I have been seeing someone who, as a self-admitted commitment-phobe, has finally agreed to enter into a monogamous, committed relationship with me (after a 2.5 year on-and-off again "relationship"). I am very happy with this as I really like him a lot and have been hoping for his commitment for a long time. However, he has a "really good female friend" whom he says he still likes to cuddle with. They have been good friends for the last 5 years, and I don;t know all the details of their history. He told me about it straight up, saying, "I have a really good female friend that I still cuddle with. But don't worry, it's purely platonic. We're just friends."
But I am worried. I'm jealous even. I want to trust him, but I don't think it is possible for a man to cuddle with another woman without it meaning anything. Can men be monogamous and love a woman while cuddling another "good female friend?" Do I have a right to be concerned?
PS This girl is moving away to a different state in Feb.
2006-12-09 14:32:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that's weird.
2006-12-09 14:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
errr.... I feel your pain. I don't think this a great idea. At the very least she will be too close for comfort on the extreme ...Something may happen between them. . . Of course that's NOT what their planning but why tempt fate by putting them together if it can be avoided! Yeah , and don't let her "im so religious I would NEVER do that crap fool you " Anyhow, I think you should tell him that you would find this arrangement NOT suitable. Many times a man can't get how a woman feels about a situation UNLESS you turn it around and ask how HE would feel if you lived with platonic male friend. Anyhow, I would not yell, scream or cry but I would let him know there are other ways to find affordable rent. Before you go see him tonight get out the newspapers and check out Craig's list... Do some research to show him there are affordable solutions that will make BOTH of you happy. * Try looking in slightly less desirable location for lower rent. *Try looking at rent just a room with bathroom and kitchen privileges. ( he's with you a lot so he could shower at your place) * Look for a another share house with stranger(s)That's cheaper than the current place. In closing you are not asking for too much by asking that HE NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS WOMAN. Mother Theresa ( is she were alive and dating of course) would not be able to put up with that situation... Good Luck !
2016-05-23 01:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would be jelous too you have every right to be. he's your man your supposed to be the only one he touches. i dont think he would have gotten into a relationship with you if he was just going to fool around with this other girl whom you know has been his friend for 5 years. He could have dated her but he chose you. If she's leaving in FEB its just around the corner. I'd let him know it bothers me that he still does this and you'd like for him to stop but i really wouldnt worry to much about it. She's about to be gone then you will get your man back.
2006-12-09 14:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be platonic as he says.
But I would be suspicious and jealous like you.
I have a principle that men and women cannot have platonic friendships. The male will end the friendship whem he's sure the female will never sleep with him.
Here are some things I'll use to gauge the situation:
Did he introduce her to you? Does she act normal in your presence?
Does he behave normal if you three are together.
2006-12-09 14:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do have the right to be concerned. Just don't get too concerned,because then it'll seem like you don't trust him at all. But remember that she is leaving soon.
2006-12-09 14:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by spirit22poet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lemme explain something..he's a guy..if his thing even comes in contact with anything that has a heart beat its gonna get hard....the wind blows 10 degrees to the north and i get one...how do you think its possible that he cuddles with some chick on the couch and doesn't get hard...dont fool yourself
2006-12-09 14:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by dave v 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if shes leaving the state in feb. then dont worry about it, and also the fact that he would tell you means it's innocent. if it was more then just friends he would not of told you
2006-12-09 14:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
UHhhhh hello??
Men that are in a relationship shouldn't even hang out alone with the opposite sex unless they are related....
wow.. Leave him. He is using you. Or using her and either way that is disrespectful and WRONG towards you.
2006-12-09 14:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by Phatstar 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋