Is 17 too young to get engaged - not married yet?

Question

i have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, I am 17 and he is 20. We are very much in love, we have never really argued - just petty fights that we seem to resolve within 10 mins!!

now, he knows how commited to him I am and we often talk of marriage and children but we are not in the right financial position to move in together, im in 1st year of uni and hes just started his job after uni. he has bought me a ring for my xmas white gold with a pink heart and has jokingly asked if it will fit my ring finger, asking if we will get engaged. I think it is a lovely idea, as a symbol of commitment when we are unable to commit financially.

I find it hard to connect with my mother so I feel that I cant ask her opinion.

what I mean by financially able is when Im earning some money. I dont want to be dependent on him just yet ; )

Answer 1

I think 17 is to young but they got married earlier than that in the olden days. So maybe you could think of the ring as a promise ring.

Answer 2

I was engaged at 17 and we had been together for 18 months at that time. We ended up breaking up before we got married a year later. I am 27 now and I can say that between 17 and 2,1 I learned alot and then again I learned alot about life between 21 and 25. I would wait a few more years. Marriage isnt as easy as having a wedding and buying a pretty dress. Its the life after marriage that is hard. I got married at 25 and I know I couldn't of handled all the stuff one deals with once you move out and have your own place and bills and live with that person 24/7.

Take some more years and mature together. People change so much and can grow apart.

Answer 3

I'm undecided on how to answer your question. I agree with most that 17 is young, it is also the age that I married my husband of 20 years. I know a lot of couples who get married at a young age don't last, but a lot of it depends on many factors other than age. I don't think that the engagement is a bad idea, but if you are planning on furthering your education...I would hold off on marriage for a while. The main thing is that you are young and have the rest of your life to be married...make sure the foundation is there before rushing in to anything. Marriage is much smoother when you and he both have a career that you enjoy, financial means to live comfortably, and have experienced life a little bit.

This is just one of those things you'll really have to think about for yourself. I do not have one bit of regret for the fact that I got married when I was 17. I was mature enough at the time. I now have a daughter who will be turning 17 soon and I know that she's not anywhere close to being mature enough. You know yourself better than anybody...think about it and figure out what is right for you. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

I'm 19 and my boyfriend's nearly 24 we've been dating since I was 17 and we moved in together after 5 months of dating and have been living together ever since. We're absolutely devoted to each other and have a very independent relationship we rent a home
together, have pets together, pay for all our rent and bills etc.

I truly don't think anyone should get married until they've lived together. Living together has ruined many a marriage. It puts every relationship to the test and is the only real way to show you what it's like to be with him every day all day except for work etc.

I also think having been through a big fight is important. It's not a good thing- it sounds silly I know but when you go through a bad fight and then work together to resolve the problem it's a huge step in your relationship. It's important to know how to deal with big problems together.

Trust me it's a challenge. I'm not engaged yet, we're planning on getting engaged in the next year and then having a 3 year engagement before getting married. We love each other to bits and plan on spending the rest of our lives together... but that's how nearly every couple that gets married feels and then 50% of those end up in divorce.

So we're not going to rush it. We want to ease ourselves into it.

To me 17 does sound very young. Especially considering you've been with this one guy since you were 15. However I do know a few couple who have been together since they were 14/15 and they're now in their 50's/60's.

I would say wait a little while, why dont you get promise rings? That's what we've done. My boyfriend gave me a stunning promise ring and promised he would propose to me when we were in the right position to get engaged and promised to always be faithful and love me for the rest of our lives.


-Elise

Answer 5

Well, it is pretty young, but I was married at 19, so I have no room to talk. If you are totally committed to each other and have talked this out and know that you both want to spend the rest of your life together, then I say go for it. One thing, if you wait until you are financially able to get engaged and married, then it will never happen. My husband and I both had OK jobs when we got married and yes we struggled, but it made our marriage stronger. We lived in some pretty crappy apartments, and a mobile home, but we look back on it now and laugh. Married 30 years.

Answer 6

I dont know, I can see both sides of the coin. I was engaged to my boyfriend at age 19, we were married 3 years later at age 22. We just celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary last Tuesday.

Both my and my husband's parents were married at 22 or younger and their marriges have lasted over 40 years each. (My parents had only known each other for 2 weeks before they married, he proposed the night they met)

I think it can work and I personally dont think that 17 is too young to be engaged. I would, however, recommend that you stay engaged for a year or two, since it is so much easier to break off an engagement than a marriage.(it sounds as if this is the plan anyway) And if you give yourselves enough time to mature individually and as a couple I think you will be fine.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

Well, Ms as an older male I would have to say yes. It is not about how many fights. There is awhole world out there and marriage,children is avery big step that takes alot of time and adds alot of pressure on a young couple. I would give yourselfs several years to get out of school and start a job job. Money is not an issue to when a child should be put in the mix. Life awhile and get an idea where lifes road is taking you before you take such a big step.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

no , ii think that is a perfect idea . if you guys love each other , then why shouldn't you spend tha rest of your lives 2gether . who says you have 2 be a certain age 2 love or marry ? some people may say no , it's a bad idea because you are only 17 , but honestly , nobody understands you 2 , like you do . you guys can be engaged &&; then later on down tha road when you feel you can commit 2 each other financially , then you should get married . if this is tha guy you want 2 spend your life with , go 4 it !! good luck honey !

Answer 9

Okay, 17 is too young to get married! I say, if you want to get engaged then go for it, but don't plan the wedding anytime soon! I was married when I was 20 and I think that was too young! I ended up getting divorced after only 7 months and before getting married we had been together for 3 1/2 years! Just think about it, but in the end it's up to you and what you think will make you happy.

Answer 10

Move your mind about 20 years into your future when you have a child age 17 . . . would you, from that view point of being a fuller experienced adult and parent wish for your 17 year old child to be committing to a relationship? Yes ? No ? Think of this and that will give you your answer.