My g/f was raped a few months ago(not by me) and ever since then has only worn big baggy clothes that don't show off her hot body. Is this normal?? Why does she do this??She got consuling.
She reported the guy too.
Why does she do this?? Is it normal for people who were raped b4??
Why would she be this way?? Why isn't she ok with her body anymore?? She even quit gymnastics so she wouldn't have to wear leotards anymore.
Does she blame herself and is trying to change herslef b/c of this??
2006-12-09 14:43:18 · 39 answers · asked by Kiah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Will it change eventually?? She says she is beginning to feel better again, so will it change soon?? I hate seeing her like this.
2006-12-09 14:44:06 · update #1
What she needs is time. Back off and let her be. Have her continue her counseling, which is crucial to her recovery.
2006-12-09 14:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that. She had something pretty horrific happen to her. It's only normal that she takes a while to get back to a state of normality. The problem is, she might never be the same person she was before the rape happened.
It might take her years to recover from this horrible thing that happened to her. She needs you to be understanding and supportive right now, especially since she's feeling vulnerable. Rape isn't just a physical act, it also takes a lot of power away from a woman. In her own eyes, she's weaker now, and damaged.
Keep encouraging her to get the counselling, she sounds like she still needs some help coping with this.
Good luck!
2006-12-09 14:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you worried for your GF's condition?
OR Are you worried that she will not show off her "hot" body again?
Let me say it again and I want to make sure I don't take you a wrong way, but according to what you have said, you sound just like you dont really care about how your girl is doing. Instead, you are more worried about how she looks.
If this is the case, you need to get over yourself. You girl has been hurted and that is one of the worst horrible craps can ever happen to every women. Give her a break! She just got raped for God's sake. She probably wears loose clothings because she doesn't want to attract attentions from an opposite sex anymore. It's only been a few months. This kind of stuff can take years.
Who cares if she prefers to wear loose clothes anyway? Her choice, remember?
2006-12-09 14:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
After someone gets raped, they usually feel unclean, or impure. They just feel wrong. Maybe she dresses that way because she's afraid if she shows off her body even a little, it'll attract a guy who might rape her. Rape victims sometimes blame themselves (usually it depends on the decision). It is good she is getting consuling and things get better with time. I'm not a psycologist so i can't say all of this with 100% certainty, but I'm pretty sure I am right
2006-12-09 14:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that you hurt for her and I am sorry for both of you, yes it is normal for her to dress this way, she may feel "dirty" which is a normal feeling for a rape victim, yes she may be blaming herself and that too is normal, it sounds like you are very worried because you know this is not the real her and the best thing you can do is just be there for her listen to her and don't push her she will heal in time but that time can not e measured as it is different for everyone. Good luck and I'm sorry hope she gets better.
2006-12-09 14:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by LesHug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a normal reaction to being raped. (I never have been, but I know these things. :) ) I don't know if she blames herself..but she probably feels gross and like an object. She most likely needs someone to lean on. She is going through a rough time. The best thing that you could do is to let her know that you are there for her, and that you don't feel any different towards her and that you don't blame her. Also...don't try to go "too far" with her. That's all I can say. Hope I helped. :)
2006-12-09 14:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by em<3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rape is a very hard thing to deal with and the best thing you can do for her is to be supportive. If she wants to cover her body, then let her. Telling her that she shouldn’t isn’t going to help. You have to understand; rape is a violation. Think about what YOU would be like if you got raped. Men do get raped, and not just in prison. As some one who has gone through the same thing, I can sympathize with her. She’ll be able to move on with her life, but no one can tell you how long it’s going to take.
2006-12-09 14:51:21 · answer #7 · answered by Dreaming of You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's only a few months ago, that really doesn't seem like long enough to get over a rape. She needs time - it takes some women years.
If I were you and wanted to show my affection for my girlfriend, I would worry less about her covering up "her hot body," and more about how to help her with the anxiety and possible depression she might be feeling.
Give her time - and your love.
2006-12-09 14:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is normal. Rape doesn't just happen and then not matter after a while. This is something that could hang on for a much longer time. Is she ok with her body when you two are alone together? How much counseling did she get? I'm guessing not enough yet.
2006-12-09 14:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man she was violated in the most horrific manner.
She is scared out of her wits and does not want to give off the kind looks that might get her hurt again. You need to not push her and leave her alone on this subject.
She will never be the same as before this crime happened and has some serious mental scars to heal.
2006-12-09 14:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by Biker 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is very sad that she was raped. ive had a few freinds who have been through this wanst dating any of them at the time but maybey i can shed some light on it and tell you a few tips. basicly wahts going on is she feels violated (duh) but she feels it probably souldnt happen if she wasnt so attractive. she doesnt want to be thought of as an object so tell her how much you love her for more than her body, and (i know this sounds hard) tell her youd never sleep with her if it made her happy even if you two were together for a billion years just becasue you like being around her and shes way more than a body to you.
2006-12-09 14:47:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋