Why Can't men wait till there married, with a young beautiful girl,instead of sleeping with every girl they go out with.
We women should make men respects us, and if they love us they can wait. I know that some people may think that this is old but, We would get more respect,and men wouldn't see us as just a piece of meat. What do you think.
2006-12-09 10:53:28 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I say this because my boyfriend says
"i need some and if you dont give me some am going to look for someone else"
i tell him well you better start looking cause your wasting your time with me.
Some guys are real pigs.
2006-12-09 10:55:26 · update #1
its good to know that theres still some guys out there that know how to respect a women
2006-12-09 11:01:23 · update #2
Wow, I admire your guts!
I think you're right about everything you just said and I'm a guy (don't tell anyone I agreed, lol).
Good for you!
/hi-five
2006-12-09 10:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by Edward 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not a "man" issue. It's a personal choice. Some men don't place as much value on sex as others. Just like some women were born with their legs open, and others, like yourself, would rather save it for the right time (marraige).
You need to understand that a lot of this is by popularity. People THINK that everyone around them is sleeping with people left and right... when really, a lot of people aren't. Don't blame every male for the choices of others. There ARE men out there who are more than willing to wait. Mostly because they believe in the same religious values that you do.
Also, bear in mind, that saving it for marriage can be bad news in the sense that there are a lot of sickos out there who would marry a woman just to get her... and divorce is also something they don't take seriously.
Just know what you're doing.
If your man is leaving you because you won't have sex with him... to hell with him. That's not love, nor a relationship based on anything aside from the physical aspect.
If he wants a whore, then let him go find one. There are plenty of them out there.
Way to be strong!
2006-12-09 11:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Alicia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because your BF is a horny little boy, doesn't mean every guy is the same way. And I'm not saying this to defend guys though cause we all know what guys almost always think about when they're awake.
I wouldn't call it "believe" neither. I personally don't oppose sex before marriage, but also don't oppose those who want to wait. I dont think we girls don't need that to earn respect. There are several other ways. Also, if your mentality think, by having sex with guy, will put you on the unrespectable victim spot, then it will be that way. On the other hand, if your mentality goes, well sex is all about my choice, you will see things a little differently.
2006-12-09 11:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the other user that said that sex and respect are two different things. A man can still respect you even though he is sleeping with you and in your case a man can still disrespect you even when he's not sleeping with you. I got married very young and although I did have sex before marriage the sex in my marriage was great. Had our relationship just been based on sex we would have stayed together. The reason we eventually divorced was completely unrelated to our sex lives.
I guess it really depends on how important sex is to you. Sex is important to me and to risk getting married and then having awful sex just wouldn't work for me. Some people don't value sex as much as I do.
I think having sex before marriage isn't really any different than making sure you have things in common before marriage. Being compatible in bed is really no different than liking the same music, the same food, similiar hobbies.
You seem to have this view that you can make a man respect you more by witholding sex from him. When in reality you're in turn disrespecting men by saying they value sex so much that you can use it to turn them into the kind of man you want by using sex as the strings.
Your last statment is the one that's important! Find a guy who won't treat you like a piece or meat and who will respect you to begin with and then sex or no sex won't matter.
I agree that waiting to have sex until you find a guy who will love and respect you makes sense. But keep in mind that a majority of men are use to having sex before marriage and some guys may fear marrying you worried that the sex won't be good. Sex may not be important to you (probably because you haven't had it yet) but to those of us who have had it it can be the glue that keeps the marriage together.
And Sue where did you get those statistics? I'd like to see your source for those. Because of course the divorce rate is going to be higher with couples who engaged in sex before they got married over those who didn't just based on the fact that more people have sex before marriage than those that do not. Also in countries where arrange marriages are popular (therefore there wouldn't be sex before marriage) divorce is also unthought of.
My advice is this: If you haven't had sex with a guy don't think you can control him with sex by doing this you insult his intelligent and more so you are insulting all the good respectful guys out there who don't let sex drive them.
Find a guy who will respect you but don't assume just because he wants to have sex with you that he is disrespecting you or will disrespect you once you give him sex. It doesn't work that way. A guy either respects you or he doesn't and men don't associate sex to respect like you do.
Lastly respect the fact that some people do value sex in a relationship as much as they value other common interests. It doesn't mean they are disrespectful because they feel this way ;)
2006-12-09 11:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by copper_eos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't WANT to get married, some shouldn't get married. Yes I do beleive in sex before marriage, if the couple are emotionally and financially prepared for ALL of the consequences and they don't want to marry it is no one else's business but their own. I do respect myself that's WHY I don't want to get married. I have a choice in MY life. Marriage isn't always "respectful" to women, it can be extremely degrading and depressing. Funny that men who batter their WIVES and those who have actually KILLED their wives doing so won't go to such extreems with someone they aren't married to Yes they might hit a girlfirend but they wouldn't be as inclined to beat her to death. To some men marrige equals ownership. I'm not a commodoty to be owned by anyone, least of all a man.
2006-12-09 11:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its in the genes. We have to leave our mark. But I also understand that women want THE man of thier lives. Men do generally respect women. That is why women dont generally get pregnant. Its not that you are a piece of meat. Remember, you may not be the girl for him. And that would be a waste of time. And all that waiting will be in vain.
2006-12-09 11:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by sk20007623 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I'm old fashioned and i don't know many guys like myself. our culture promotes adultery and unnatural coexistence like its the norm "everybody does it." I for one am a Roman Catholic and proud of it so for all those catholics out there who think that its okay to have premarital sex its called Adultery. its a sin plain and simple. honestly in all the dating and women i've met i don't meet women who care about it much anymore. its all about pleasure right now. I know being faithful to myself and to my future wife whoever she may be will be worth it in the end. I only hope i can find a woman who thinks the same about the subject as i do. good luck though.
2006-12-09 11:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ben S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're living in the eighteenth century sweetie. Women approach men now a days and maybe sex is on their mind. I say I'm all for sex before marriage. What if the man that you love and cherish can't satisfy you in bed? So the rest of your life you will have to have one of the special boxes hidden in the closet that he doesn't know about. Girl please!! If you want to wait, do you, that's cool. As for me, I like to test the merchandise before I purchase!!!
2006-12-09 10:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Nessy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I disagree. If you love someone what is the problem in expressing it in an act of passion? Sex and respect are two different issues. Why wouldn't he respect you if he sleeps with you? Women normally confuse these two issues....have you ever considered the reason he sleeps around, is because you won't sleep with him? And why would you want to wait until marriage? Hmm, like me see...my wedding night, I find out I don't even enjoy making love to my now husband....I want to know that we are sexual compatible before marriage.
2006-12-09 10:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm not like you're BF. If I truly loved my girlfriend, i would wait for sex until the time was really right for BOTH of us. Even after marriage.
2006-12-10 16:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I made him wait until we got married. That was 28 years ago. We're still married, and more importantly, happily!
I know he married me because he respected me, not because he felt he HAD to!
After 4 months of dating, I told him I wouldn't have sex with him and that it was nice knowing him. The next day he sent me roses and signed it, RESPECTFULLY YOURS
2006-12-09 10:56:48 · answer #11 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋