
Encourage him to tell you how he feels. It is so difficult to express emotion at that age because of the verbal gap. Talk to him calmly, treat him kindly, and you will receive the same in return.

Answer 2

Corporal punishment is becoming less and less acceptable. But . . . when there is nothing left to do? I don't use it for my kids, but I don't have your problem. Or I don't think I do. My son is not quite 2 and he runs around all the time. My wife has a little harder time with him than I do, but she has him more often than I do. Usually, we put the boy in the cart when we go into a store and we keep the cart in the middle of the aisle, so he won't take stuff off the shelves. I also try to be consistent with punishment for both my kids. That's the hardest thing. Sometimes I don't feel like caring about a particular behavior and, at other times, I do. I have to be on my son constantly to make sure that he doesn't get into things he shouldn't be in. The place we are in right now has all these gates in it, so that he doesn't get into the cat litter and the cat food and so he'll stay in his bedroom at night. We keep things out of his reach. But ultimately, there isn't a great deal that we can do to stop him from running around. He's a talker, but at least he's not loud. And he is pretty cute (For instance, the other night he got out of his crib and came into the family room and he was just so cute about it, the idea of punishing him for not staying in his room after bedtime didn't come to me and we just sat for a while watching TV; he's just that cute). I suspect that 2 year olds listen, but the don't "listen." They can't totally behave. It's just not natural. But they are listening to you and watching you and emulating you. They are also figuring you out and naturally (although not intentionally) manipulating you. Catch the manipulations and end them as much as possible. Don't expect a perfect kid. They don't exist. Parenting is like triage. It's an emergency a minute.

Answer 3

No, hitting people is never a good idea.

The first thing to do is set up expectations beforehand. Make sure you let him know what will be expected as far as behavior in the store. One thing that works tons better than "don't touch" is "one finger touch". Kids can touch most things with one finger without hurting them- Christmas ornaments, fragile figureines, etc.

Also make sure your expectations are realistic. You can't expect a 2-year-old to handle 3 hours of mom shopping for things mom likes without some breaks to look at things he likes (and can touch). Also make sure he is well-rested and well-fed. If he's having a particularly tough time on a given day, realize you may have to try again another day.

You are right to impose consequences for bad behavior but hitting is not it. The consequences do have to be immediate to work on a 2-year-old. What we use with my daughter in stores can be she has to hold a hand, she has to be carried, she has to ride in the cart, she's not allowed to touch anything anymore (putting hands in pockets or folding arms can work for this), or we leave the store. We don't use all of those at once but just one at a time. For example if she's grabbing stuff she might not be allowed to touch anything anymore. If she still does she gets picked up. If she whines and cried about that we leave the store. (and yes, she considers leaving the store a punishment even if she was bored out of her mind in the store. She knows something is happening because of something she did and she knows I'm not afraid to stop what I'm doing to discipline her.) You do have to show him who is boss immediately every time but hitting is not the way. Try reading _Parenting with Love and Logic_.

Answer 4

THIS IS TERRIBLE! Have you not heard of the terrible 2? You SHOULD BE MORE PATIENCE with your toddler and more understanding towards what he is going through. He lives in the moment and he is finding very difficult to go through this period as he get very frustrated. He wants and he does not wants. He needs more attention then ever and definately a constant and repetetive word of good behaviour from you. Don`t get tired of telling him off but DON`T SMACK HIM, it never works and make things even worse. You will turn him into a wick person by putting him down all times. I know it is hard but they do tend to sleep around lunch time for a couple of hours still and that is when I try to do my work wheather in the house or in the shops. You shutting him down after "whiping" him. Don`t do this to the creature you have created and carried for 9 months in your womb. Don`t distroy your hard work. Be a bit more Sensitive towards his present needs!

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I hope this helps

Answer 5

i dont really think it is a good method as it coindones violence and you dont want to completely rule the child until the point where he is so scared of you even to talk to you but on the other hand you cant be to soft and offer a reward you should maybe take something away from the child something that he likes and always plays with like a toy and hide for a day then the next time a week and keep increasing the length of taking the certain item away until the child remembers this every time he thinks about stuffing around or disobeying you and he will evantually listen. no hitting in my oponion

Answer 6

Oh well that is your child and you raise him the way you want, we are who we are today because of the *** whippins we recieved, since you do not like to do the whippin try time out at home it worked for my 2 year old cuz now if he acts an assss in public I go find a corner and put him there. But asss whippin works best for me, time out is great too! If you feel like your child has a problem though which we figured my son did then you should get a hold of ECI early childhood intervention, they will help you work through it they will even come to the store with you if that is where the most of your problem is.
http://www.dadhc.nsw.gov.au/NR/rdonlyres/50B41AD4-57B5-4BF3-8989-FD5A528FADE6/694/ECICP_Procedures_Manual.pdf

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear this..I have a two year old daughter and she act the same way...But she goes to way over board...She wont listen, she hits, bites, spits, pinches, and anything else you can think of.I can ask her something simple like will you pick up the toys for mama and she will scream and start fighting with me.....I don't know what to do either at this point...I have tried conculling for me and her together. I have try-ed the coner thing...well i have try-ed everything even the spanking thing don't work...I never did it hard but i did try it a couple of times....She just gets mad and attacks me. I am pregnant now and really need to try to get her out of it...So if you find anything that works...Please share with me...Thank you very much sorry i couldn't help you.. My email is [e-mail] If you find anything email me please.

Answer 8

The terrible two's your son is just finding himself capable of reaching and touching everything and anything in sight. Spanking in any public place is not acceptable by any means, it doesn't teach him a thing. Use a firm voice and tell him no. By the way this is why they have seats in the carts in most stores and that's where he should be. If you are in a store like Sears hold his hand and keep him close to you. If this is impossible to do you should buy one of those umbrella strollers and keep him in it while you shop

Answer 9

Even at 2 years ancient they're very shrewd little buggars. Don't permit him pull one over on you. YOu have got to set obstacles and penalties for stepping over them while he does...and then you definitely have got to stick with it, be consistant in anything making a decision to do. That's the one manner he'll be taught. If you do not stick with what you might have made up our minds you're going to simplest confuse him, and in an effort to result in different issues. You are the guardian for a motive...he is not ancient ample to make descisions for himself that would maintain him from damage. Learn to decide on your battles too!

Answer 10

my god it's like your child and mine are the same lol.. my 2 year old daughter does the same thing she will listen to her dad(my fiance) but not to me and that same way is the only way i can get her to listen to me..I'm not against whippings when they are appropreiate(sp sorry its late) and with the woman just ignore her, she probably did the same thing to her child and also would probably act like that if she didn't have any children..