Hi all, I've got a bit of a dilemma. I met a girl through work 5 years ago and we got on really well. When I stopped working there we remained friends and see each other every few weeks for a drink or just to chill out in front of the T.V for a while(it's always been purely platonic). The thing is, that she was quite ill for a few months this year (in fact she still isn't 100% better) and I have been really worried about her. It's really brought home to me how much I care about her and how glad I am that she's getting better. I've bought her a small gift for christmas (It's nothing expensive, but it's something I know she will really like).The last thing I want to do is to make her feel awkward/embarrased,or even worse for her to think that I've had an ulterior motive for being her friend all this time.I would really appreciate a little advice from any ladies out there because I'm completely stumped.Do you think I should give her the gift? or do you have any ides what I can say to her?
2006-12-09 17:13:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Gosh... just give her the gift. If you two have hung out in the past and continue to be friends, even during her illness, there should be no reason for her to think there is an ulterior motive. Tell her what you wrote above... sort of a get-well-Christmas-gift in one. Don't be afraid to give it to her... people give gifts of affection all the time an it doesn't have to mean anything but what it is - a friend to friend gift. Have you given here any reason to think it could be more? Do you want it to be more? Then you need to think about how to approach it. You might want to wait on that until you give her this one and see where it goes.
2006-12-09 17:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Baby Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great question. Not a lady but if I might offer a suggestion or two...?
Give her the gift - your reasons for giving it to her are genuine "It's nothing expensive, but it's something I know she will really like". Her reaction may tell you a lot. Watch out for longer eye contact than normal. Also look out for more touching than normal.
I wouldn't under any circumstances say anything about how you feel UNTIL you have some more idea she's feeling the same way. As you say you don't want to spoil what you have.
To get some idea of what she thinks you might want to start a conversation about how you never get the right girls for you, what kind of woman she thinks would suit you and so on.
There's no need to be pushy, just take your time and let things evolve slowly. They have so far.
As I say, makes a change to read something genuine on here!
Good luck!
2006-12-09 17:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by charlie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give her the gift after all it is Christmas and you never know she has probably got u one 2. Just wondering are you sure that your feelings for her are attraction or i love my friend dearly feelings don't get the 2 mixed up! think about it first cos you don't want to spoil the friendship that you have by starting a relationship and then finding out that you should have remained mates instead. You probably are attracted to her and i think if she reciprocates then that would be great because you already know each other so you would have gone past the getting to me stage in the relationship
2006-12-09 17:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by deb_star_82 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a great guy and friend. You should definitely give her the gift. That is just a gift from the heart, it won't hurt anything. Watch her reaction to the gift. You can tell by her reaction if she wants more out of the relationship or not. Good luck and Happy Holidays! :)
2006-12-09 17:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by anje_s2001 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've been good friends for 5 years, give her the present!! She will know it's because of the friendship you share. Just tell her it's for your poorly friend, you've been worried, and you hope she is better, and when you leave, tell her to take care of herself. She will appreciate you have made the gesture as a good friend, and that goes a long way to make anyone feel better. Oh, and take her some flowers as well!
2006-12-09 22:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww Jon - be honest. Tell her you never realised how much you liked her and that since she's been poorly you've been worried. Tell her the gift is just a little something that you thought she'd like. If you are wanting more from the friendship, I guess now is the time to drop the hint........... Good luck
2006-12-09 18:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by Agony Aunt 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah give her the gift an if you can throw in some yellow roses... Make sure they are yellow because they are for a ever lasting friendship... ;) Good luck an I promise she wont think its weird or get freaked out..
2006-12-09 17:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by ohio_gurl042 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so i know how you feel and everything but the dilima depends on the gift, 10-45 dollers meaning that you should give it to her and if 50-higher then dont give it to her, give her something that you would expect if you were sick (but something not too boyish)
2006-12-09 17:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she would appreciate the thought and the gift- it is nice to know that you are concerned- I'd like it- and appreciate it- take care-D
2006-12-09 17:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless it is a questionable gift, i think you should give it to her. I don't think she would misunderstand, you two are friends, friends exchange gifts.
2006-12-09 17:17:43 · answer #10 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋