My friend is a male and he is in love with a girl ...she is the girl of his dreams and tonight he confess something to me...he say he got herpes and he is so concern about it ...he does not want to infect her and also he does not want to tell her about it she might refuse him....To me it is difficult to give him an advise would you tell me how can we help him?
2006-12-09 17:39:38 · 11 answers · asked by Yami 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
This is not even debatable! He has to tell her. Ethically, morally, it is the only thing to do. If he does not agree with this, then he does not truly love her, he is in lust with her. I realize he is afraid and I do understand his emotions but he has no choice. When he tells her, and if she is willing, they can visit a doctor together so she can be well informed of any risk to her, etc. This will help her greatly and possibly put her mind at ease. But she MUST know, and the decision to stay with him must be her informed choice. I hope all goes well.
2006-12-09 17:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Quinn J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he has to tell her one way or another. My ex had type 2, i was so in love at the time i didnt care two years later of unprotected sex and i am still clean (i do the blood test every month) i respected the fact that she told me, and i felt bad because she was a virgin who got licked by the wrong dude. I must say though he's gotta be sure she loves him too before he tells her otherwise it'll be easy to toss him to the side. he should never get physical during an outbreak, and wait a couple of weeks b4 starting up again but if he can cover it with a condom, take his meds and be selibate during an outbreak, she shouldnt get it.
2006-12-09 17:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by DRNOPE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would have to find a cure for his problem first..In the mean time he can be her 'friend' only, until he feels comfortable with her enough to tell her. It's better to start off as good friends and be able to trust each other.
On your question, I don't see anywhere that says he has been with her sexually. So, tell him to get to know her well before telling her about his problem. If she is meanspirited it could hurt him more.. u no? People are different than we percieve. When true colors show and he is comfortable..then be honest about it then. If she is a good friend, she'll understand.
2006-12-09 17:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by jcsas_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves her, then he would not want to give her herpes as well...and if he truly loves her, then it seems that the "mere" act of having sex would be relatively (I say "relatively"!) unimportant. Perhaps you should advise your friend to pursue their relationship without pursuing the sexual aspect of it for the time being. Down the road, he may feel more comfortable sharing his condition with her and allowing her to make her own decision about how safe she feels becoming sexually involved with him. Let's face it--were he to NOT tell her and ultimately give her herpes, too--well, that's not love. That's just horrendous.
2006-12-09 17:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sahara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No-one wants a partner that doesnt respect them enough to be honest. He can;t hide this forever. Herpes is a disease that will NEVER go away, there is NO cure for this. Odds are that she won;t want too be with him when she finds out but that doesn't make it okay for him to lie to her or be dishonest.
2006-12-09 17:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone you will be honest, period. If they are not worth telling the truth to, then it's not love. And her love will come to a stop if he doesn't tell her and she finds out anyways. Knowingly spreading STDs is considered reckless endangerment and assault with a deadly weapon in this country (USA). And your admission proves he knows.
2006-12-09 17:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he has to tell her. He can take Zovirax pills and it will keep him from breaking out but it will not keep him from shedding the disease even if he has not symptoms.
If he loves her then he will have to tell her before he tries to kiss her or be intimate with her.
http://www.drugs.com/zovirax.html
The thing is that she can catch it and if she decides to have children later it can infect her babies.
2006-12-09 17:43:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just needs to give it to her and then blame her in a year or so for her giving it to him.
2006-12-09 17:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by mj24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just encourage him to be honest about it. i believe she will be hurt, but, if she really loves him and is invested, than they'll make a way to make it work.
2006-12-09 17:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by cold runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he jas to tell her so that she knows and if she trully loves him shell except it and still want to be with him even if he has herpies
2006-12-09 17:41:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋