Are these signs of a person who is depressed?

Question

I have a friend who is selfdestructive and overweight. She weighs about 210 and she is only 28 years old. She does not exercise much because she stopped going to her weekly martial arts group. Her reason was that the people at the group do not care about her. Instead she goes to the local bar three times a week and drinks heavily there. Has about three or five drinks a night.
She told me that they care about her because the people at the bar notices when she is not there. I do care about my friend so, I'm curious are these signs of a person who is depressed?

Answer 1

No offense, but I do not believe that her weight has anything to do with whether she is depressed (unless she is upset by her weight) nor does her not exercising. I know many people who weigh as much and more than 210 who are perfectly happy! If she is upset about her weight, maybe take her shopping for a new outfit that looks good on her body type, but leave all men at home!!! I know that I DO NOT like trying on clothes in front of men! Also, invite her to go out on a walk with you on a nice day or out to do something active that you both enjoy. Maybe she just has no one who invites her along so she feels that her friends do not care about her. Remember: Actions speak louder than words. So you have to take action and not just tell her that you care about her and are worried.

Now, to answer your question...by her going to the bar so much I would say that she is feeling relief from drinking, which is NOT safe! I have done this many a time and it only makes me feel worse the next morning (via hangover or lack of knowledge from the night before!). Maybe you could point out to her that her drinking habits are not safe.

Next, I would say invite her over for dinner and have a "girls night" without alcohol! Whether it is just the two of you or a few other close friends, but be sure EVERYONE invited knows it is an alcohol-free night prior to arrival (this prevents the urge to bring a bottle of wine). Set yourselves up with a nice dinner, some chick flicks and munchies with of course a manicure/pedicure set and sit around as if you were 13 years old (yet again) and having your first slumber party! If everyone is able to, try to do this at least once a month...this will help your friend have something to look forward to as well as everyone else! Alternate who plays the hostess and what you eat/watch/do, but always keep it alcohol-free. Make her feel welcome and loved by HER FRIENDS which is VERY is IMPORTANT.

Also, listen to her when she speaks and if she says anything about suicide, cutting herself, etc...SEEK HELP!

Good luck and I hope everything goes well for your friend!

Answer 2

Be careful pathologizing her. She may have quit martial arts because she wasn't having fun. Maybe she goes to the bar because they are her friends. Maybe she has fun there. While drinking every night isn't good, it does not make her depressed or an alcoholic. You need to understand her motivations better before deciding that she has a problem. For instance 3 drinks may be a lot, but if she is at the bar for 5 hours a day, 3 drinks is not that much. She may not even get more than a slight buzz. If she has to be carried out of the bar everyday, then that is a different story. Be cautious, but at this point be a friend. Don't judge, but show concern. Keep an eye, on her destructive tendencies, and if she acts depressed more of the time, or can't stop drinking despite bad consequences, then help her get help.

Answer 3

I would definitely say yes. I'm on anti-depressants myself and she certainly shows some signs. Depression can cause loss of interest in activities or hobbies that one previously enjoyed, even in caring for ones' self (bathing, wearing clean clothes, staying in pajamas all day, not dressing at all), sadness, eating disorder. Drinking could also be a symptom.

Does she tend to be a shop-a-holic or go on shopping binges or any kind of binges for that matter? It seems she may very well have low self-esteem.

The people in that martial arts class may not be as social as she would like, but in a bar the only thing she will pick up are people looking for someone to get drunk with. They may notice when she is not there but I would bet my booties they are looking for something else; like someone to meet at Alcoholic's Annon. in a few years, someone to buy a round, or maybe lead up to a tumble in the hay.

She definitely feels lonely so the next time she wants to go drinking ask her to take a walk or ride a bike with you. Maybe the two of you can find an aerobics class or she could get a cheap guitar and either teach herself or find a class. Exercise is good for depression so try to keep her moving.

The important thing is to get her out of the bar and involved in something constructive and check with the local social services. Sounds like she needs counseling before she gets too far along. Many depressed people contemplate or commit suicide.

I was lucky for several reasons. My nervous breakdown lead to those who cared about me to take me to the emergency room and ultimately to psych thearpy and counseling. I don't think about suicide anymore. I have a wonderful husband, family which include both of my step children, and friends. Having caring people around for support is a big plus in recovery. I was eventually diagnosed with hypo-mania bi-polar, ADD, sleep apnea and am due for extensive neurological testing after Christmas. I am unable to work but can deal with things most of the time, and am limited on where I drive unless I have another person (preferably a driver) with me. I have my good days and my bad days but I enjoy my early Christmas present from my husband -- a 2 station home gym.

Hope this helps and God Bless you both.

Answer 4

Losing interest in activities that were previously enjoyed is indeed a symptom of depression (you need several symptoms to actually be diagnosed, however). Sounds like your friend is also turning to drug use to cope with her problems. The best you can do is be there for your friend and offer her positive, constructive support. Don't be pushy or tell her what to do, that will just put her on defense. She alone must make the decision to change positively, and all you can do right now is try and nudge her gently in the right direction.

Answer 5

yes, these are the signs of depression. There may be a lot more going on with her then what's on the surface. A depressed person will stop doing what they routinely do. They will turn to alcohol and drugs trying to make themselves feel better. I'd suggest that you watch her behavior closely. See what else has changed within her life. You may also want to sit down and talk to your friend. (Intervention). Maybe suggest that you will go with her to see a psychologist or counselor about what's been bothering her.

Answer 6

She's obviously not well, and depression is a pretty good label to start with. A wise person once described depression as 'anger without enthusiasm' ... there's lots of good advice in the other answers, so my two penn'orth is to try to help her work out (and work through) what she's angry about, who she's angry with, etc. and that could be a good starting point on the road to recovery.

I'm glad that she has a good friend in you. People with depression often think that their friends can't possibly like them or enjoy their company, so you are doing a good thing by staying with her. Blessings and be well.

Answer 7

Hands down she is depressed. I get so many emails through my website http://www.attackanxiety.com about this topic. It would blow your mind.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes you to feel sad or hopeless for an extended period of time. More than just a bout of "the blues" or temporary feelings of grief or low energy, depression can have a significant impact on your enjoyment of life, your work, your health, and the people you care about.

Depression affects people differently. Some feel down for extended periods of time; for others the feelings of depression come and go. If you have short episodes of mild depression, you may be able to continue to work and take care of daily activities. However, if you do not seek some form of treatment for your depression, you are at risk for getting more depressed or becoming physically ill. In severe cases, depression can cause people to become incapable of communicating, unable to do routine activities, or suicidal. In these cases, it is essential to seek medical attention.

People with depression may be reluctant to seek help because they feel that it is a sign of personal weakness or a character flaw or that they should be able to "pull out of it" on their own. We now know that depression, like other medical conditions, has a chemical and biological basis. Treatment for depression is safe and usually effective even for severely depressed people.

I hope this helps you understand more about your friend. Be there for her.

Answer 8

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION AND MANIA

Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression

* Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
* Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
* Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
* Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
* Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
* Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
* Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
* Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
* Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
* Restlessness, irritability
* Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm#ptdep3

Answer 9

She is. And it is too bad. I had a friend do the same thing. Now she is pregnant and such a happier person. I worried about her all the time, but now I don't. Try to take your friend and do other things. Get her into something she may not have done before. Have her get a dog that she will have walk daily! Good luck, been there!

Answer 10

LOW SELFESTEEM!Whether she is suffers from depression or not, i cant tell you so! But low self esteem can definately drive her to depression, She goes to bar because alcohol makes her feel better forget about her "problems". She could go to a psychologist to gain her self esteem back