Should I have a "talk" with her or "break up" with her over this?

Question

Since she lives out of state, we text eachother everyday. I know its long distance, so I know its supposed to be hard. We haven't talked over the phones since Thursday night. She was tired and passed out, so we didn't talk last night. I texted her saying we couldn't talk because I'm sick and had to study(two days before finals week), she texted me back like, "Thats okay, I'm at a party so I really can't talk." So if I wasn't sick tonight, then we wouldn't have talked anyways because she's at a party......I know this is long distance, but I want more than texts. I want to talk to her, everyday, for like a half hour, I'd be completely content with that. Although I don't talk much, I just listen to her. I'd be totally happy just having her on the other end of the phone. Is this too much to ask? A half hour phone call each day? We don't get to see eachother a lot, I didn't think a phone call was too much to ask for since we don't see eachother a lot. I love her but I want more.

I love her and she doesn't know. (I'll never tell her). But I don't know if I should talk to her about this phone call thing or just break up with her.

Answer 1

You say you love her but you will never tell her. I think you have answered your own question. It doesn't sound as if this relationship is working out very well. A long distance relationship is very difficult - even when both people regularly tell each other of their love. At the very least you both need to talk about what you want from each other and what your expectations are in terms of this relationship. If there is a big gap between what you want and what she wants, then it may be time to move on.

Answer 2

Hi,

No, you are not asking too much, and I can understand your wanting more, but it sounds like she is perhaps a little preoccupied.

How about if you not communicate for a day or two and let her make the next move.

There is a saying I am sure you have heard, if you love someone, set them free, if they return, they are yours forever, if not, then she just answered your question and a break is the only viable option.

I would just not contact her and see what happens. Sounds like you don't have anything to lose the way things seem to not be going.

Sometimes it is a little easier being on the outside looking in, as a person tends to see the bottom line, whereas a person in the relationship, cannot always see the forest for the trees.

I hope it all works out for you, if not, you may be happier meeting someone without the complications of a long distance relationship.

Take care of yourself,

Darryl S.

Answer 3

You are contemplating breaking up with her over that? If I had to guess, I'd suspect you are getting a bit jealous of her being out at a party having fun. If she had texted you from the library saying she couldn't talk, would your reaction be different? Just talk to her tomorrow. Let her know you missed not talking to her the past couple days but don't make her feel guilty for going out to a party. If anything, ask her how the party went and show appreciation if she expresses having a good time.

Answer 4

If you guys haven't made any serious committment to each other - like saying 'I love you' or engagement, then you really don't have a leg to stand on in wanting to control her behavior. Demanding a phone call every day is controlling.

If you're not comfortable with the level of intimacy you currently have, either step up the level of committment with a clear and egalitarian talk about the status of your relationship and your comminication. Or break up.

But sitting around being pissed at her for something she didn't agree to do isn't fair.

Answer 5

I think 30 minutes a day could be excessive. It depends on the person. Maybe she isn't the type that has to talk to you every day to be satisfied with this long distance relationship. It would be selfish to break up with her over this. I believe that communicating your feelings to her (in a calm manner) will persuade her to consider your feelings. It is possible that taking a trip to see her might help you feel better about the situation

Answer 6

ive been there man. i was in the same little pickle your in right now... i met this girl in an aol chatroom when i was thirteen. we started emailing, and emails led to phone calls. then finally at the age of sixteen we decided on giving it a shot. for me, only living a state away from her, and having met her, i thought i could work out. we talked on the phone everyday, texted, etc. but take it from me, long distance relationships dont work out. sorry bro. you may have known her your whole life, but dont count on it.

so my advice is this: do whatever you want. but theres still a slim chance that its gonna work out anyway. especially if shes going to parties, meeting other guys, etc.

sorry

Answer 7

find out what are her feelings.
you don't have to break up , try to understand that maybe is hard to talk on the phone when you don't know what to say.
if you want conversation find good subjects , or just tell her what were you doing yesterday in a fun way, make jokes.
the distance is hard, a few relations resist.
remember that an interesting person is hard to forget.
Be interesting for her.

Answer 8

Long distance relationships aren't usually worth it and don't work out in the end. Move on and find a relationship closer to home.

Answer 9

For God's sake call her every night for half an hour and tell her how you feel. People waste too much time avoiding true feelings. I could never get that. Just do it and say it. Simple!!!

Answer 10

A relationship is more than a voice on the phone. It is a series of compromises and promises...if there are no pormises, no compromises...there is no relationship...just because you want, and you love, doesnt make a relationship happen. Move on...Im sure you can find someone who cares about you like you care about them.