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Is it normal to feel like you don't want to be with someone anymore.....but you still stick around and make it work because you love them? I love my bf very much but sometimes he just makes me wonder if I should even be with him. We argue but then we make up....I am confused on what I should do. Do I stick around or leave. He has a daughter that I ADORE and I wouldn't want to be without her and we have broke up in the past and it drove me crazy...but I did like having some of my freedom!

2006-12-09 10:56:07 · 32 answers · asked by TNL 4 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

btw...some of you wanted to know my age...I just turned 21

2006-12-09 11:17:25 · update #1

32 answers

First of all I would wonder why other girlfriend ( or maybe wife) left him. but I think that if you truly love this man you should stick around and everyone argues because it makes us stronger and we wouldn't be living right if life was easy. but if it keeps going and you are still wondering if this is the man you really love and might spend the rest of your life with I would recommend thinking it over very hard and maybe relieve yourself and have that sense of freedom again.

2006-12-09 11:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by hannahgurly 2 · 1 1

My best friend is in the same situation and I will tell you what I told her...You love the child more than you love the boyfriend....If there is regular arguing than get out of it. Everyone argues but not on a regular basis. If you get out before you have invested too much time you won't have many regrets, but if you stay in it a long time and it ends up just being okay instead of nice then you will have regrets and they can haunt you when you get older. Plus you only have your youth once. Spend it carefully with the ones you really want to be with...If he's not Mr. Right, go find him. You never will as long as you are connected to Mr. Wrong....

2006-12-09 11:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1 0

I spent 4 years of my life with those same feelings. I really should have moved on way before those 4 years. It only hurt us more in the long run. I don't have any ill-willed feelings for him... but I'm sure that he does.

As I say in almost every answer I've posted "honesty is the best policy". Just don't expect for him to be happy about the relationship ending... He will be hurt (his ego too) he may say somethings just cause. So be cautious on your "break up" technique... you want him to know that you care.. but things are just not working.... and it would be unfair to him, to go on...feeling the way you do now.

I wish you the best of luck... and hope that you will not take 4 years to make the ending decision... its just worse after so much time is invested.

Truly
ElleXiz

2006-12-09 11:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ellexiz 2 · 0 0

My suggestion is that you really take some time and think about the real reasons behind why you're having doubts. What are the pros and cons of either path? Which one really would make you happier? Are the problems you're experiencing that are causing you to fight and stuff fixable..or will they probably never go away?

I'd suggest that if you do decide to stay and decide that there are problems, try and work them out with him. If there's still love there, try your best to make it work first. : )

Only you can really answer what you asked here, but from what you said it seems that you might be leaning more towards staying with him. I wouldn't worry about if it's normal or not. I think you're just feeling this way because there are certain things which aren't exactly how you'd like them to be inthe relationship..So try and work them out first then see how it feels.

Good luck with it and I hope things work out whichever way you go!

Blessings and Love

2006-12-09 11:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by intothecrimsonsky 3 · 1 1

i felt that way about my bf but i say to myself am i gonna find somebody who is going to love me like he does are they gonna are they gonna but up with my s**t so i just sat down told him how i felt and we found new things to do with each other and different thing explore in the bedroom to try new things there if you break up with him u might end up missing what u had it happen to me we broke up and he was dating new people when i found out i was real angry like how could u just move on but it was my fault because i let a good thing go. but i got him back and had to call the girl back to tell to stop calling my man. so just know you don't know what u got until it gone it true i hope this help if not it was goo to tell my story to someone else thanx

2006-12-09 11:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by heavenangels1 1 · 1 0

ok ..... Look that sounds like marriage, and trust me its NOT easy. But before you really do get married, weigh the pros and cons...but yes thats all normal, just celebrated my 5th wedding aniv. so I know a little about looking at my hubby and trippin. BUT I LOVE HIM.... and thats that! I was married once before, and o my I shouldnt have stayed in that one as long as I did. You need to tell him how you feel about your freedom cause thats not going to work, not in the long run. GL HUN!! But dont stay if you have to be someone that you dont want to be, or because you love his lil girl. It will only make things worse for her!

2006-12-09 11:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by TamBam 2 · 1 1

It can happen and does all the time. The thing to think about is his daughter is growing and going to be gone one day in the future, then just you and him...he is only a boyfriend, not your husband, big difference.

2006-12-09 11:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by love_lost_lady44 1 · 1 0

If you don't want to be with him anymore, you should focus on that and not the daughter b/c in the end that's no reason to stay. Hopefully you and he can end on good terms and you can still see her. Unless you have kids together & think you can work it out; the best advise i can give - listen to your instincts. If they say go, then go.

2006-12-09 11:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by RedDevyl 3 · 1 2

well in a way i have the same problem. my bf changed and became a different person. i am staying with him just to see if i can make it work. i loved the person he was but i am not sure if i love the person he became. its a personal call realy. how far will u go to make it work?

2006-12-09 11:00:19 · answer #9 · answered by punk girl 4 · 2 1

maybe take some time away from him before you go and break up for good to see if that's what you want for sure

2006-12-09 11:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lg 4 · 1 0

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