My daughter has a new friend that lives alone with her dad. The thing is, her dad was in prison for 10 years / drug offences. I don't know the details or anything but I get an uncomfortable feeling when my daughter hangs out at their house. Maybe it's the way the guy looks-he's got long hair, tattoos and seems like a very angry person. I hate to judge people by their appearances (and rarely do), but I just get a weird vibe everytime I see him. Also, it may have to do with the fact that I overheard one of my daughter's other friends saying that he gives them beer to drink (but this is most likely untrue since that girl always lies).
Do you think I should continue allowing her to hang out at their house?
2006-12-09 10:27:12 · 19 answers · asked by Chicago Man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i think you should meet the dad, and see what he did first,
2006-12-09 10:29:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rather than jumping to conclusions why don't you make a point when you drop your daughter off there to try and get to know this man. I am sure that you made a couple of bad choices in your life as well and it would be cruel to judge you by these forever and even worse if your children were judged by your actions. Sometimes this can be perfect opportunity to reach out help another and make a friend at the same time. Never judge a book by it's cover. Everyone has a story and maybe you would be chastened when you learn this man's.
2006-12-09 11:11:09 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm that is a tuff one. I think what I would do is first find out if he id giving the kids alcohol. If not then, talk to your daughter and tell her that you trust her and ask her what she thinks about the guy. I just feel bad for the guys daughter. What is she like? I mean if she is an OK kid then well let your daughter be her friend and keep your eyes and ears open. ONe other thing, have you tried to talk to the dad? Maybe you may find that he is not so bad. He did the time for his crim and maybe he has learned something.
2006-12-09 11:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope don't think so, and not because of the long hair or the tatts. Not even the time in jail, we all mess up now and then,that's apart of learning, drugs are different then violent or sexual crimes. I'm saying no way because of the way that you really feel when your around him. It just takes one time.... I don't think that you want to learn what could/might/will happen with YOUR daughter. what if the girl that always lies, isn't lieing about this one. Its time to just let your daughters friends hang out at your house. If she/they have a problem with that.. then there could be something else going on. Maybe its time to brake that friendship up, keep yr daughter busy with other things............... BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!!!
2006-12-09 10:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by TamBam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure it is prudent under the circumstances. Until you find out more about the situation there, I think caution should be taken.
There are parents that do give their kids and friends of kids beer to drink, this is a fact. Whether this applys here or not, you don't know.
The guys appearance, his attitude, and the tattoos can't be all you use to gauge a person, although his history does throw up a red flag to me.
I think I would sure be doing some real investigating and find out the straight scoop. She is your daughter and your responsibility, and as such, need to be sure of what is going on.
Good luck!
2006-12-09 10:38:49 · answer #5 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, u should stop ur daughter going over their house..if the want to hang out they should just come over ur house...and go to the park or mall whatever..if he doesn’t harm ur daughter physically he will still be a bad influence on her. And she may look up to him as an older person and may think it is okay to be go to prison..doing drugs..you are talking about your daughter don’t take no chance..I am 20 years old and I would expect my dad to protect me at this age so ya...shouldn’t take any chances stop her but don’t let her know the dad was the reason why....cause you don’t want the angry man with long hair and tattoos chasing you out of the village...lol BE CAREFUL NOW!
2006-12-09 10:55:49 · answer #6 · answered by love poisoner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, mother of 5 here. Well, she could keep her friendship with the girl but hang out at your house instead of theirs and go by your gut feeling on this guy. I'd keep my eyes and ears wide open just in case that girl wasn't telling a lie. She can get over getting mad but getting hurt is another thing. Hang in there.
2006-12-09 12:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by good ole girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow your intuition. If you keep getting a bad feeling about that guy then don't let your daughter go over their house but let the girl come over yours instead. That way you have the peace of mind because you know your daughter is safe and she still gets to play with her friend.
2006-12-09 10:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by babeejazzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your instincts. As a young woman, anytime a guy gives me a weird/bad vibe, I steer clear, regardless of how they look. The guy seems creepy via your description, and I certainly wouldn't let my kid sister over there, nor would I go myself.
Your daughter may freak if/when you decide to end her visits; simply explain the sitch, and how you'd have to kill the guy if anything happened to her, and that you really don't want to be driven to that extreme.... ;-). let the girls hang out at your place. end of story.
2006-12-09 10:33:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
..Well,if he did the time for his crime and the parole board released him ,I would have to say he has been rehabilitated and with hope wont make the same mistakes again.just remember 10 years behind bars will make anyone have a bad attitude.As far as the beer thing,you have to have trust in your daughter,she should know right from wrong,If he offers beer she should refuse ,If you dont trust her to make the right decision then dont allow her to go there
2006-12-09 15:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably don't have a choice, cause if you forbide a kid to do something, they will probably sneak and do it any how. Don't judge the child by the father. You don't know his situation, trust your daughter, long hair and tatoos do not always make a bad person.
2006-12-09 10:30:37 · answer #11 · answered by Patricia S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋