My mom is around forty years old and I am in my mid-teens (15). In my family it seems that I am always arguing wiht my mom. I have a sister and a dad too, we are a full family not divorced. My dad and mom usually do not get into arguements with her because they are usually more passive. Once and a while my mom just ends up yelling at my dad. I notice that alot of my arguing with my mom stems from the fact that she thinks she is absolutely perfect and my arguementative personality. She told me I was wasteful one day and I asked her if she had wasted anything in her whole entire life and she said no. Whenever I prove something to her such as a fact, like lets say we argued about the percentage of people with aids and I went on a website and showed her I was right, (she loves to make up fake information and say that she read it somewhere) she would say that she can't remember everything because I'm so loud. These behaviors might stem from her mother who does the same exact thing.
2006-12-09 14:56:56 · 15 answers · asked by Helpppppp! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Smile and say, "Absolutely! Mom, I totally get you on this one!" Stand up and say, "It makes perfect sense to me now. I mean, waste is waste. What I have wasted as cost money, it has cost YOU money! And as we both WELL understand, money requires work and effort. It appears to me that I don't have a job but dad does, and it is therefore his money I have wasted!"
"Mom, I cant thank you enough for enlightening me on this, and I want you to rest assured tonight that I will no longer engage in such behavior."
Then, when she leaves line of site, do whatever it was you were going to do to begin with...
2006-12-09 15:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by RScott 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you said yourself that you are argumentative so I'd suggest you start showing your Mom a little more respect and stop being so argumentative. As per your example, she said you were wasteful, maybe you are, since your 15 you aren't the one buying things and paying the bills, you take for granted as do most people still living with their parents all the things that have to be paid for. And maybe she isn't and hasn't been, people your Mom's age and older were brought up differently. The kids today and most of the last couple of generations were brought up spoiled. Like when I drive by the high schools here, most of the cars in the parking lots are full of newer (and a lot of brand new) cars. People from your Mom's generation had to work and buy their own older used cars. Parents didn't buy them for them. Think and ask questions about how your parents were raised and you might look at them differently and more respectfully.
2006-12-09 15:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
3 words:
Pick your battles.
The percentage people with AIDS is not worth fighting over. Spending your life proving people wrong will just make you bitter and depressed. My motto is, If it is not going to hurt me or someone I care about directly, let is slide. People will like you more and you will not be stressed from your own negativity.
Another key thing, never say, "No" to parents, say okay. Okay is an aknowledgement that they said something not an agreement to do it.
So I used to tell my Mom "Okay" and do it my way when I felt like it within reason. With Okay they will not insist on it now, because they have the comfort of believing you aknowledged what they asked and there is no need to monitor you until it is done.
Another thing I used to do with my parents growing up, is if they started literally screaming and being irrational, I would say, "I am leaving now, when you have calmed down and are ready to discuss this logically we can talk again". and then I would actually leave.
2006-12-09 15:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by Wyleeguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't argue with her. If you're going to argue, just don't talk unless she talks to you and keep conversations short and sometimes it's just easier to pretend to agree rather than make a big deal out of it. Seriously. Ever since I became less argumentative I get so much more respect and admiration from people. You avoid conflict, and it makes you look like the bigger person. Also, don't take an argument so far that you go on the internet trying to prove you're right, and then showing off in front of her. That's just making a bigger deal out of it than it is. Just be quiet and calm.
2006-12-09 15:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by leena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting ages. Your Mom may be entering menopause and you are still developing. Both of you potentially have hormones that are fluctuating all over the place. To the specifics of your situation. You and your mother sound like similar personalities which often leads to conflict. Adults always appear irrational to teenagers. Since you know you argue with your mother, it may be necessary to force yourself to just walk away from the situation and let her have her opinion.
If you can find a way to have a calm discussion about your relationship with her then go for it, otherwise, just accept that you don't get along, Sooner or later, you will get along with each other.
Good luck,
2006-12-09 15:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by St N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah. wow. that's a bit drastic. she invents things like statistics just to win? my mother isn't THAT horrible, but at least you get to have arguments with her. consider all of those kids out there (me being one. im a junior and my parents figure that this is the MOST IMPORTANT YEAR OF MY LIFE. in other words, they get to dictate everything) that cant argue with their parents. i was raised to be polite and never talk back to them, and so if i say the smallest thing, i get yelled at even more and that 'im disappointed in you' look. ugh.
i supposed the only thing you can do is try to get along with her. if she says something, dont say anything back. i mean, NOTHING. then maybe she'll get the picture that arguing with her is stupid, especially because she'll start to sound dumb for trying to start fights with a person that doesnt have any opinion of anything. then maybe one day, you'll speak your mind, and wont get yelled at. i hope that you dont argue with your grandmother as well...
2006-12-09 15:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by give it to me baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one is perfect, but being a teenager i assume you are probably being a brat as well, just try not to argue with her so much, you would feel bad if she was'nt there one day.just try being a little more passive towards her, but let her know nicely how she makes you feel when she tries to act perfect.
2006-12-09 15:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This book should be read by women and teenage girls or even anyone who has ever felt lonely or misunderstood, it's amazing,
http://astore.amazon.com/mwer-20/detail/0670061050/103-6324135-9835818
2006-12-10 07:05:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you can help her and yourself.. you tried talking to her about it? i have that kind of relationship with y sister.. when we are talking.. it's actually more of arguing.. i dno why.. i always say to myself just calm down or shup up. but i can't .. i just have to say it.. maybe your mom is like me.. talk to her about it.. tell her how it makes you feel.. yeh.. i know.. real cheesy.. but still.. you never know.. you might learn something..
2006-12-09 15:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by crztna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silent Treatment works or agree with her the entire time (that will drive her crazy)
2006-12-09 14:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by Toxie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋