I'm 16 and i have been cutting for 4 years, i have been to the hospital 6 times since then, how do i stop?

Question

I am 16, i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, at times hes been abusive, and he was my first sexual partner, and i cant really let him go, and i have tried many times, i cut every now and then, and its because, i have been drinking and doing drugs since i was 13. i have been raped 4 times. i got pregnant at 13 and had a miscarriage because of my boyfriend. i dont smoke or drink that much anymore, but i do cut. I dont get along with my parents at all, or anyone else for that matter, i really need Help! but i dont trust people at all. i have been to psychiatrists and counselors in the past but nothing ever gets solved... what to do?

Answer 1

You probably won't do what i say, but you need to end your relationship with your boyfriend, concentrate on going to school and getting good grades, stop cutting, and get professional counseling. And most of all..........grow up

I'm sorry about you being raped

Answer 2

Your life is hard. I am sorry to hear that. I honestly don't know what advice to give you, but I'll give it a shot.

I think that you need a reason to live. Your behaviour is reckless, you could end up being seriously hurt or killed. Finding a reason to live would help stop such reckless behaviour, because you would love yourself.

You can start going to church. Perhaps God can open your heart and mind. If your not into that then you can get more involved in school. Do community work. Help old people. Volunteer at a hospital. Anything to help you love life and want to help.

You should try to change the environement the you are in and eliminating those bad influences that are ruinining your life. That includes your boyfriend.

Its really hard for you I can imagine.......but let me tell you something sweetheart, unless you have like a huge trustfund or inheritance coming your way.......it aint gonna get any easier. Life is hard. You need your full strengh, heart, mind etc..... to cope with the everyday hurdles that will be thrown your way.

The good news is that you are still young. And it CAN be done!

Good Luck to you
I hope once you've matured everything works out for the best.

Regards

Answer 3

I'm a counselling student and all I can say is that you need to find a GOOD counsellor. If your past experiences with therapy haven't helped, consider that 1) you may not have been ready to really work on these issues or 2) the counsellor might not have been the right 'fit' for you. I know that cutting is not about wanting to die, but instead is usually about wanting to control the pain. People who have been abused or raped often need to feel in control of the pain: ie. how much, when it stops. Also, seeing blood can be a relief because you know you are alive. There is also an endorphine rush that you may be getting from cutting. So, it is very addictive and hard to stop on your own. You really need to get professional help to get this under control. I'm not sure where you live, but you may want to call a distress centre line or kid's help phone to get information on what resources are available in your community. Keep reaching out. And don't listen to those who are telling you that you are messed up or just need to stop. We both know that if you could stop, you would. The cutting is serving a purpose for you... you need to understand what that purpose is and find alternate methods to have those needs met. This can all be explored in therapy. Good luck to you and hold on... it will get better if you keep on trying and reaching out. There is always hope.

Answer 4

First, you should go back to your parents, unless they are also abusive psychos. If you have even half-decent parents, they will always love you and want the best for you, even if it doesn't seem that way. Get rid of your boyfriend, he is trash. I mean it. Finally, and I know everyone is gonna hate me for saying this-- but ever considered letting God into your life? Learn about Islam, Shi'a Islam in particular, but Islam anyways. Then, read the Quran, and be open-minded when you do. If that does not change your life, then fine, just stop, you don't have to continue with it. But there have been many people who have had their lives totally swayed by the Quran alone. If you want, feel free to email me, I can teach you the basics of Islam. I know this all sounds crazy, and superstitious and whatever, but I am really only trying to help. If you don't want that, I can still be there to talk to you-- not to chastise, or insult, but to give advice, and just listen to you. Basically, to be a shoulder to lean on. I know it sounds totally random, but I am willing to extend a helping hand to someone I've never met, because I CARE. So please, before your life gets any worse, drop me an email. I want to help you, and I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. I really don't care if you let God into your life or not, I just know that that is what keeps me running, but if you need an open ear, I'm listening. By the way, I too am a teenager, so I think its easier for you to relate to me, then say, a 45 year old. I'm waiting to hear from you... bless your soul.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Nothing is getting resolved, cause you don't trust people. That can be understandable by your pass that you have given us here. The cutting is a coping skill that you have picked up to cope with your life. As you already know, cutting don't make it go away, at first it might feel like it, but it get so the relieve don't last as long so you have to cut more often.

Once you have been a cutter for the time period that you have been now, and all of the abuse you are getting, it will be hard for you to quit. So the thing is that you are going to have to decide to quit. This is going to be very hard, cause you are going to need to get more positive, and start trusting people. At least some. Since you have not been trusting, that will be a hard thing to know who to , and who to not. It is no matter how long you have or have not trusted. You need to get out of the relationship that you are in if it is that neg. If you don't get along with your parents, well that is another part of the cutting. So that is going to need to be decussed.

By what you are saying here, is you have had a really bad life, and you and your parents don't get along, and your boyfriend is abusive, as many others have been since you have been raped.
So you proably took up cutting to easy that pain that you are feeling that you have stuffed so deep inside .

You need to find someone positive, that you can trust and talk to.
Someone that will listen and not judge, or try to tell you that you don't know what you are talking about, cause you do, it is your life.
Then you need to quit stuffing all of that bad stuff that has happen to you inside. Casue by now you know that cutting is not releaving how you feel anymore. The stress that is overwhelming you. That to get that relief, you have to cut more often now, and that don't last long anymore. So you really need to go and get some help from someone who knows what they are doing. And I am going to tell you now, it is going to take a while, cause you have to un bottle all of that stuff you stuffed for all of those years, and it is going to seem like opening a can of worms and not being able to get them back inside. You are going to wonder if you are doing the right thing. You are, cause the worse thing is to not get that help and not take the first step to getting better, and not cutting, or doing anything else neg to yourself or anyone else to relief the things that are going on in your life.

I would guess that you have a low self-esteem of yourself. So you really need to start looking at yourself at a different point of view. A positive point of view. Cause no one deserves to go through any kind of abusive relationship. You sure don't want to be a cutter for life. So remember, you really need to want to help yourself for yourself. Not for anyone else. Otherwise like you said nothing ever gets solved.

Answer 7

You need to stop and ask yourself "Is this the type of life I imagined?" There is no rewind button in our lives.Something was majorly wrong in your decision making.You're still young if you are studying then concentate on your studies because for many successful people who had such disturbed lives education was their only way out.What has happened happened.Turn over a new leaf.Happiness can only be acheived if you walk on the straight path.I mean religion.I believe your Parents failed to provide you protection.The only way to walk on the straight path is self control.Let me tell you one thing all those ladies you became moms at very young age their biggest regret is not completing their education.I believe that the people around you are not for you but rather taking advantage of you.Its time to make some right choices.Best of luck.

Answer 8

Unless you have actually been in this situation you don't know exactly what it feels like but I think that if you want to stop that it's a step in the right direction. First thing you need to do is look at the boyfriend sitation. It isn't right for guys to be like that. Then you need to find other things to do when you want to cut. I can't actually tell you everything you need to do because I;ve never been in your situation. But like I said, wanting to stop and reaching for help are good starters.

Answer 9

you know i'm everyone's therapist. try me [e-mail]. there is a rape help number 1800 942 6906. also go to rainn.org. try 1800 dont cut. the past is the past. you change the future. look i was suicidal, paranoid on medicine. but now i'm going to college full time. and i'm still suffering from depression, asthma, allergies and migraines. you can try alternative therapy on the net. asktheinternettherapist.com and metanoia.org. also call 1800 lifenet if you feel down. there are sites that can inspire you my friend. beliefnet.com, holisticonline.com, 1stholistic.com which has inspirational readings.and self-helpnow.com, innnerself.com, more-selfesteem.com, concentration.org, selfgrowth.com. your life will get better. i've seen it. i won't let you down. i'll try to help you out.

Answer 10

I used to be just like you. Eventually I started to accept me and care about myself and wanted to improve myself. I started to care about the subjects that interested me in school and stopped using drugs and dating a lot of men. I focused on my school interests and now I'm in law school! You can really turn your life around when you start to care abut yourself.

No matter how much you have hurt yourself and others have hurt you, you are a person worth love, love from herself to herself. Only you can look out for you now that you are a young woman. You know this boyfriend is not the one you want to be with for your life. You don't need him around you anymore. Instead of turned a blade to your body, talk to someone. I know its hard to trust anyone, but you have to make a change. I know you can do it. Feel free to email me anytime. [e-mail] I can give you my cell phone number. You can also call a crisis hotline. Don't give up on you! You can do it! It's OK to be sad right now. You'll get through this! You'll see!