My husband and I don't celebrate Christmas. He thinks its too commercial, and I think I shouldn't celebrate a "religious" holiday that I am not affiliated with. I don't celebrate Hanukkah just because, why Christmas? Anyway, our families are slightly annoyed that we aren't celebrating, but they have dealt with it. The question we keep getting is "But you are going to celebrate it once you have kids, right?" Do you think it is bad for a child not to celebrate a holiday when everyone around them is? I know that Christmas is becoming very secular, but even taking away the religious aspect, my husband would still not like the gross commercialization. Any thought? Thanks.
2006-12-09 17:16:30 · 15 answers · asked by NJ 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I personally feel there is so much more to Christmas than just the commercialism and religious aspect, and I celebrate each aspect in my own way. Christmas isn't just about receiving gifts, it can teach an important lesson about giving to friends, relatives, and even strangers. It is also a time that is very family-centric...and every year when this time rolls around, it serves as a reminder to take a deep breath, rearrange my schedule, and just do nothing but spend time with my family.
There is definitely a reason why Christmas brings joy to people through the whole season and not just one day - the lights, the closeness, the giving, the warmth, the magic, etc, all make people very happy. For me, my family's Christmas traditions have so little to do with presents. It is about us taking time to come together, listen to cheery music and decorating a tree with ornaments we have collected over the years. The time pieces bring back memories, and on Christmas Eve we always stay up really late and watch movies together until we fall asleep.
There are plenty of reasons why people who are not Christians still celebrate - it's the spirit of Christmas that matters most to them. You can still share the holiday without going overboard - maybe by only giving a small amount of gifts, or having a limit of $100 dollars, or doing giving him items that he NEEDS (clothes, school stuff, etc). The reason the holiday has kept going is to see the looks on people's faces.
2006-12-09 19:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by antheia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband was growing up he didn't celebrate Christmas or any other holidays due to his parents religious beliefs (Jehoviah's Witness)... When we got married he began celebrating the holidays with me and our children (his decision)... He now goes completely overboard decorating anything that wont move fast enough waking up at 4 am Christmas Morning and clearing his throat and moving around in bed until he "accidentally" wakes me up (about 4:05) then he says "Oh since your up we can open presents and stuff right?" (I learned the first year saying no it's too early doesn't work he just continues to clear his throat and wiggle til I get up)...
He missed out on the wonder and amazement at the gifts (not those he eceived but those he would have given)... He is now trying to make up for a childhood without that and feels he was cheated...
His younger brother feels the same way and now celebrates the holidays with his wife and children as well...
I know several other people who grew up in the same religion as my husband who feel exactly the same and have chosen to celebrate Christmas and all other holidays as adults...
They are or will be your children and you and your spouse will have to decide what you think is best for them...
2006-12-09 20:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like your relatives are talking about assimilating into the culture...woudl your kids be outcasts when friends come over for hot chocolate and see no tree? Maybe. Would your kids feel dumb not knowing the important religious connection between Christmas and why people celebrate it? Probably. It's up to you how you choose to raise your kids, but do you think a little Reason for the Season would kill them? And do you really think they have a concept of "gross commercialization?" No. There's nothing bad to exposing your children to one of the most cherished traditions/holidays of the year. There's already enough bad in the world; why not let them have a little joy while they're young enough to appreciate the magic? Just a thought.
2006-12-09 17:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sirius's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I grew up a Jehovah's Witness and did not celebrate Christmas, birthdays or man-made holidays. I grew up just fine. You don't miss what you never had and I never felt left out.
Now that I'm married and have 2 kids, we celebrate Christmas and birthdays and honestly, I could live without Christmas (which just happens to be my birthday). I don't believe in the reasons behind the holiday and I think my husband just likes to buy presents for our kids.
If you don't want to celebrate it then don't, but make sure you are firm in your reasons and don't let anyone make you feel bad because you decided to go against the majority.
Just remember, you don't have to do what everyone does, but you should respect their choice to do it.
2006-12-09 18:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by martine_sf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas has secular Pagan roots. It has continually been that approach. The commercialism is anything that's quite new. But it's feasible to have Christmas with out the commercialism, however only a few persons are inclined to check out regardless of how so much they ***** approximately it. Yes it's celebrated religiously by way of Christians however they don't preserve the monopoly on it as it's similarly secular if now not moreso. Yule is what Christmas was once situated off of and is the secular Pagan iciness competition. Pagan encompasses whatever that's now not Judeo-Christian or Muslim. Also, it is non-business. I was once raised by way of persons who had been/are anti-excursion, interval. The infrequent instances that vacations had been celebrated, they went out in their technique to make every person depressing. So I on no account had the completely happy instances that every person else did and I resented it very so much. Plus children are merciless and others gets jealous very without problems. It takes an particularly powerful individual to not get jealous and youngsters aren't able in any technique to manage that variety of factor. Personally I believe it is a unhealthy proposal to deprive your children of anything. Going again to the "children are merciless" factor, he/she will be requested consistently by way of adults and friends alike what they desire for Christmas, and so on and they'll get teased and tormented mercilessly by way of their friends after which marvel what it's they are lacking out on. The secular element is so steeped in culture that the majority persons can not fathom someone now not celebrating. Then you'll get questions about why you're depriving your little one(ren) as it's viewed a variety of little one abuse by way of many.
2016-09-03 09:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by rentschler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of things I consider to be part of 'celebrating Christmas' that are neither religious nor commercialized (since I am not religious and try not to be commercialized).
We put up lights and drive around town to see others', put up a tree and make ornaments like paper chains and popcorn strings, drink hot chocolate, eat together, make crafts, make cookies to give as gifts to friends and neighbors, build a bonfire to lead Papa Noel down the river (I'm from south of New Orleans ... and let me tell you, for the poorer families here, Papa Noel is sure not commercialized; he brings them school clothes and treats like oranges and MAYBE candy), etc.
I think the question is, how much of it will you celebrate? Even if you don't sing religious carols and buy presents, will you put up a tree and stockings? Will he/she know about Santa Claus/Papa Noel/whatever you call him? Could you give homemade presents as gifts to avoid the commercialization (i.e., celebrate the REAL spirit of Christmas)?
I think whatever you choose to do, there are ways to make it not religious and very uncommerical. You can celebrate it at any level you wish. My nephews and nieces celebrate Christmas the way I described above and they don't feel deprived at all. They possibly get ONE 'commercial' present. Since their friends at school all refer to it as 'Christmas', that's what we call it now, but before that, it was our Winter Solstice celebration. And the winter solstice is a very real part of human life on earth ... helping neighbors through the winter, giving generously of yourself to aid those less fortunate during hard, hungry times ... that's what Christmas actually comes from. If you're comfortable celebrating those principles, as we are, it wouldn't be too hard.
2006-12-09 18:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask a child of Pagan heritage or a child of Jewish decent, they don't celebrate Christmas, Jehova Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas. I think it's up to the parents to decide what holidays to celebrate and not celebrate there is nothing wrong in not celebrating the commercialism of the season.
2006-12-09 17:19:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Our family did not celebrate Xmas, I have 11 brothers and sisters, as children it never bothered any of us, our parents raised us in a matter of great character, I still do not celebrate any holiday, and it is not because of the any religious reason,( my father & mother were both of different faiths and my father respected my mothers faith.)
People forget what Xmas, Easter & all the other holidays are really about.
I never felt left out, or deprived, my family were showered with gifts all the time, not just one day of the year.
2006-12-09 17:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by 520 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am a jehovah's witness and i have grown up not celebrating any holidays, only the memorial of christ death. i have to say that i dont miss out on the holidays i dont fell left out i mean we have parties and get gifts all year round just because, so i dont know if that helped any, but try having a just because party where there are presents and friends and games...this is enjoyed just as much..
2006-12-09 18:30:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have kids you should celebrate....i remember going to school with a girl who didn't celebrate and she was the only one in our grade who didn't. she was so sad to this day i feel bad for her....i think in todays world you really should no matter what religion....i feel horrible for kids that don't celebrate to have to go back to school when all the other kids and teachers are talking about what they got for xmas....
2006-12-09 17:29:16 · answer #10 · answered by murr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋