My daughter is 4 and a half and every single day she messes her room up. When I ask her to clean it she won't, she'll throw tantrums and just refuse to clean up. Do you think she is too young to clean her room? I mean, I make the bed and put the clothes away, but should I be trying to encourage her to be responsible enought to clean up her toys and books?
2006-12-09 13:45:38 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You can encourage her to do simple things. Put toys in a basket, pile books on a shelf, put all her shoes in the closet. Things like that.
Asking her to dust or put away large items, though, is a bit much. Also make sure your system for putting things away makes sense to her. You're not one of those parents who MUST have all the blue toys on one shelf, etc, are you? If so, that's too advanced.
Encourage her to do what she can. She is quite old enough to do the things I listed.
Tell her once that if she refuses to put something away, it will be thrown out. We had to do that with my nephew and haven't had the tantrum problem since. You just have to follow through. Tell her to start stacking books or you will throw them away. If she doesn't do it, head to her room with a trash bag. Same with toys and shoes (You DO have to be specific. "Clean your room" doesn't mean much to a 4-year-old. "Stack your books" or "Put all the cars in this basket" does, though.). Of course you don't have to actually throw them away, but she should not get them back. Donate them to Goodwill or something. It will only take a few times.
2006-12-09 13:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is two and when I say Clean your room she will put all her toys away and she will also help me fold her laundry and put it away but i can be in one room and tell her to pick up her room and she does a GREAT job so i can imagine that at 4 I will expect much more as is making the bed and putting her clothes away... It also really depends on your own daughter my sister in law had a 6 year old that wont clean her room and does the same as your daughter. So I guess every situation just might be the same but try helping her like being really interactive in putting it away with her then slowly after repetitive days back off .. let her do the toys while you watch instead of helpiung but then still help with laundry and then the next few days take something else away like dont even watch her do toys just say clean all your toys and ill be right back and see what happens... This worked for me..
2006-12-09 13:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think that she should be able to clean up her room. I have a 5 year old and I make her clean her bedroom, her playroom, and help me fold laundry. I think it is important for her to learn these responsibilities. Something that I have done that really helps (I dealt with the tantrums for a long time as well, and still have to persuade her from time to time)...I made a chart. It is laid out like a calendar but it has seven columns. One for each day of the week. then it has several rows that list different responsibilities...cleaning room, cleaning playroom, vacuuming (not with a regular vac, just one of them they make for kids that actually sucks stuff up...it teaches her..), laundry, manners, and school. each day before bed we look at the chart. If she cleaned one of the rooms...or both, she gets a sticker there. if she vacuum's, she gets a sticker. if she has good manners (and a good attitude about her "chores") she gets a sticker, if she gets a good "mark" in her folder from school, she gets a sticker. At the end of the week, we add up the stickers and she gets a quarter for each sticker. She is free to spend the money on anything she wants, or she can save it for another time. It helps her have a positive attitude about doing these things, and it also teaches her the value of money. Funny enough, the only thing she is saying she wants for Christmas is a toy cash register. She is really having a great time learning about money. And I am enjoying the fact that she likes to help around the house.
Good luck!! I hope this helps a little.
2006-12-09 13:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by Pepe-mint 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No I don't think that is at all wrong. My daughter is 2 and she helps me clean her room we like to sing the clean up song while we do it (clean up clean up everybody everywhere). Pick up blocks, help put clothes and toys away, put her books on the book shelf. It's good to teach them responsibility at a young age just remember to encourage her "Thank you for picking up those blocks you did a good job" it will make her feel good about herself in the long run.
2006-12-11 03:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Me, again 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all - my daughter is only 2 1/2 and she has to make her bed every morning already (not done so well that you can bounce a quarter on it, but at least the comforter has to be straightened out). I don't think a four year old is too young to know that is she makes a mess she has to clean it up.
2006-12-09 13:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my 4 yr. old son. Every 10 mins. I got check to see if he is making progress if he isn't then I make him sit in the corner for 4 minutes. Then he goes back in to clean if not same thing. It has worked for me. Every once in a while he will get in a mood but normally only 1 time out is given. Also, I have little bins to help organize and I put a couple of each in the bins for him to see. I think they can get over anxious b/c of all the stuff they need to do.
2006-12-10 08:01:51 · answer #6 · answered by lindseym 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong. Do what I did, when my children refused to pick up their toys and books. I said, "Fine I will do it, but you will not like it." i got a trash bag and picked them up and "threw everything away" They threw a fit and I calmly told them that I bought I can sure throw it away, they do not any toys if they will not take care of them. That was the only time I had to do that, after that when I told them to pick up their things, the sure hopped to it without any argument. My youngest are 3 and soon to be 2 and they both are expected to pick up their toys. When children are old enough to understand simple commands, they are old enough to pick up their toys, at what age really depends on the child, some at 2 others at 3 but most definitely at almost 5.
2006-12-09 14:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by lisads1973 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be able to clean up after herself. Maybe she needs to pick up what she is doing before she moves onto something else. Or set a timer for 15 min and what ever is left can be done after lunch or snack. Expecting her to take all afternoon or night is wrong but a little here and there and preventing some of the mess will make it easier on her and you.
2006-12-09 13:48:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely she should be learning about taking care of her own belongings!!! I don't mean vacuuming, washing her own sheets, but definitely making the bed, putting toys away, etc. I would implement some sort of reward/consequence system... tantrums and toys left about will result in toys being put away until the child can show she respects these items enough to care for them properly... then the reward can be even cooler things that only girls who take care of their stuff can earn.
either way, at four she can put her dish in the sink, make her bed, feed the pet... but whatever the "chore" include your little people in the household maintenance!
2006-12-09 13:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is to young to clean up by herself, but she does need to learn. Go in her room and help her put everything away... after she cleans up her room reward her with something simple. Or make a chart and everytime she cleans up after herself give her a star -- when she gets so many of the stars, reward her somehow. Good luck.
2006-12-09 14:01:11 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋