is the formality of the 19th century gone for good, or will etiquette and manners make an appearance again?

Question

the pendulum has swung away. will it swing back?

the formal clothing, the (not always sincere) use of manners and titles, and respect as portrayed in earlier times, are they gone for good? or will society eventually tire of 'casual' and 'individual' and return to that era of conformity and uniformity? good or bad?

don't think it will happen? dress-down fridays have come and gone... uniforms are returning to some public schools... you never know.

Answer 1

It would be wonderful if a sincere etiquette, based on consideration of others, was more widespread. Saying thank you, please, etc. is considered the oil that keep the wheels of society/community turning smoothly.

As for pretentiousness, UGH...I'd prefer no smile to a phony one any day...!

There's a big difference between just going through the motions and actually having class. I've met a lot of people with little or no education or money who have a heck of a lot more manners and class than some pretentious, monied phonies I've come across, or those that think it's a sign of weakness when you say "I'm sorry" if you accidentally bump into them, etc. so, it seems to be individual.

And, how might we predict when these social mores and values ebb and flow? As long as the manners are the 'real thing', fine by me :)

Answer 2

My opinion is that people nowadays are so concerned about their own selfish existence that manners and such will never recover. I work in the service industry and every day I see dozens and dozens of people who refuse to use even common courtesy such as hello and thank you, as if they never had anyone to teach them. The sad thing is is that it is the younger generation mostly who have this problem. I'm only 21, and kids even one generation behind me, like 15 and 16 year olds, have no respect for anyone. In this day of lazy parenting, where we need shows like Nanny 911 and Supernanny and all that crap to teach us how to raise children, nobody is willing to take responsibility. The TV is not a babysitter. The formal clothing I think may be gone fore good, since the sexual revolution nobody wants to look like a nun, lol. I think this is a good thing, since conformity led to mostly revolution and/or boredom. Uniforms and such however are a good idea, especially today when kids get assauled at school because someone wants their sneakers or their jacket. You can call me a pessimist, but i prefer to say I'm a realist.

Answer 3

Have you read any Edith Wharton? If so, you'll realize just how constraining and restricting the super-strict etiquette rules they lived by in those days really were. I think it's great for everyone to show respect for others, which etiquette is suppose to do, but I hope it never gets to the restrictive level of the Victorian era.

No matter how much a person does to not offend people, it's a two-way street. You have no control whether the other person gets offended. So I think that if everyone works on making sure that they don't get easily offended, we'll be just fine.

Answer 4

There is a contemporary etiquette. Basic well-manneredness and kindness and consideration in human interaction are always in style and practiced. The details of how those rules are applied may change, but the basic virtues that underpin them are always present. Keep in mind that 19th century etiquette is very different from 17th century etiquette and that etiquette in France is different than etiquette in Japan.

The way you have posed the problem is very narrow, and appears to beg the question to some extent.

Answer 5

Good question. But as you know - History repeats itself. Some trends are on a faster cycle...like how the clothes from the 80's (which are similar to clothes of the 60's) are back in.

Likewise, as in our government. It has taken almost 250 years for us our country to go full circle, and turn into something that sadly resembles what the pilgrims left behind in England - an over-taxing, over-governing body that regulates most of what we do.

So, yes. I think that formality will come back.

Answer 6

Absolutely it will come back.. with a sense of order and respect.

The world is long overdue for respecting themselves enough and being able to revel in the finer things in life and Enjoying them.

I speak from a very giving nature that wants to see others 'pass go' before myself, and would help someone to do just that, but there is that need for each of us to enjoy the lives that we have come to take ahold of with a grand appreciation that who we are matters just as much, and the gifts we recieve in this life are earned.

Even the employees that work with me need to have that sense of who they are and what they do is deserving of a Grand Ball Appearance and the etiquette that would impress a Queen, as well as themselves. A formal occasion of acceptance among all that look in upon their lives.

Actually.. THIS question has inspired me to do something with my employees that will not soon be forgotten...

Yes, it's coming back, and I will help it along any way I can, with employees, children, and self!

We all deserve to be a Prince or Princess for at least one glorious day! And hopefully, each and every day.

Answer 7

I would like to see a revival of good dressing. The girls look great in dresses and gowns. And men in suits and tuxes always look good. But who can predict. Just think, someday looking like homeless bums (Like most people like to today) someday will be looked upon as nostalgic.

As far as manners go. I fear they are lost forever. Try getting a clerk to thank you or a person to let you in line. They have to be learned and there are precious few examples out there to learn froml

Answer 8

oh little johnny is continually a astounding student>>>>>>>>>Little Johnny walks into college faster or later to locate a change in decision to his ordinary instructor. She says, "hi classification, i'm Mrs. Prussy. once you're saying my call classification remember it has an "r" after the first letter." the completed classification says, "hi Mrs. Prussy." some days later the ordinary instructor continues to be ill at the same time as Little Johnny receives to his table the instructor asks what her call is. Johnny thinks puzzling and the says to the instructor, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter." "it really is precise!" she coaxed. Then after some seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"

Answer 9

seems like everything is cyclical, it'll come back around.

Answer 10

It already has.. its called Canada.