My girlfriend as been in a wheelchair for nearly 2 weeks, shes been paralyzed from the waist down.
The shock hit her bad, at first she said we should only be friends from now on because she didn't feel she had much to offer me, so I reassured her and we were fine up until last night where the same old stuff came back with her saying I deserve more, and that she feels unattractive and she donesn't feel like the same person. She said the peron I fell in love with was the person who could dance and walk and be wild. Then I reassured her that it wasn't that. She keeps saying her self esteem isn't the problem when it obviously is and that she says it's her personality change, and she needs time to 'regain her personality' ?. She said that she needs time to adjust to being the new her before she can feel good enough.
She doesn't feel like a 'real woman',says shes afraid she wont b good enough when it comes 2 sex. Feels 'small'
How long before she accepts herself, and feels cormfortable?
2006-12-09 11:23:29 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way she is in love with me and doesnt want to lose me, so it's not me.
I feel exactly the same (she knows it) and I would do anything for her.
Her being in a wheelchair hasn't affected how I see her physically or mentally.
2006-12-09 11:25:18 · update #1
I became a chair-user 8 years ago.
During a "pain-management" session I was asked "Do you feel guilty?"
I was instantly incensed!!!
GUILTY?
ME???
Why WOULD I be??
What do I have to feel guilty about???
I didn't do anything wrong!!.......
This is hard to put into words...
I always thought my husband was mad at me and when he came home from work each day and he WASN'T mad at me I felt relieved but didn't understand WHY!
I never asked myself why I thought he WOULD be mad at me ...
until I was asked the question "Do you feel guilty" - then I realised that I DID feel guilty!
No logic, no offer of help - just telling you how it was/is for me...yes I STILL feel guilty! :'(
(You're not gonna get a thumbs up from ME; 'cos you made me cry! Maybe I need to face my guilt issues...okay, you ARE gonna get a thumbs up - because you made me even THINK about facing my guilt issues!!)
Okay - thumbs up given - but how do I "face up to my guilt issues"?
2006-12-09 11:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by franja 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well let me first congratulate both of you on taking a human and honest view of the situation. My wife went into a wheelchair some five years after being diagnosed with MS. The situation was tense, wretched at times and demanding but I developed a sense of duty and devotion that got stronger every day. In a way, it became satisfying to be the carer. Life was restricted of course but there were happy times and somehow the simple things seemed to matter a lot more. I think it can work for you both ..... just take each day as it comes and remember that nothing is set in stone. And make use of everyone that can be useful ..... GP, district nurses, family and friends, advice lines, support groups .... I never did and regret it of course. Regrettably my wife had to eventually go into a nursing home as her condition demanded 7/24 care but the time spent as a carer was not an unhappy one and there are memories to be had. It sounds like you are both great and accepting people ... don't throw that away. The very best to you both ... Mike
2006-12-09 11:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is coming to terms with a major event in her life and has to find her way of dealing with it
just be there for her when she needs you she will let you no when the time is right for you both?
My best wishes to both of you and a merry Christmas & happy new year to you both.
2006-12-09 11:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by arthur3home 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋