I talked to him on the phone and he seemed really nice. When I saw him I was a little shocked. He was suppose to meet me to put down my deposit. I live upstairs and I had to walk downstairs to the car b/c he could not get up the stairs. That made me think of all the other thinngs he may not be able to do. Even though i still put the deposit down not knowing how to say no at the time(can get it back, its stated in contract). I am not against handicaps in anyway, he is not slow or anything something happened and he cant walk. I feel like it was a turn off he couldnt come up the stairs and if this was any other event It may not matter so much. but this is my wedding. Should i cancel him? am i over doing it? what will my guest think? I am so confused! Ive never heard him d.j. before. I found him on the interenet and his site seemed really good. he has been djing for 15+ years. My mom says keep him. his mom says no way!! HELP!!!!!
2006-12-09 13:08:18 · 24 answers · asked by Shampaine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay, calm down.
You're experiencing Bridal meltdown right now. You shouldn't fire him just because he can't walk! So, what? He wouldn't be booking for D.J.ing if he couldn't do it!
Sweetie, HE'S A D.J.!!!!! You aren't even supposed to see him!!! So who cares if he doesn't have the appearance that you expected?
This is what I would do:
Call the place that you're having the reception at and make sure that the place the d.j. is supposed to set up is handicapped accessible. That's all you need to do. If it's okay for the reception hall, then it should be okay for you.
Like I said before, this is just Bridal Brain. You think your wedding is the only day that ever existed. It's normal. I work with brides for a living and I see it every week. Just calm down, have a glass of wine and call the reception hall.
Just a unsolicited word of advice for you sweetie: Everything will fall into place on your wedding day. Nobody will notice every detail, and if you worry constantly about them, then you wont be able to enjoy your day. Just remember what the wedding is really about, after all. It will be the most beautiful day you will ever have, even if your D.J. is handicapped.
2006-12-09 13:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would wonder about his mom? Are you marrying into a relationship with the son or will mom be involved as a control freak who sounds pretty superficial. I don't want to be indifferent to your wedding day, but brides and moms make it out to be more than what it is.
The love and commitment to another human being is what a marriage ceremony is about. It is not all of the other extravagant extras that have to be met. It is not just the brides day. Women may take it over with the princess routine as such but it is the couples day. Decisions on what takes place usually puts the man pretty much out of it, and over the last twenty years it has gotten to the point of ridiculous on elaboration.
Having been married almost forty years and having had a basic wedding I don't think either one of us cared, we have each other and still do. All I am saying is that the quality of the relationship and the love that goes with it, along with compassion for someone who is disabled says something about the character of both of you. Your mom is a wise lady, keep the gentleman I am willing to bet he is better than you will imagine.
2006-12-09 13:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by John E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is he will be an incredibly good DJ. Too many DJs are just guys trying to be cool and buying time. This guy is the real deal.
And, a wedding is EXACTLY the type of occasion where you should not discriminate against a person in a wheel chair. This is not a superficial occasion like a prom for gosh sakes. This is about a transition and a commitment to a higher form of love. Tell that to his mom and be done with it. Keep the DJ. It's your mother-in-law to worry about.
2006-12-09 13:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by mark3mcl2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Due to handicap laws everywhere he will not have any problems getting into you wedding. (pretty much every public building has to be handicap assable. Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have hired him without hearing or getting a reference but, this didn't bother you so using it as an excuse now is wrong and shows prejudice. Don't worry about it you may end up with a very good DJ because he feels he has to work harder. There is no reason for you to have a DJ that can walk getting rid of him would be bad.
2006-12-09 15:44:27 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should this matter to you? You say you're not against 'handicaps'. I think you are and don't want to admit it! Ooooh, that makes me soooo angry! The word is not 'handicapped'. What century do you live in? The man is disabled, and it is not catching. He is a man, who has feelings the same as you, so just get over your prejudice and keep the guy on. As long as the place you have your reception at is a place that is wheelchair accessable, then everything should go smoothly. Otherwise get someone else if you're that uncomfortable. But don't you dare make him feel bad just because he can't use his legs!
2006-12-09 14:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by kiwi_mum1966 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no reason why you should get a rufund and not let him dj your wedding. to ease your mind you should ask him for references. you could sit down and talk to him and if you feel weird or uncomfortable you can bring your fiance or your mother with you to ease the awkwardness and you can talk about some of the things that are concerning you. i really dont think that people are going to be commenting on the dj because he's disabled, they'll be drinking anyways...lol. just kidding. and just think if the tables were turned, would you want someone to discriminate against you because you were in a wheelchair? i think it builds and gives you character for hiring someone despite their disability. everything will be fine, after all how bad can he mess up...it's just playing music and i know it's your big day but what would making someone feel bad about themselves for something the cant change really accomplish? just sit down and talk to him, ask for references. Good luck
2006-12-09 13:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by loveable_1_4u2002 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not be able to walk, but he is out there hustling up work, he's not out there begging on the street, He could be a military man, injured from war ,this job is helping supporting his family, so what if he's in a wheel chair, ( did you want him to dance too?) I've seen so many people come back from war with missing body parts, they are still People!! They worked so hard to fit back into society, Take it from an Ex -Military Rehab nurse, You're still going to marry the man of your dreams, good luck with your wedding...Peace be with you.
2006-12-09 13:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by 520 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the DJ! Chances are with 15+ years of experience, he's go to be doing something right. If this is a profession he could not do, he wouldn't be in it. Don't let his "disability" worry you one bit. You have many other things to think about on the big day. Relax and have fun.
2006-12-09 14:24:43 · answer #8 · answered by k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him - your DJ is in the background. You are the highlight of the night. All he has to be able to do is play good music =) Most DJ's have another person with them so I'm sure he'll have his own help for setting up. I would call him and confirm what time he will be there to set up and that's about all. If he's been int he business for so long, he must be great!!!
2006-12-09 16:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him. It's not like he has to climb a tree to DJ your wedding. He'll mostly be sitting behind his records, so there's no harm in having him, and with 15 years of experience, he must be pretty good at what he does.
Besides, could you honestly look him in the eye and fire him because he's handicapped?
Don't discriminate against him; his handicap should in no way affect his ability to spin his records.
2006-12-09 13:12:00 · answer #10 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋