Should i ignore them? they hurt me so much....?

Question

I'm 31 now, but when I was a TEENAGER, I was out of control, always going out late, bad grades in highschool & often disrespected & disobeyed my parents. Now that I'm a mature adult, I have changed alot & ended up going to college & getting a license in Nursing. When I turned 21, i started being independent, learned how to make a living & pay my own bills.

I don't get along w/my mom's side of the family (since my mom passed away 10 yrs ago). All they do is talk S H I T about me & tell my little cousins to not hang around me becuz I use to be a "bad teenager". They say I have that bad reputation. I wish that they would look at my good characteristics, the person that I am today & the successful person that I grew up to be. I wish that they did'nt judge me becuz of my past & use me as a bad example to my younger cousins, becuz they do....tell my cousins to not talk to me. I wish they would just stop & get to know me, becuz I am not a teenager anymore =(

Answer 1

I'm 10 years older than you and this is what I've learned. The past is the past. It's all behind you. It's where you are at now. Don't let anyone drag you down. This is your life now and they either accept it or don't. You have nothing to prove to them. What matters is that you are happy with yourself. When the younger cousins get more matured they will read thru the nonsense. If they don't....what does it matter anyway. You have nothing to prove. Sometimes I think people get jealous and they want to drag everyone down to their level. Don't let that happen to you. You are your own person and be proud of where you are at today. Look at what you have done. Gone to college and got a license in Nursing. That's alot of work in itself. It wasn't given to you. You worked for it.

Keep thinking ahead for yourself and do what is right. When someone talks negative about you....Blow it off. You only answer to yourself. Nobody else. Ask Yourself, Does it really matter what they think. Do you regret where you are at because of what they think. No! Last word of advice, don't argue with them and most important.....you are your own person. Keep in control of your life. You have done great this far, why let someone screw it up for you now.
Wade

Answer 2

Oh sweetie I'm sorry. I think you should tell them how you feel. If I was in your position I would call a family meeting. I would Even cry then they would know that I have changed. Also though you did choose to act like that when you were younger and you can't change it know. You should tell some other teenagers to not make bad choices and talk to your younger cousins and tell them that you made some bad choices but everything turned out okay.
Tell them the real you. Good Luck

Answer 3

I am rephrasing this answer to possibly help you out..
Every family is not perfect.
When you was younger,You had done some lucrative stuff (All of us do) and It is wonderful you went off to school and got your license to be a nurse.It tells you that you wanted to change yourself for the better and you did.

Your family members has no right to be feeding information to your younger cousins for any reason.The past is the past and it should be left there.If they want to verbally attack you stating how you was this bad person and can not be trusted, it is best to ignore these people as they are not worth your time.
I am sorry for your moms lost--although it was 10 years ago..I lost both of my parents within a 6 year period and to this date,I don't speak to anyone in my family because they believe they are better than anyone else.
Keep your chin up,You are doing well in life to have these people bring you down!!

Answer 4

It's really great you are out of those time and getting on really well now..congrats.
Families will always talk wether you like or not. I think the best way is to ignore watever they are saying becoz there is no way you can glue their mouth shut.
Do well in wateever you are pursuing right now and arrange some family gatherings during christmas, birthdays and show them how well you have changed in terms of manners and your career.
Get closer and talk more, be more helpful for any sort of family functions. Just prove tat you have changed and ignore watever they have to comment on that. Do your part, rest just ignore.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

I'd go talk to my Cousins and explain that I had some growing pains that made me act poor in the past, but that I'm a totally different person now and they should see me for that!

Can you Father maybe help with this?

Answer 6

hi..im the one you gave me an advice..just want to say thank you..if you just only knew the real happend between me my ex.any way we were legally married here..and i have documents..i guess your right her mother tolerating his son.after we got married he went back to states but you know what he still living with the girl and last yr they separated because he found out the girl cheating that time i dont know all about this.this yr have a new one and he left me again because of the girl.i was stupid cause i trusted hi and loved him.but i just want justice smetimes i dont want to think about the child support and let him go.i admit im still inluv with him but i cant forget all the pain he gave to me...but if i will let him not to support the kids he will do it to a lot women..honestly i dont want any waste of time.i really dont wat to do...

Answer 7

Nop ^^