Before we go anywhere, if anyone says "just be yourself", you will not get a best answer. i am sick and tired of reading this because "being myself" involves social inability and failure in various aspects.
I feel i am missing a critical aspect that causes me to not be invited to hang out and parties and stuff. people talk to me and stuff, but seem not to show that much of an interest in things.
to be honest, i don't know how to be included in a group. I'm clueless, allright? i don't know how to get myself included, or to be social. I am missing that key factor that people need to make a bunch of friends and date girls and stuff, and i don't even know what it is, let alone how to fix it.
yes, i am going on here looking for consolation and help. nobody seems to be able to understand my predicament. my school counselor could not seem to comprehend what is wrong when i asked her about trouble dating, she just said i was too young to date, making it worse. What do i need to ask
2006-12-09 13:50:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
girls out successfully and hang out with groups and get my own circle of friends? what am i missing?
i just don't know how. no self-help or advice site ever seemed to take this possiblity into consideration, so i'm left out in the cold here (really, that's the perfect analogy!). Help please!
and DO NOT say "be yourself"!!!
2006-12-09 13:52:45 · update #1
your problem is that you are so focused on yourself and your own feelings of ackwardness, you are not seeing beyond it.
If you want to be social, then YOU can invite people to do stuff. Don't sit there and wait for someone to ask you, you do the asking, you plan the event, you pick the movie, the bike trip, the museum visit.
2006-12-09 13:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I can help idk but I will try
I had the same problem as you.Its almost impossible to explain to people.you just feel different and not accepted like your in the group but not part of it.like whenever you talk people r not interested or just blow u off with a one word answer.I know the feeling like you cant change and you will never fit in or be accepted.I was tired of feeling like that and needed to change.You just have to put it behind you and pretend you are popular and everyone likes you.
Heres my advice to try and fix the problem it might be bad advice idk but it worked for me.
Before you go out listen to some fast paced music and have something that gives you energy like coffee choccolate sugar pretty much anything you like.
Then just walk into a group and pretend your confident and just talk about whatever the group is talking about make sure to laugh and act like you are having a good time soon it will become easier and you should make friends and be accepted.
Also throw a party or invite people to do stuff when you feel more confortable around them.
As for dating idk because I have never dated anyone so I cant help you with that.When people see that you are confident they will be attracted to you.Just smile and try to hold a convorsation and im sure someone will like you.
also you could have a disease called asburgers or social phobia those are things you cant help and are born with but most people growout of it or it becomes unnoticable as you get older.You might want to research that idk.
Hope my advice helps
I cant help you 100% because im shy and ahve the same problem.
2006-12-09 22:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Josie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so you talk to some people right! well start there. . . don't wait for them to call you CALL THEM! don't wait for them to invite you places ASK THEM PLACES. . . get a group to go the movies or something. . .people will start including you if you make and effort to include them . . .also it sounds lame but find a club or activity that you like, or at least can stand, it is a good way to meet people more like you. . . as for the dating thing i would just make friends with girls with the ways i said before. . . the best dates come from those you meet as friends plus you'll have the best times with them and actually have stuff to talk about. . . so yea take time to invite and talk to people and they will reciprocate for you :) hope that helps
2006-12-09 22:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be ourself. JUST KIDDING!! Ok, apparently being yourself isn't the right idea cause it hasn't worked. First of all, what kind of groups are you wanting to hang out in? You are going to have to conform to whatever they do. Ok, so start talking to a few of them diring and after classes, or whenever you can. Find a common interest and talk to them about that. And figure out what they do for fun and start doing it. Like if they skate, then get a skateboard and startskating with them, etc. Good Luck and I hope your luck turns around with this!
2006-12-09 21:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by #1 Buckeye Fan!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, all it takes is to get in good with one person that every one likes, I know it sounds hard but it's not, there are a ton of social groups out there the question is which one do you belong to and which one do you want to belong to. If it's the jocks at your school who you like to be around then take up a sport, if it drama, well then drama, it's so easy to just walk up to some one and start to talk to them it's not that hard, your problem lies with in you, you don't believe in your self, that is your major obstacle to over come, I recommend that you do something crazy like sky dive, or bungee jump, that always opens peoples eyes and ears. Good luck, have fun, and be who you want to be not what you think you are.....
2006-12-09 21:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by matt v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ja..I know the" be yourself" replies aren't useful as they only generalize, comeing from people who are in a hurry to answer the next question.
You are still in your teens. So, you still have plenty of time. Tell you what, make yourself unique (and I don't know what that would be for your situation) and people will be interested in you. Make sure you are a good friend, and people will want you. Be enjoyable, and people will love to be in your company. One of the great turn-offs that many young people face, and you can see it by watching Answers, is insecurity. I know most kids are insecure, so they try to find someone who isn't to lean on.
2006-12-09 21:54:19 · answer #6 · answered by Benvenuto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. I have it as my goal before my school's holiday break to talk to this girl at my lunch table that I really like. I am going to have my friend come with me to go up to her the next time and then I will have confidence to talk to this girl.
You should do the same thing I am doing and go up to a girl with one of your close friends first and then when you get comfortable talking to her your friend will not need to go with you.
2006-12-09 22:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take interest in something. When people have similiar interests they group. What do you like to do? Find people who like to do what you like to do. Or make your own group, make people follow you. Be a leader, live your life in a way thats "real" and inspiring. So others mimic or follow.
2006-12-09 22:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by 12ated12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw a party and invite like everyone and don't worry about what people think about it. I'm sorry if that don't really help but your situation sounds sorta weird lol
2006-12-09 21:56:57 · answer #9 · answered by cndrll_1613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats deep but i cannot answer
2006-12-09 21:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋