Yes, I already know what I have gotten into, no need to remind me of that! He was not married when we met, although I knew he was with someone else. I also knew he would never leave her as he does not have the personality to do so. The only reason I kept and keep seeing him is because there is a completely indescribeable feeling of "perfect" when we are together. Even when we are not, I am happier than I have ever been. Yes, I know I should not see him out of respect for his wife, but at the same time, he is the one who makes all the effort to see me. It seems like the sex gets more and more intimate (not kinky...but rather real closeness) each time. I have spoken with a Psychologist and she wants me to make the decisons that I feel in my heart and head are right for me. This "relationship" feels right. It gives me all the love and closeness I want with the freedom to live a fulfilling life of travel and art, education. I enjoy having no ties anywhere...
2006-12-09 16:59:11 · 5 answers · asked by sweetsouth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am late 30's very nearly 40. He has reasons he is with her and I respect that enough to not push him to leave her. Even though, if he honored himself (his feelings and needs) he would. No children involved. I have known him for a while and he seems very sad, almost downtrodden lately. I do not know what "type" (ie..affectionate, loving, caring, sharing) relationship he has with her, but I have seen him cry at the thought of losing me.
2006-12-09 17:23:19 · update #1
You must still be relatively young, which is okay. I say that because as you age how you view things change. In the 20s most people want to please others. In the 30s the concern shifts to how you feel and getting your own needs met. As you get older- you won't give a rats butt what others think but will do what feels right to you. Just an observation as I have "aged" (although if I'm accused of "aging" I tell the accuser that they are uttering a "dirty" word).;-)
2006-12-09 17:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as you. I am involved with a guy who is married and I don't want him to leave his wife. I really enjoy spending time with him, but I also like having my freedom to do what I want when I want too. If it feels right to you, then I would say keep doing what your doing. But if your feeling guilty about the wife, then you might want to consider talking to him about it. Before I got involved with my guy, we sat down and talked about all of this. I knew going into it that he was married. You just have to follow your heart and if he makes you happy, then be with him. Just be careful with your choices and good luck.
2006-12-09 17:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by confused angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This comes down to one simple thing: Is your happiness worth screwing his wife over? Is your happiness more important or more right than hers is? Unless they are in an open relationship, I doubt she knows about you. And I doubt that if she did, she would give her husband carte blanche to be with you.
Now imagine that there is a third woman, who is sharing this man with you, that you don't know about. How would you feel about this? Now imagine that he left her and married you and then you found out about the "other woman".
I'm a firm believer in living your life the way you want to, as long as you harm no others in the things you do. Ask yourself if you are doing harm, to him, to her, to their kids (if there are any, if there may be any).
2006-12-09 17:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you know your situation and you seem to be fine with the fact that you are not the one who he goes home to, so really its a question of whether or not you want to be the "other" woman. No matter how "perfect" it feels between the both of you... it would really be perfect if he was all yours!
Truly
ElleXiz
2006-12-09 17:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by Ellexiz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...what you two are doing is wrong...
talk to him and make him choose. Dont be the other woman. If his wife finds out, she can/might divorce him and you will be brought into the divorce as a 'home wrecker' and you can get into deep trouble with that.
Like I said, make him choose. He's cheating on his wife- he obviously doesnt love her.
IF he does choose her and chooses to end your relationship, you need to realize that and understand it; leave them alone and move on.
Good Luck with everything...
2006-12-09 17:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by da_nikkster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋